Going to keep this thread now!

I think its day 42 today - not very good at working these things out! Last bet was on June 23rd so feel free to work it out for me, if you've nothing better to do, lol.

Woke very early at 5.45am have been faffing about on the internet for hours now.

Still getting twinges of pain in my stomach when I remember all the unpleasantness that was sent my way yesterday. My mind keeps trying to revert back to the subject.

Will meditate later to give my mind a rest. May go to the seaside, as seeing lots of little toddlers and beautiful dogs helps me to tap into my loving compassionate side. This gets a bit buried at times like this. Is nice to nudge your mind back to a more positive focus.

Might go to a local art group this afternoon, and out for tea with R tonight. Has anyone had the reggae chicken nachos at wetherspoons yet? o*g! gorgeous and only £2.59! My new addiction 🙂

Hmmmmmmm..Freda

Reggae chicken eh??? I will have to go and taste test them.

Like Jasmine says, we have a choice as to who and what we let near us. Although I always say to try and make amends for those around us, I also believe it needs to be healthy for ourselves.

You do what you think is right for You Freda.

First and foremost we must get ourselves better and learn to like/love ourselves. Sod the rest of them...at least for now 🙂

I'm sending you another big (((((((HUG)))))))))

Look at all the positives in your life to help you when you feel down.

Your other half, a home, health, the ability to go for a walk by the seaside and watch the world go by, Gamcare and us lot.

Let's get back to basics instead of wishing for the stars.

God Bless

Charly xx

Going back to your post at the top of the previous page, yes, you are very much great no matter what anyone says - hell, the amount of positive stuff you throw about to help out others on here after only 42 days clear yourself* is awesome, not many that are able to do that so you deserve your pat on the back.

Hope all the meditation is helping you feel a lot better again today!

* yes, I was nerdy enough to count 🙂

hiya freda

it was nice meeting u in the chatroom last nite as well. 6 weeks is one hell of a good effort pal. ur rite about the nachos, i like them with extra jalapenos, mmm!

be good

the bish x

Have had a great day today! Was at a Teddy Bears Picnic this morning at my vol job - very cute! Almost enough to make me broody - almost.

Then this afternoon, was at University of Sunderland to hear Dr. Chris Steele (him off Richard and Judy) talking about the role of the GP in Mental Health care. Didnt realise he'd had depression himself. He had some interesting statistics, apparently employers would prefer to see a criminal record in a job application than see a history of mental illness! not sure where he got that statistic from, but makes you realise the stigma that still goes with it. Also apparently in the UK, we donate 7 times as much money to animal charities as we do to mental health charities.

Knackered now though. Good to see the bad days are getting fewer and fewer. Havent even thought about gambling today. Also pleased to see Ive bounced back within 2 days from basically being told im a horrible selfish person who is making my dad ill. I think most 'normal' people would take a couple of days over that.

Hi Freda,

I'm glad you had a much better day today! You deserve it girl.

Thanks for checking me out too...and don't forget about the job offer.

Stay strong.....love from Jas xx

Morning Freda,

Just checking in to say hello and hope you are ok, cant believe you got me watching come dine with me the other night. (Quite enjoyed it).

Be Good.

DT

Hi Freda (K)

Thanks for your post on my diary, hope your ok, your last post sounded realy good. Your doing so well with your recovery.

take care, i'll be thinking of you! ands xx

Hi Freda

Glad to hear you have picked yourself up and are getting on with your life.

What is 'normal'?

We are all normal and unique at the same time. We just all have different agendas and ways of approaching life. We all have our own path to walk. Sometimes we go off that path to explore other routes, but in the end we all come back to our own path because we learn that it is the safest route to travel through life.

God Bless

YSIR(Your sister in recovery)

Charly xx

Found out today that my counsellor is going to be off sick until at least early September - so frustrating, as only had 2 sessions with her!

Can't be helped though, she is human like the rest of us. Have signed up on the waiting list for online counselling, as she was the only gambling counsellor for the 3 nearest cities and 1 town!

Feel good that Ive done my best, just have to accept that Im gonna have to wait. Felt a pang of guilt at first, when netline said the online counselling is mainly for people living in areas with no face-to-face counselling available. Then thought "well I do live in an area without that now, as the only counsellor is on long term sick!"

Big problem of mine is not asserting my needs, for fear of being a 'pest' or taking resources from those more in need. But you know what? with addiction counselling some people arent commited to long term change, and relapse quickly afterward. So theres no need to feel you are 'wasting' a space if you are serious about addressing your addiction.

Have to get it into my head that my needs are as important as anyone elses!

Hi Freda and yes your needs are just as important as everyone elses.

I have similar issues and i am working on them a day at a time. Putting myself 2nd and everyone else first is not the way forward. And unfortunately their are people out there with the exact opposite personality profile who will actively take advantage of unassertive people.

Stick up for yourself and what you want as best you can.. as i do the same for me. All the best in recovery.. S.A 🙂

Got a busy day today. Feeling a bit 'tested' at the moment. Taking more on, and although I havent felt overwhelmed am feeling the pull to slow down a wee bit!

Have decided am going to have a 'selfish week' and spoil myself! Am going to focus purely on myself, as I recognise Ive got a lot on my mind at the moment.

So apart from rambling on in my own diary, am going to use this site a bit less over next few days.

Hope everyone has a great week, and look forward to catching up with you all after Ive spoiled myself rotten, lol!

Today I will not gamble,

f x

Freda.

Good to hear that you are going to have some 'me' time, you deserve it and it shows that you are thinking clearly after a stressful time.

But who am I gonna take the P**s out of in chat?

Speak to you soon.

DT

It's good to be selfish!

Take it easy Freda and be strong.

Jas x

Morning Freda,

Hope you are ok.

DT