Hope to All! Be Truthful.

thanks for posting will...so like the situation i am in...looking back you can say tell your loved one...but you know how difficult this is..have you stopped gambling? how is your relationship today?

Sounds like you have made a great recovery.

I know i will never gamble again..and i will fight it everyday if i must.

Tell my wife now...is more difficult.

Best Wishes

micheal42

Top advice Will. It is bad enough being a cg but being a secretive lying to the wife type of cg is a non-starter in my book-if you decide to stop.

I have been reading a number of persons storys and yes Micheal yrs i felt is very simular to mine! I havent gambled since that day i told the Wife and dont get an urge to pop into *** or Casino either! Wheather or not i would have come clean if i had got my hands on more funds i dont know!.Lookin back if my parents had lent me the brass im sure because the wife didnt know of my Gambling then at some stage i would have continued!jepardisin my parents home.

each month now i show my wife my wageslip pay my direct debts,mortgage ect and a few days before the next pay day show her what ive left.The feeling you get now from still having a £100 left on this day is amazing and it goes in the holiday pot.

what i do know is i was given a chance to keep my home,job and Dignity. If you love yr Wife id tell her she probably is the only one who can help you! it will be hard but if you still have a chance of keepin 2 out of the 3 i mention above then itl be worth it! if she decides thats it im sure that judgin by how you sound youl be determined to win her back!

Hi Will

I like you last couple of lines about telling your wife and if she decides enough is enough then win her back.The love doesnt disappear in an instantIts just the hurt of it.I think you are right they would be P***** off with us ,but we have time to prove to them we are serious .All the best Jeff.

Although i still feelin low on certain days and ashamed in what i did what spurs me on is i can continue my recovery and watch my son grow up with no Gambling enviroment around!I feel my marriage has gone back 10 years to when we first got hitched and we are in love again with no deceat!

I would have blow in access of 180k if i had continued blowing what i was doing for the next 30 years and so the debts i have seem to mean not so much a problem!

I just pray good health gets me there and i can one day look back and remember the day that changed my life! 246 days now clean from Gambling and counting.

Hi All,I'm really glad I've found my last Post.

Can't quite believe the date! Truth is whilst trying to encourage others I have slipped back into the old ways! Recently I don't know why I felt I had the urge but im back gambling. It Started a few months back gradually moving from sneaking into whereever putting a odd football bet on to now playing Roulette! For 3 months i was steady winning bits and managed to accrue £300 in my locker at work. My wife's in control of all my accounts and gives me money when i need clothes ect but unfortunately a few months back a new Card came with pin! I first lost my little bit of brass I'd accrued but this last 2 weeks iv started again drawing cash. Today its hit me! Why oh why! Iv a lovely wife and family who's helped me so much over the last 2 weeks with my problem! How can I do it! I've drew £1200 in this time,luckily today it's not allowing no more Cash withdrawals.! Iv phoned the company to see when my Bill comes and now Iv got to make sure I get it. I'm confident in beating this illness again. Iv been given a chance before and by continuing my diary I'm going to post whenever I can to hopefully stop anybody else in the position I'm in doing the same mistake.£1200 isn't much compared to what Iv lost in the past you might but I'm lying awake again lying awake ashamed in what Iv done. Day 1 starts today. Here goes!

Hi Will

I'm only 21 and while there is no doubt that my addiction has ran my life for the last three years I can't pretend to have lost what you have (probably due to age) but the compulsion is definitely in me. I know it's the hardest thing in the world and probably really hypocritical of me to say as my family don't know about my problem. You have what everyone dreams of. A beautiful supportive wife who stuck by you at your lowest point. You said three years ago that it was when you revealed everything to her you managed to begin recovery. Maybe if you told her now while it isn't catastrophic she might have the same effect. Don't let it get to the point where your in so deep that your forced to tell her. Let her in again. She sounds like an amazing woman and I'm sure in the long run she'd be grateful that you told her at a stage when she might be able to help. Your story has really touched me Will and I wish u all the luck in the world and if you want to talk my diary's called ''Diary of a Slotty girl'. This is my day 1 as well so maybe we can encourage each other. We might be at completely different stages but we're both addicts with the same weakness. The three years you achieved are amazing don't forget them. This recent gambling has to be a blip not a complete relapse. please keep me informed of your progress.

With admiration and support

Becky

(Scampimus)

Hi will

Wow what a powerful diary was really touched by ur story like u I knew when enough was enough and stopped gambling I thought I had beat gambling but like u I relapsed the great thing is u av quickly realised ur mistake and the damage is limited , I feel relapsing is part of the process and the learnings from it helped me to become so much stronger and determined , u know u don't want to go back to where u were , u av a loyal wife and son in ur life u don't need me to tell u that u cud lose them both by carrying on gambling , don't beat urself up bout ur relapse but be proud of how long u were gamble free , I admire u for ur honesty by admitting ur relapse on one likes to fail but honesty is the best policy and take strength from this u can do this and everyone on here will support u

Best wishes on ur recovery

Castle2

Hi Again friends, Day 2- was Wednesday its my 2nd rest day of work today and i was joined at home by my Wife.Took son to school,took dog out and returned home to her! hit the Gym and treated ourself to the Toby carvery before gettin back to pick Son up from school,settled down watched Tv and had an early night which was restless to say the least but lay awake thinking of fellow Diary users that I'd read the previous evening.

Day 3-started early up at 5.30 to help the wife get ready for work,seen her off and started on the house Got young un up and packed off to school and returned home to do choirs.no intention of going out as Iv no money and can't get any! Took my Son and his team footy training before returning home at 19.00.

Big plus today-brought to my wife's attention that I had £825 in my bank! Although she has all my cards I have managed to draw cash out through the passport and bill method in the past! Iv no cash to draw now as thats been moved into her account and the holiday fund account.Although again laying here wide awake at 1am I can reflect on the fact no damage was done yesterday,i managed to balance transfer the £1400 I had previously drawn also. Reading these diarys are really helpin,we are all battling our demons in different ways! Really sad news on Mark passing away! Hopefully a inspiration to us all! Best try and get some kip! Chat soon.

Day 4 - up late due to reading Diarys all night but another day is out the way! Got up,did school run ,Visited Gym walking past two old haunting joints.have no cards to do any damage thank god also managed to resist temptation of spending my ten pound or so of cash in them.

I do feel still like gambling but my wife mentioned last night shed checked my bank!its a good thing knowing that due to the fact I can get cash out via passport method if need be! if I did questions will be asked on where my money's going which I can't answer for! Good luck again all! Keep strong!

It must be a good feeling being able to walk past old haunts knowing that they are not going to take any more money from you.

GT

Sounds like it's going well. Congrats!

Becky

Day 5-up at 06.30 and back to work today! Due to the good whether had a few last night and abit worse for where! Nice to have a few but does play on yr mind though afterwords thinking about the position I'm in and felt low.

I've now got £25 on me from last night and although thinking about a fixed odds bet i resisted the temptation to do so! I do Feel good about this but the decision was easier due to not having to walk past a shop to get to to work! The wife's off work also and this tends to stop me gambling with the thoughts of being seen in a shop. Harder days are in the week when I'm on late shifts and she's at work.

Another day gone though. I Satdown and worked out to today that I've now payed of 8k of debt in 2 years(was 9200k until last week) which does pick me up again. I tried my Cc in the machine today and it allows cash again due my balance transfer, again 1200 in avalible again.just shows how easy it is for us to do it to ourselfs doesn't it! Didn't draw on it and didn't want to.

This diary is helping me big time

Thanks again folks for the encouragement

Keep strong.

Back to work in 2 hours so better try and get another hour.

Hi Will

Congrats on day 5 and enjoy the sunshine.

Becky