Hope

morning buddy!!

Rodders 'e*e...

just to say; really pleased everything is going so well for you. You've always struck me as a strong person,

this week have got next to nothing to do....three nights off n xmas decorations to put up....a few more years of this n maybe just maybe...I'll be on ther right track.

cheerz Rodders!

168 days...free of my dogs n no visits to the dreaded park!! page 37 diary

Hi SA, thanks for dropping by my diary, always there when needed. Peace has broken out in our household, agreements reached on the lottery. But I agree wholeheartedly with your comments. But this is AH's recovery from gambling and I have to respect it. Maybe after his counselling he may see things differently. But that could be a long way off.

This stew your making, sounds good, room for one more, cyber guest coming your way.......By the way, I drink lemonade.

Well done on another week, take care. Love Ostrich x

ps Jerusalem artichoke on the menu this week.

Hi Ostrich.. the stew went down a treat..three empty plates... one cyber plate dished up also and glass of lemonade of course... enjoy! 🙂

Am just back from the gym.. havent been for about 2 weeks due to being unwell.. its good to be back.. not only does it help my fitness but prob also good for lowering blood pressure and just generally calming my anxieties. Managed 9.16 km's in one hour which was far from my best but thats not the point. its just good to get back into that workout routine.

Today i have no ailments, no ulcers, no backache, no headache, no weakness.... just wellness.. long may it last lol

Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

hi sa thankyou for the post not been posting much myself but you sound as if you are at a good place at the moment long may it contnue . just spoted you last gambil was on the 25 may can i just say well done i would say it dose get a bit better as time passes but it always seems to be at the back of my mind gamblin that is .do you still get urges i do even after 8 mths or have you shut it out im just intrested to know take care for now and stay strong steve

Hi steve,

Have replied to you on your thread.. probably in tooo much detail..but that is sometimes the way with me lol

Today has been a good day..busy at work..but good busy..felt like i acheived and did my bit..and thats a nice feeling. Not a great deal else to say today. Am just feeling steady in myself..am just checking in to the site and to my diary.. keeping doing the things that keep me away from that first bet.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

Hi S.A.

Just read a posting by you on another thread and it gave me such a lift. You mentioned purchasing a nice jumper and I imagined myself in a type of christmas advert on TV. A nice feeling for me as oppossed to the self destructive old me.

Thanks

Steve E

Your welcome Steve.. you saying that has got me smiling 🙂

My friend when he texts me..he always says.. smile life is good 🙂

Today has been a good day.. nothing major to report.. a few grumbles.. a few annoyances amongst other feelings of well being.. just more emotions that I have to manage. I manage them without turning to gambling to take the edge off. I feel as if I am in touch with and facing reality and you know what.. it isnt really that bad at all.. just a bit rough round the edges sometimes.. but i cope.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

Hi SA, I know what you mean about the advertising, I just never noticed it before. It seems that every day I notice something different and its always such a surprise. I really should take my head out from up my a**. I always expect the best of people and am shocked if they don't live up to expectation. Considering I'm not 21 I'm really very nieave and not street wise.

Glad you are coping, you've taught me a lot these last few weeks, thank you. Love Ostrich x

Hiya SA,

Good to see all is going A OK for you 🙂 Thanks for your continued support. Your posts have inspired me to get to a happier place and I hope that when I get to six months like you I will have nice positive things happening. Wishing you more good days ahead.

Del xxx

I can feel the tiredness creeping up on me as this week goes by.. though am mostly in good spirits.. moments of contentment even. Now i could never say that when i was gambling! 🙂 Today I bought new trainers and got myself a smart haircut.. felt nice to be in a position to do that.

A refection for the day.

Sometimes I find myself (in my thoughts atleast) wanting other people to come around to my way of thinking or to act in a way that i would like.. Its controlling like behaviour.. and its at times like this where i have to step back and think...

I cannot control others and nor should i try to do so.. these are my wants, my needs, my thoughts, my feelings, my issues, my need to feel in control... largely due to my own insecurities and low self-esteem. I must work in co-operation with other people for the greater good.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

Its been a good day, busy and productive. No urges or thoughts of gambling. Am tired but feeling good in myself.. long may it continue. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

Hey S.A,

Firstly excellent work, keep it up. It's been nearly 7 weeks free for me and it's inspiring and encouraging to know there's others like yourself who are further down the path than me.

Note what you said in your last post about controlling behaviour. This is a problem I share also, and it's only been brought to my attention this week. I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that I am a controlling person, but being aware of the problem has caused me to notice me trying to control people at work (and the misery my behaviour causes for me and others). This alone has been a big step in the right direction I feel and hopefully I can get to the point where I feel truly in myself that there's no point in even trying to change people, and that instead I should be focussing on trying to change me and making me a better person.

This reply was longer than I planned. Hope it's not too preachy!

All the best and keep up the good work.

James

HI SA, hope you have a good weekend, be nice to yourself. No plans for exoctic veg this week. Out most of Saturday and no time to shop. Shame! Off to see Status Quo saturday with a friend. Gonna have fun. Take care, Love Ostrich x

Am having a good day. 🙂

When I was gambling I looked like a right state..old tatty trainers, thread bare clothes, unkempt hair.. all because i chose to gamble my money rather than to look after myself.

Now that i dont gamble.. I have several pairs of quality trainers and shoes, some decent good quality clothes and a haircut that suits me ( or so i think anyway lol)

Also thanks to not gambling.. my council tax and water rates are both paid up to the end of March and I have no new credit card debts or loans or over drafts. I also have savings.. not alot but enough for a rainy day.

Dont get me wrong am not gloating in anyway.. it just helps me to do this compare and contrast.. remind myself how far I have come since I was crippled with debt and feeling suicidal.

To anybody who is reading this and thinking I woosh I was in his shoes I would say this.. the stability I have found for myself now has taken "time and patience"...and on-going effort with lots of ups and downs. Who knows I may lose my job next week and be back on a tight budget but whatever happens I know that my life will not improve in anyway shape or form with gambling as a part of it

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

A nice post S.A. and very well put. We are all hoping to gain some serenity that you appear to have. I know sometimes the road can be rocky but without gambling it is not all bad.

By the way I have a haircut suitable for radio.

Take care

Steve E