Hi Freda,
Thanks for your post, as always you somehow manage to cheer me up. Your jaunty(not flirty), style of writing always makes me laugh.
You are a popular girl today, well done on a good day, you deserve it. In terms of your interview, my advice, for what its worth, would be not to tell them anything at all about your illness history unless you absolutely have to.
This is not meant in a negative way towards you at all. Employers tend to look for any reason at all not to employ people, rather than the other way round. Unfortunate but true, I agree that if the boss is a k******d you want to know now, but my experience of bosses, line manager, office managers etc... is that they wont show you what a pillock they are until a a few days after you have started.
I would try and get the job under your own ability today and forget about your past issues when applying. I think you will get it and do brilliantly, they would be mad not to employ yoy wouldn't they?
Good Luck and well done today.
DT
Hi Freda,
Well done on the interview. In my humble opinion I would recommend you did not discuss your health issues. I know employers are supposed to be fair but they just aren't. Show them your true personality, let it shine through.....you will do brilliantly. Just go for it and don't let anythig hold you back...don't disclose anything that may be viewed as negative unless you are asked and even then have your answers prepared to turn your situation into a positive........protect yourself girl. "Fail to Prepare then Prepare to Fail"......I know it sounds a little corny but it's a phrase that has been with me throughout my career history and it has never let me down.
Now go get that job....love Jas xx
PS and just for today DO NOT GAMBLE
Awww, yous guys are the best!
Thanks for advice too. You are probs right, just not very good at lying...
As an old friend used to say though "whats for you, won't go by you". In other words if its right for me, I'll get it.
Hi Freda (K)
Thanks for that posting, you always give me something to think about and thankyou for making me laugh tonight you and DT *** me up!
Your doing so well and im glad things are starting to pick up for you.
Im getting there slowly and surely, kinda had a good day with my boys today, done a little cooking and had a food fight which was fun.
Your recovery is going so well and i very much hope it continues,
Take care ands xx
Hi Freda,
Have just sat and read the last few pages of your diary and , this will sound cheesey. but you have come a million miles in the last month or so, made lots of friends on here, supported many people and have a rare gift of expressing yourself so eloquently and so what if you come across as flirty sometimes - it's what makes us human and female and it's fun!
The bit about the s**t people have to put up with in the workplace, saying what the boss wants to hear and grinding for long hours to try to reach unachievable targets certainly rings true with me - I'm lucky to still be in work right now but the future's far from secure.
Just keep on doing what you're doing though 'cause all the time you're filling your time doing your voluntary work and staying away from gambling, you're meeting people and building up your confidence in yourself - it's hard when they're family but take everyone's advice and limit your time spent around people who put you down or make you miserable 'cause it's your life and if other people want to mess theirs up it's up to them - you've made the decision to improve yours - stick with it.
Sorry I have a tendency to ramble - that's just me - I'm not as good at expressing myself as you are.
Wishing you all the luck in the world with job hunting and continuing recovery
Kay x
Had a nice couple of days. Feeling a bit sore just now, as my sister-in-law is on my facebook and put a post on her page saying theyre off to see my mental bro and the kids this weekend. I know I need to stay away for a while, as the family dynamic is. well, nuts! but still cant help feel a pang of jealousy. I miss them (the kids that is).
Thats life though. Just a little niggle that touched a sore spot, but onward and upward I must!
Taking my Mam out for her tea tomorrow (how northern am i? lol) and generally having a quiet weekend, as busy bust week next week.
For today I WILL NOT GAMBLE!!!! woo hoo!
Was going to edit my typing error, but going to leave it cos its funny....
Busy busy week next week, lol.
Freda (K)
Just had a catch up on your diary and great news to hear about the job interview. When is it ?
I agree with Jas, keep it all positive, and if the job is one that you really want I wish you every success with the interview.
We are all fighting the same battle on here and all have different challenges to overcome to succeed with recovery from this awful addiction, but you are doing really well in your own personal battle and long may it continue.
Keep at it Freda, oh, and by the way do let us know how the busy bust week goes next week. Can't wait to hear.
Cheers
David
Hi Freda,
Ta for your post on my diary. No not away on hols yet - off for a week at end of August.
Just one (big) kid - on summer hols and hardly ever see her as she gets up about 4 hours after I go to work and has such a busy social life that she sometimes graces us with her presence at tea time then goes off to catch up on facebook or watch Big Brother - god, I hate that programme.We're off out together for an evening next week and that's a very rare occurence but I'm looking forward to it - I may be slightly biased but she's great really and the best thing that's ever happened in my life
I think we started on here about the same time and yes, I'm still weekend sinner on gg's and don't have the amazing willpower you have to abstain completely but feel things are back under control again - 7 weeks today - no roulette and still waves of temptation but I'm not going back there!
Your diary post sounded so cheerful today - don't think anyone's going to let you forget about your busy bust for a while!
Keep smiling and have a great weekend
Kay x
Hi guys,
Ok, so pretty much everyone has said DON'T talk about illness in your interview, lol. I agree it should be avoided at all costs.
HOWEVER, Im realistic. I haven't worked for almost 2 years, and they are bound to ask about the gap in my employment. I have no children, so cant say I was a full-time mum. I have 9 gcse's, 3 a levels, and a degree in Psychology - is it really believeable that Ive been looking for work for 2 YEARS with NO success?!
Anyone have a clue what to say the reason IS for not working for 2 years? Infact for doing NOTHING for at least 18 months? I was so poorly that I don't have anything to show for at least 18 months of my life as i couldn't have even coped with doing a free college course. Do you see my dilemma?
The only lies i can think of, are that I went travelling, or was nursing an elderly relative.
Im going to ask the boss at my vol job on Monday if she has any suggestions, as she interviews people all the time
Hi Freda,
I see your dilemma. Our stories are remarkably similar. I have A levels and a degree as you describe and didn't do full time paid work for 2.5 years. This was directly related to my gambling addiction. many months spent in rehab.. then i spent months doing nothing languishing in an empty flat gambling my benefits and then eventually I got into paid work via voluntary work first.
I think thats the best way of getting into work after having been out of work for quite a while. Volunteer at something else besides what you already do perhaps. Better to have vol work on the Cv than nothing.
Also i think that honesty is the best policy but just don't go into detail. Keep mental health issues brief and to the point... say things like..
"I made the choice to take time out of work to work through some personal issues and I now feel as if i am ready to get back into work"
The thing is... like the gambling.. people can see through lies whether we think we are convincing liers or not. Body language and behaviour gives it away. I think people have a healthy respect for honesty even when they might not like what they are hearing. I know for me that I do warm to people when they are honest with me... whatever they maybe be saying.
And yes ask your boss for some help as she knows you. All the best in recovery.. S.A 🙂
Really good advice SA, thank you sincerely.
I didnt mention that I got back into work last time through the honest approach. I did some voluntary work to demonstrate that Im able to cope with a work environment again, explained that Id been unable to work due to anxiety that had since been diagnosed and treated, and pointed out that if I was still nervously ill it would be obvious in an interview situation! I also pointed out that the company only had to give me one weeks notice if it didn't work out, so they had very little to lose. The woman interviewing me, commented that I did seem calmer than most people are when being interviewed. She accepted what I said, and gave me a chance.
So although I hear what you guys are saying about employers being biased, I think they'd be suspicious if I made something up. Im really good at creating a good first impression, due to having a knack for buttering people up and making them like me - so Im gonna be reasonably honest without making a big issue of it.
Freda (K)
One of the good things about this forum is that there is always someone who has 'been there before' or had very similar issues to handle.
Following your last post I must admit I was scratching my head as to what to suggest, then, SA posted on your diary and has given you some excellent advice based on personal experience.
Look forward to hearing how you get on.
David
Freda,
SA's advice was great wasn't it? I'm sure you will do well in the interview, whichever way you decide to play it.
Thanks so much for your support, I have been such a mardy pants this week, it is a bit embarassing, but I've done worse.
By the way, don't take the P**s out of me, I can dish it out but I can't take it, call me the Roy Keane of gambling if you will.
Thanks
DT
Had a nice afternoon with my Mam, and took her for her tea at Wetherspoons (classy).
Really productive day, getting on top of ironing and cleaning and all the boring stuff I've been putting off.
My mam doesn't know about my gambling, and bought me a lotto ticket at the shop :-/
Im gonna check it, but think it still counts as abstinence - cos I didn't choose to gamble, my mam did the gambling. I guess as long as it feels ok in my head, and doesn't feel like gambling its fine.
Two months ago, wouldn't even have been questioning the purchase of lottos so its all good.
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