Givingup4good recovery diary

Day 16 still going strong

Broke on day 17. So guess tomoro is day 1 again. Didn't go on a mad one and didn't break the bank. But as ppl have said on here this is exactly how it starts all over again. £20 on football bets I don't even have any interest in. 'Trying to win back what I paid out for my payday loan'. I'm stupid I know. Feel like I've let myself down. 17 days is a personal best. Guess I'm back to day 1 and have to beat my 17 now. Sorry guys

Self excluded from the website I used. Justifying it to myself saying awk sure it was £20.

Was doing so well.

Think its a combination of being in work tonight and having some spare time 'to kill' and too many urges.

You're back & you haven't given up giving up 🙂 Lesson learned, gambling is the cause not the solution!

No apology needed, just glad to see you getting right back to it!

Keep fighting - ODAAT

Gambling is the cause, not the solution. - they're exactly the words I need to hear ODAAT. Thank you.

Glad to see you have come back after the relapse...that is the important thing! i disappeared for months after my relapse about 18 months ago!

You showed you are strong by getting where you did so just class this as a blip and jump back on the wagon.

Day 3. Since my (very brief) relapse my urges have decreased. Maybe I just needed to do it to realise

Back to day one. Went on a binge and got lucky along the way. Managed to pay off all my debts and have 1.8k left over. Horse racing. I stopped gambling on the horses and this week at Aintree I couldn't help myself. It was profitable and I'm happy to be completely out of debt but I couldn't stop. Lost another 800 in a day. So I've 1k in the bank and no debt. This time last week I was minus 200 and owed another 1k out in credit cards and payday loans.

I opened new online accounts last week. Just self excluded from them this morning bcos this 1k is burning a hole in my pocket.

I'm sick living like this. Imagine saying that after winning. But I really am. I hope I don't gamble this 1k away and then hit the credit cards and payday loan companies again. It's a viscious circle.

Hopefully this is the end of the road for me now without having to hit rock bottom. I feel like I've been to my rock bottom already and survived but maybe I haven't.

Anyway... Day 1 again. Hoping I can really do it this time. I have nothing to chase anymore. No debt. So hopefully I can resist the urges and start to use my money for something more sensible.

Sorry for the rant. Sorry for almost making 'gambling out of debt' a good idea. That's not what I want to portray its just what has happened to me. All out stories are different. Hope I can just stay this way. I don't expect too many messages of support. I balls this up too often now. I'd say I'm a strong willed person but reading back through this diary that's 2 slip ups in the space of a matter of weeks. I'm lucky I'm coming out without delving deeper into debt. At least I hope this is 'coming out'

Hi, as someone who has suffered from gambling (no debt - but destroyed my hopes and aspirations for the future), I am replying to you, to say stop at this juncture. No debt at the moment is good, constantly thinking about gambling with your remaining £1K is bad. Try really hard to stop now, as many on here will tell you, debt is a bad place to be.

Day 4 for the third time now.

Let myself down again. The bet I done won. But why can't I just stop?! What dafuq is wrong with me.

Hi Giving Up 4 Good.

Just been catching up on your story, sorry for hear you've been struggling.

the main thing is everytime you have stumbled you have gone back to it.

I can't tell you why you are going back gambling or what is triggering you, all I can say is the desire is there as you try again.

hoping that light bulb moment hits you and you stick with it as it will make you a much happier person.

best of luck and stay strong

Thanks fighter1 I'll get there.. Hopefully

17 days is the longest I've went without gambling. On day 15 now. Hoping to beat my last personal best.

Well done and I'll be looking to see how you are doing to getting past the 17 mark. Will be lots of people willing you on too.

Take care and do it!