Hope

SA

Fella just a quick line to congratulate you on your continued abstinence.

Glad that work is not having the detrimental effect that it did before.

Funny the pub for me is a rarity,seldom go, choosing to drink at home on the rare occasion I do have a pint, this for two reasons, firstly I enjoy real ale or cider that few pubs serve and secondly the price of a pint compared to the price of a couple of bottles to drink at home are worlds apart.

On a good note the one pub I do like is a real spit and sawdust place and there are no flashing lights to tempt the addiction to the fore, looking at it maybe that is a decision my rational brain makes.

Enjoy that run fella

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 518 or 74 weeks with not a penny gambled.

Thanks fellas.

A good run yesterday... 15 miles in 2 hours 10 mins. Other wise I have been idle which seems a ridiculous thing to say but if I didn't go for that run I could quite easily have spent the last 2 days lying in bed eating, drinking and surfing the web.

My addiction likes it when am idle and demotivated and in truth a few gambling thoughts circulate in my mind. I am also slowly getting more worried about work and lack of. Best to acknowledge these thoughts and set them free. It might seem a strange thing to say but even after 74 weeks off it am still on my gambling merry go round except that its a very big merry go round and if it carries on getting bigger I might not reach the point on the "round" where I actually gamble... but you never know!

As I sometimes write the best thing is to get off the merry go round altogether but with me it feels like it will take an act of god or a eureka moment or something truly unforeseen for that time to arrive. In the mean time I just carry on carrying on... whatever the weather.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Day 520... Difficult morning, thoughts of gambling... need to get a grip. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Hi S.A. - Hang on in there! I've just been reading through your Diary and am full of admiration for your tenacity through some very bad times, and here you are at Day 520 - what an achievement! It will be Day 52 for me tomorrow and you are an inspiration for me to times that x 10!

Best wishes and hope you day ends better than it started...

Joanna

Hey SA,

Fantastic achievement my friend!! Hang in there, c**P days will pass and more lovely and uplifting ones will come into your life.

Stay safe and focused, you are doing great!! Keep it up 🙂

All the best and keep running, I'm right behind you 🙂

Sandra x

Hi SA,

Well done on that 520, and I hope that those thoughts of gambling are stamped out before they can take hold. You mentioned a few of the people who you know that are struggling at the moment, you know where the wrong choices lead.

You knew that the work would be less coming in to the Easter period, you mentioned it a few weeks ago. I hope that it will pick up now the school holidays are drawing to a close, and you can get back to normal, or as normal as things can be for us CGs.

Well done on completing fifteen miles...that is a bloody long way however you look at it!

All the best

Ryan

Day 521 gambling free and thanks for your support all.

Well I didn't do anything stupid yesterday, gambling wise anyway. Just wish I could find my way forward in life, particularly my work life, cos that would could be a spring board in other areas of my life.

In some respects am completely demotivated and yet am prepared to cycle for miles to earn a little money. If someone handed me 10k on a gold platter I'd be quite happy just to spend my time pottering around and going running and going to events and writing on here and other places. I'd make a good retired person.

Don't get me wrong am not lazy in work. I am conscientious and usually do more than I technically need to do but am lazy when it comes to looking for new work. I want a better quality of life and yet I do very little about it.

One of the ways I escape nowadays is by being knackered all the time. Am either cycling miles or running miles and then collapsed in a heap lying in my pit and when your knackered you (I) don't have to take a look at the bigger picture. Better to be running/cycling than gambling though.

Taking things day at a time as always. Thanks for listening... S.A

SA

Fella glad to see those gamble free days adding up,even more glad to see you did'nt cash them in!!

We know the exchange rate.

Self loathing,misery,financial loss and a huge mind f**k.

No great value in that.

I think we all need to take a step back at times and review the way we approach things,for me all too often in my life I have thrown myself at work without thinking about how it will affect my life,ending in me loathing what it gifts in return.

Recovery has without doubt brought a change in thinking.

I work to live today,where my whole gambling life I lived to work,more times than not to either fund addiction or dig myself out of another whole created by it!!

Funny as too retirement is something I never thought about until very recently,I never made a pension,living without a future,another feature of my prolonged gambling.

We can make better decisions about life today,starting with those three incredible words

NO BET TODAY

Duncs stepping forward never back

Post deleted.

Day 523 gambling free and thanks Duncs you make a lot of sense.

I remain gamble free and that's what matters

Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Hi SA

You are bang on with that last post, gambling may push us back and may start to weasel its way back into our thoughts, but the key is not to yield. Well done on overcoming those thoughts that were playing on your mind the other day, and adding to the hundreds of correct choices you have made since quitting gambling.

I have often thought that when I am debt free and have built up a little nest egg of money, I might go self employed and write for a living, but like you mention I suspect I would be lazy in terms of chasing up work to keep the money coming in.

Keep your chin up mate, and keep running, whether it is towards work or just pounding the streets.

Ryan

Day 525, otherwise known as 75 weeks without a penny having been gambled. Another small milestone. But then every day is a milestone really. Every day without gambling is a day to be treasured.

Thank you Ryan. You seem to understand what makes me tick and what I need to keep doing to keep gambling away.

Its been a strange week. Moments of panic when I thought I'd not get any work at all and then suddenly its been really intense the last couple of days. Up at 4.30 a.m yesterday out at 5.30, cycling in the rain, sitting with some autistic kid by 7.15 then working right through till 9 P.m and home after 10... I was f****d by the end of it lol

On a positive you get fed well and with it being such a long shift it gets the money in.

Its not sustainable mind, its a very insecure and physically and mentally exhausting way to earn a living. But at the end of the day I do what I have to do to get through and keep a roof over my head. Also I'd prefer to be in my shoes than my mates shoes, both of whom are gambling and both of whom are in rent arrears.

Today I cycling over to my mates to give him the money that ive been looking after for him, cos the money he had he's gambled. Its also that his priorities are warped (in my opinion). Instead of using what money he does have to start reducing his rent arrears, he wants to go and play snooker with someone else he knows. I don't really understand his mind set but its his life, I'm not his keeper. He is doing some lunch.. I will eat it 🙂

Thanks for listening folks... S.A

Day 531 gambling free and I am happy not to be gambling, that is enough.

My life is very out of balance but I am not complaining. I am fully independent and not reliant on the state or the generosity of others for life's essentials.

I am not frittering my money away on spinning reels, scratch cards or the outcome of 49 balls bouncing around in a globe. The money I earn is spent on rent or bills or food or is put aside as savings for a rainy day. I am responsible for myself, no one else.

This week I have not been reading or posting much as I have been getting up with the larks cycling for miles, doing a days work, cycling home and on at least one occasion when I got home I had a lie down and when I woke up it was 11 o'clock at night. Having said this I'd rather be over tired because of work and cycling than over tired because of standing in front of slot machines for hours on end.

My life is not easy but like I said at the start of this post, am not complaining. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi S.A,

My life is currently out of balance too. You are right though, gambling does not make it any less complicated or stress free in fact, the opposite. Here, and always listening ((((S.A)))) -joan

Hi there

the sun has definitely come up today so hope you are making best use of it and having a relaxing time. So good to be outside rather than in a stuffy room with artificial lights watching spinning reels.

xxx