Here goes again... The final assault!

Thanks fish.

155 days free now.  No gambling compulsions.

Am I stabilising?  Not sure.  Mind still all over the place but no where near as bad as when gambling.  No more sick feeling in there pit of my stomach.  Long may it continue!

All the best wishes all

165 days GF now.  Absolutely no gambling compulsions at all.

This is amazing.  I wanted to take some time out this morning to really reflect on how incredible this is.  The the torture of last year and the previous 20!

I actually feel free of it.

I have recently given up alcohol as well.  This has been just as hard but I now know they were all coping strategies for bigger things.

Lost a total of 10kg of fat since quitting gambling.  Now fit in clothes without them leaving marks 😂.  Sleeping better.  Don't have the sense of dread at looking at my bank balance.

I am still not healed. I don't want access to money.  However I'm in a much better place.

Good luck all with your personal journeys.

@thebean Hi bean

Lovely to read this and well done on your continued commitment to remaining g.f 👏👏👏👏.

Looking at our healthier bank balance and being able to sleep better, are just two of the most rewarding things of no longer gambling 👌. Congratulations too on giving up alcohol - my son did the same a year last November!

Have a lovely Sunday 😎.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Congrats  Bean!

Is it 184 days now?!?  No gambling urges.  Haven't drank for 4 weeks now.  The longest in my life having drank on a daily basis for years.

It's not easy.  My brain is always looking for escapism.  But getting there.

All the best everyone 

@thebean Great stuff 😉 😉

@thebean Brilliant bean 👏👏👏👏👌

192 days gf.

No urges to gamble.  Though the debt is still there.

I kicked alcohol.

I'm just being unfiltered here as it's a safe space.  I stupidly embarked on a relationship with someone at work...  All because I enjoyed the attention from someone younger and very attractive..  When I got the attention it was amazing, I didn't think about gambling and I didn't need to drink.

The 'relationship' is cooling off now and my mind is already craving alcohol or other distractions.

Why am I always chasing dopamine?  Through gambling or anything else?

I should be happy.  I literally have everything any guy could want?  Beautiful wife, amazing kids I just always have a self destruct button I'm ready to press!

As always.  I'll try and clear up the latest mess I have created.  Fealing the emotional fallout though.

Please don't hate me.  I already hate myself enough for us both.