Hope

Day 504 otherwise known as 72 weeks without a penny gambled.

I still have many potential and actual triggers that I could use to justify further gambling. In no particular order they include.. money worries, work stress, self-esteem (lack of), self confidence (lack of), boredom, loneliness, frustrations (of all kinds) and so the list continues... but the thing is, deep down I am really beginning to believe that things have a habit of working out as long as I don't gamble my money away.

Running is a saviour for me... 8 miles today in exactly 1 hour 8 mins. I am currently an 8 min 30 man and I can sustain that for 13 to 14 miles if its not hilly.

Thanks for listening folks... S.A

Day 506 gambling free.

Well today and yesterday has just been work and cycling and filling my face with enough tuna pasta to feed a family of four.. and I wonder why ive still got a bit of a belly.

No thoughts of having a gamble, but vaguely aware that the 2 weeks over Easter might be a lean period work wise, but rent is ahead so am not overly worried and it will also give me a chance to do other things.

Got my nephew exactly what he wanted for his birthday, something I would not have been able to afford if I was gambling. Onwards....

Thanks for listening... S.A

SA

Fella good to see life is treating you well.

To have taken the sh#it that was your previous job out of the equation is showing it's rewards.

Keep making the right choice.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi SA,

Even though work may get lean over the next couple of weeks, just imagine how bad it would be if you were gambling. By not gambling you can plan ahead for this kind of bump in the road, and just enjoy a little more time to yourself. Good work on the running too...eight miles in 1.08 is really good pace. Hope there aren't too many *** to come.

All the best,

Ryan

Hi matey,

Thanks for your post and your continued support on my diary, it is always nice logging in and seeing a post from you. You have been there from day one, which I appreciate very much.

I very much hope you are well and life is treating you well....running 8 miles in that time pretty impressive, would take me about 5 hours, lol.

Anyways enough of my silly dribble.

Take care mate and thanks again, ands

Day 510 with not a penny gambled in that time.

Its been a very tiring week with epic amounts of cycling to work and back. Yesterday was very frustrating. What normally happens is that I leave to cycle to work and during the cycle I get a call to confirm that I am in. Yesterday I am nearly at work and no call... so I thinks am not in today. Anyway I shrug my shoulders and think "well never mind, this was bound to happen sooner or later" (its the nature of agency work) and I cycles home.

Anyway am nearly home and I get a call saying "can I go in" and yes I will get paid for the whole day, so I says ok and turns my bike around and heads all the way back. Its now after ten and am knackered and then when I get to the class am covering the staff aren't best pleased that am late. Of course I know its not my fault that am late but cos the class is busy and chaotic there isn't a chance to explain and in any case I don't suppose they were the least bit interested anyway.... so I take it on the chin and smile politely.

I do what I have to do to earn money. But if this isn't a good motivator to start looking for something permanent I don't know what is.

As for gambling, it really wouldn't change anything would it? The only solution is to deal with lifes problems and not run away from them.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Day 511 or 73 weeks gambling free.

Poor old Mo Farrah, he can only do a marathon in 2 hours and 8 minutes and he didn't break the British record at his first attempt! Awful just awful!! lol 😉

I managed 9 miles in 1 hour 17 and was happy enough with that. Its all relative isn't it.

I had a rather desperate call from my mate I went through rehab with some ten years ago. He's gambled himself into a corner again, serious rent arrears, pay day loans, even sold his telly at *** ***. Nothing I can do to help really am just a listening ear.

No gambling for me. Thanks for listening... S.A

There but for the grace of god, and more importantly your own will and resolve...

I can understand Mo Farah feeling almost superhuman after what he has achieved over the last few years, maybe he needs one of the slaves of Julius Caesar, jogging behind him whispering "Remember, You are mortal". Marathon has never been the British forte, and even our highest achiever in recent years Paula Radcliffe was never really that successful at it. Eighth is a d**n good result in my eyes.

Keep up the good work mate, 9 miles in 1.17 is still around four hour pace for a marathon, and I know a few guys who would happily rip your legs off and sow it to their bottom half for that kind of time.

Well done mate,

Ryan

Hi SA,

Good to log on and see your days building up. Really inspiring to read and very well done on the running!!!! I start getting back on track wiv that one, seems like waking up from deep winter sleep lol will soon get back into running routine 🙂

Keep it up and be proud!!!

S x

Day 513 gambling free... and thanks Ryan and Sandra 🙂

Am wanting to sleep a lot at the moment. Work has dried up now the school Easter hols have arrived. Need to motivate myself to look for work but struggling to do so. It doesn't matter in the immediate future because rent is well ahead but I maybe storing up financial problems down the road.

Also with more time on my hands, my addiction has woken from its slumbers and is wagging its tail. I need to keep on my guard and remain vigilant. Am thinking of going to G.A tonight, I haven't been for more than 2 years... now seems like a good time to go. Top up my resolve face to face.

Live is not easy but nobody said that it was?? Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

As you know, time to kill is the biggest challenge for us, hope your running and cycling keeps you busy until the work picks up again. GA seems like a good idea, its not been a step I've ever taken but I can only imagine positive steps that will come from it.

Life may not be easy, but its definitely easier than it was when we had to spend a tenner on food for the week to make sure there was enough money left over to gamble.

Keep going mate,

Ryan

Hey SA,

Very nice to hear from you and even better t read I gave I some motivation to post too 🙂

You must be very tired with all that cycling and work you do. I hope u can catch up with some well deserved rest.Your body needs good sleep so don't worry about that, like me, I'm still at work and would give a lot t b able to go to sleep now lol..Head can start playing up while we r tired, all sorts of tricks, usually not to healthy for us..hey ho..you just go and go..moving on, getting rid of negative thoughts...and next thing - it's home time!! :-))

Really hope you attended GA last night and ur guard is back up stronger than before ..as Ryan just said..too much time on our hands can work the same way as over tiring. ..and it's not healthy...d**n lol..I really don't sound very happy today eh lol ..better move on..just thought I share my thoughts about tiredness and sleep :-))

Great stuff on g free time, inspiring as always!! Keep it up and be proud

Day at a time

S x

Thank you Ryan and Sandra 🙂

Day 516... otherwise known as exactly 17 months without a penny spent on gambling. Another small milestone in an on-going journey.

Its been a mixed week. I had a lovely day earlier in the week with the fine weather and then been working the last couple of days. Am back to feeling exceptionally tired. I spent yesterday clearing up P**s and s**t from a child who likes to smear himself in his own pooh. Nice! lol I wasn't that bothered to be honest, the shift passes quickly when your busy. better to be doing that than hanging around doing f**k all.

Gambling hasn't featured. Why would I want to spend my hard earnt money feeding it in to some machine...?? for entertainment only as the gambling companies would have us believe!

It crosses my mind about how "gently" my bank balance goes up and down when am not gambling (or otherwise throwing my money away through other mindless activities, like drunkenness). I can't believe I lived this way for so long.

I decided not to meet my ex-work colleague down the pub last night. He's a big drinker and a heavy gambler (though not completely out of control like most of us on gamcare). I actually find going to the pub quite boring. Don't get me wrong its nice to have a catch up and chat with mates but I soon find myself just sitting there pint in hand thinking...mmmm flashing lights...and mmmm getting P****d... and then its all down hill from then on... the addictive mind sets in. As always I look forward to a good long run this Easter.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Always good to hear from you SA and well done on the 17 months.

I appreciate I am not alone in not having a great weekend and I'm not looking for sympathy, don't deserve any. I do really wish I could spend it gambling though. It still irks that I found a great enjoyable time consuming hobby perfect for a loner like myself but couldn't control it and bet in moderation.

To be honest I feel I am at a worrying point in my recovery and my life in general. I know I won't go back to random gambling but when I said I had researched to death over the last few years for something to replace it and fill my time and give me a buzz and satisfaction I really meant it - there's just nothing.

I hoped for all the world that I would be proved wrong and others proved right when they said my life would improve and things would become clearer after I stopped my area of problem gambling. But my own feelings have been correct, my recovery and abstinence from different types of gambling happened over a long period simultaneous to deep analysis of myself and my options.

I am really concerned that life has nothing left to offer me and this comes through more strongly at holiday times.

Enjoy your running. I am back to doing a bit myself but very restricted in comparison to your standard.

Hi SA,

Thanks for stopping by my thread, your kind comments and tolerance for my quoting Springsteen are appreciated.

Don't worry about carrying a little excess around with you when you're running or cycling, the important thing is actually doing the exercise as opposed to becoming super slim or athletic. Glad you enjoyed the start of the week, spending some time in the sun makes all the difference to your outlook doesn't it? Congrats on hitting the 17 months gamble free, its a heck of an achievement, and well worth a celebratory...run? 😉

I'm sorry you don't enjoy going down the pub, I must admit I see it the opposite way. I do love heading down the pub with the lads, grabbing a few pints, watching the rugby and generally feeling almost normal for a while. However, Captain's sentiments about what life has left to offer being amplified during the holidays rings true here too.

I'm sorry, I've rambled again.

Anyhow, All the best mate,

Ryan