Here again!!!!!

Dear Silassad

well done on your gamble free days so far, sounds like you are doing brilliantly resisting the urges which can be so strong at times. The thing that is working for me is to take each day at a time,just for today I will not gamble.

wishing you all the best

Stux

Thanks Stu its great to have the support from people like yourself x

Well had an eventful day yesterday, ended up taking number 2 dog to the vets to have her cut pad looked at, got to have stitches in it today, she came back with a collar that looks like a rubber ring on and number 3 dog was terrified of it. Good job i paid all my pet insurance or else would have been looking at a vet bill over £200, but as long as shes ok thats all that matters. At least it kept my mind busy and not thinking of gambling, funny really when i mention that a vets bill would be £200 but i wouldnt think anything of chucking £200 into a slot machine!!!! Hope everyone had a good day yesterday and look forward to a gamble free day today 🙂

Morning Guys, didnt get chance to post on here yesterday, busy day at work and the boss was actually in for a change. Took number 2 dog to the vets for a check after her op, doing ok but i am just so exhausted from it all going back and forward. Trained number 3 dog on tuesday night which was actually surprisingly good, she hasnt done much agility training yet. My dogs do actually have names but my dad always calls me and my sister number 1 daughter and number 2 daughter after watching charlie chan films when i was younger!!!!!

taught my agility class last night, i worry so much that i am not good enough to teach them and doubt my ability all the time but i think they all enjoyed class, have a new doberman dog to teach, he is very bright and picked things up quick, people think dobermans are thick!!!!! Anyway enough rambling about dogs

Going to try to have more of a relaxing day today with no trips to the vets hopefully, looking forward to the weekend, going to my friends on saturday night, i promised them i would talk to them about my problems etc, not sure if i am reading to reveal all to them yet will see.

No gambling, not been counting the days but think its over 3 weeks, trying to think one day at a time rather than numbers.

Hope everyone is doing ok and staying gamble free, take care all 🙂

hey silassad

well done on your gamble free days- brilliant. It must be good to have a great interest like your dogs, I'm sure they keep you busy.

hope you have a good w/end

Stu

Thanks Stu always good to be hear from you, hope everything going well for you too 🙂

Well what a lovely morning it is, shame i have to be at work but no work means no money got a massive debt to pay back so have to put that at the back of my mind. Had a more peaceful day yesterday but another trip back to the vets today with number 2 dog, hopefully she will be better for our first proper competition of the year next weekend. I must admit had a few thoughts on gambling yesterday, i was sat in the garden with a brew, and thought how nice it would be to sit on laptop (which i dont have) and play a few slots, quickly went and did something else to get the thoughts out of my mind but i realise how easy it is for them to be there.

Looking forward to visiting my friends tomorrow night even though they think i am going to spill all about my problems but still not sure whether i am ready to do that yet, plus dont want to embarrass my hubby as i dont want them to think he is weak for putting up with me, because really he is strong to have not left. Boss has just arrived in office so got to go. take care all 🙂

Morning everyone, well had a bit of a mixed weekend really. My depression gets to me sometimes so badly a couldnt give a hoot about life etc, felt a bit down all last week but managed to keep it at bay, had a really nice friday. Took number 2 dog to the vets, then called at mums. Had a loveley tea outside and then a nice evening sitting in the garden with hubby and the dogs. Went to my friends saturday night with all the intention of telling them about my gambling etc but there wasnt a right time, maybe thats me bottling it i am not sure but in one way i felt frustrated that i hadnt said anything, this is me being selfish again no doubt. Got back home and ended up having a small row with hubby about something so trivial, then felt like cr** the next day. Normally would have got up and gone on the pc and gambled all day but no i did resist this( dont have pc anymore but could have found a way) but sat watching tv all day not wanting to speak to anyone and i dont even like watching tv that much. Still dont feel like i can shift it, head all over the place. I have resisted the temptation to go on anti depressant as i grew up with my mum being addicted to them and with such an additive personality not sure its the right thing. they stopped my counselling sessions as they would only fund so many, a friend has advised herbal treatment so might look at that.

The worries over things just seem to build up, number two dog injuring herself which cost a bit with the insurance excess, living with the IVA doesnt give much room for these things and hubby doesnt seem to help much with financial things. I do bottle things up which i know isnt good but i just want someone to ask me how things are and how i feel and he doesnt do that. i think he is scared of how to handle it all. I read the family and friends section alot to try to understand from his side, i wish he would open up like they have but he wont. God i am rambling today sorry for this.

Take care everyone 🙂

Hey Lisa

sorry to hear that the weekend didn't work out as you had hoped. But well done for staying gamble free, I know it wasn't easy- when life gets tough we want to run back to the gambling but its a false security isn't it. The gambling has such a deep effect on those we love, your husband is probably trying to deal with it as best he can but its so hard for our loved ones isn't it.

Take care, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Its a new day today- just for today I will not gamble.

Stux

Thanks Stu for your kind words

Feeling a little brighter today, been busy at work so far, trying to stay focused.

Number 2 dog has been ruled out of the competition on sunday which i am gutted about, so number 1 dog will take her place but still looking forward to our first proper competition and the weekend away in the caravan.

Agility training tonight should help perk me up a bit, no gambling so thats good.

Try to get through today, look forwards not backwards

Take care 🙂

Morning everyone, my emotions are so up and down this week, head feels like its spinning today, cant concentrate.

No Gambling, only a few thoughts yesterday as i was busy at work, enjoyed agility training with number 3 dog she is picking it up well. Teaching tonight, enjoy it most of the time but when my head is in the clouds it becomes a bit of a chore but it pays for my own classes so needs must.

Try to stay focused today thats what i need, i will read a few diaries.

Take Care 🙂

Silassad,

keep up the great work and keep your mind busy on other things, firstly it will keep your mind away from gambling, and secondly the enjoyment you will get from such will far outweigh with with a complete contrast in end result. Stay strong and focused!!

Phil

Thanks Phil for your kind words, trying to keep busy, just so hard when you work most of the time on your own to keep motivated.

Lisa 🙂

Well havent been on for a few days as we had our first agility competition of the year, a bit mixed with the results, number 1 dog had two wins but a few bad runs but the surprise was number 3 dog who was only standing in for number 2 as she is injured got a 4th & 6th place and was brill, she hasnt done much training so i was so pleased. It is just so hard as if my past hadnt been my past i.e. gambling all my money away i would be able to train her every week but at the moment only number 2 dog has training, maybe one day when the mountain of debt has gone down i will be able to afford it. Stay positive. Not sure if anyone actually reads my diary so if you do i apologize for rambling on about my dogs all the time!!!!!!! No gambling thoughts, didnt normally if i was away in the caravan before, but back in work feeling ok, gone over a month without gambling, not counting the days as still just taking one day at a time.

Hope everyone ok and keep fighting them demons

Take Care 🙂

Not much to report today, no gambling which is good but feel a bit down again, think i really need a holiday if i could afford one, maybe just try and get a few days away in my caravan.

Hope every one is ok 🙂