Hope

Hi S.A

I read what you put on danm's diary and you sound very much like my bro in your personality. he really has in 2 weekd become more open (not a lot) but just better at communicating...even i it is with a tone sometimes...I really believe this is due to his counselling. I know eveyones different and what works for one may not work for another but I reckon you should give it a go ya know.

Just my humble opinion.

x

Hi Yg.. I can be very open.. its a question of feeling comfortable with the person I am talking with. If my stress levels are high I become mute.. I guess for others they become chatter boxes. Ive been through counselling and explored the deeper issues and have a level of self-awareness. Further counselling I would not turn down but I think the hard work of counselling comes afterwards and thats putting what I have learnt about myself into practice. making my life a bit more meaning ful.. thats the bit I find hard.

Anyway today..Ive had a mixed day.. was quite enjoying it until at work alot of demands were suddenly placed upon me in a short space of time.. i got well stressed out.. am beginning to chill out now.. but got me thinking that i don't really get paid enough money for what i do. But better in a job than not in a job.

On a negative ive just scoffed a whole tube of pringles. On a positive ive had a good whinge and a moan to a friend... the proper way of dealing with stuff. In the past i would have had a good old gamble on the way home to settle myself and chill out... so i would have told myself...yeah right. Of course in reality it would have made my day a whole lot e***n worse.

My last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May 08.. so well done to me. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

hey s.a,

thanks for the advice think I'm going to open a savings account on Friday,just one at the bank with a pass book,and put my cash in there...also going to reduce my daily limit on my cash card if i can....this should do the trick i think,the little devil on my shoulder has only been there for a few minutes these past few days,but like you say he will be back,and when he is I'm going to kick him up the a** and tell him to "f*** off" he ain't welcome anymore!!!

sound's like you are doing great,but how can you eat a full tin of pringles???think i would explode.

regards.

green x

Hi SA thanks for the post, yeah I know what you mean about heading to the gambling when stressed out or worried about stuff, I guess that it is when you are gambling you are just focused on that and everything else fades into the background, that is until you leave having lost money and it is just another stress on top of the already there stress, hey does that make sense think I am rambling, best go to bed, Bandit X

If its any consolation I have also had a stressful day....noone gets paid enough to be stressed....but I ask you do we make ourselves stress because of the people we are or is it the situation we are put in. SOme people never seem to get stressed do they. If I am totally honest with myself I think I need a bit of stress in my life.

Nowt wrong with a tube of pringles every now and again!!! 😉

You sound much more upbeat on your last post.

Take Care in gamble free world.

x

Another difficult day..ive just been a bit of a stress head... though it has for the most part got better as the day has gone on. Am just over tired I think. I find it so hard to switch off from work. I am due some leave..relax and chill.

Add to this i had a text out of the blue from an old accquiantance. He too is a compulsive gambler and is fast approaching his rock bottom I feel.. no electric, no food, has probably dragged all his worldly possessions up to cash converters, living in a flat with nothing in it, no job and lonely as hell. I have been there myself and i have no intention of going back to it.

We meet tommorrow. I have bought him some basic food stuffs. I will buy a few beers but no money, no money thats for sure. Its the way it has to be, its the way it was for me. To give money I think he will either gamble it or drink it..thats what i'd do in his mind set.

When I had reached that stage I really didn't care anymore. My recovery only really then began after a rather forlorn suicide attempt.. more a cry for help really..but a cry that was heard. That was over 4 years ago now and i havent looked back.

Time will tell what will happen with this old accquaintence of mine. There is only so much i am willing to help..ultimately it is down to us as individuals to help ourselves.. and I am helping myself and looking after myself as best i can. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi S.A

Be sure to look after yourself whilst helping your old acquaintance.I was worried my bro was becoming a bit dependent on me for all the answers.

Why did they call on you? DId they know you were a cg?

Its fantastic you can help others and totally understand where they are coming from. I wish my bro had someone like you to speak to. Advice from someone who has been there themselves is the best sort.

Well done on you for coming so far.

x

Hi Yg,

He called on me because he was desparate and knows that I have a softer helping side to my character. Though as it turns out he's not quite as desparate as his original text portrayed. I had gone off to the shops and bought bread and baked beans and some soup.. a food parcel if you will. However he doesn't like baked beans.. at that point i just smiled. Clearly a man not at rock bottom.

I clocked it for what it was. He needed cash for the electric meter. Its winter its cold and of course he's going home to no electric light as well. Ive been there, been through that experince and its not very pleasant but he's young and healthy and he will survive to his next benefit payment.

I wasn' t feeling angry with him at all though. I bought a few beers we talked of old times in the warmth of the pub and I listened to his tales of trying to find work and getting his benefits and gambling it etc etc.

I tell you something it was a fantastic reminder for me a reminder of how far i have come and a reminder of what i do not want to return to. Sadly for this chap i feel he has further to fall.. more evenings sitting in the dark and the cold or wandering the streets because of nothing else to do.

Another day gambling free. Another good day. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA

I always find inspiration when I read your diary.

From your last post all I could do was take a deep breath and thank god I admitted I have a gambling problem. I think I got out alot earlier than some. I suppose everyone's rock bottom is different, everyones lowest point is unique to them.

Take care SA

Dee

Hi SA, Work stress, its the pits! Its exhausting and draining. But you deal with it beautifully. You recognise it for what it is and dump it here, or you go swimming, or do something else, but you don't gamble. Well done. You can be very proud of yourself.

Thank you for all your support, it is appreciated. Without it I would have headed for the h ills; Dissapeared in a flurry of dust and feathers.

We are making progress, John has his name back. Counselling has been the right route for the both of us.

Got some crackers and stilton if you send your cyber plate.........

Take care, all is currently well on Planet Ostrich, hope it is for you; You are in charge of your destiny, love Ostrich x 🙂

Cyber plate is out! ..thanks Ostrich for the cheese n biscuits and your support.. 🙂

Well talking of work its been the usual emotional rollercoaster.. thouroughly enjoyed the helping aspects of my job.. all the rest is just b*****ks. Trying really hard to switch off but it usually takes me until Saturday sometime before that happens.

Other wise its steady as it goes really..usual patterns and routines. Was running on the tread mill this evening and I just didn't have the legs today. Stopped at 4 km and sat like a sweaty blob for an age. then realised i'd fogotten the swim stuff so had a sauna in running shorts..wasn't sure whther they got a bit see through when wet.. lol.. all a bit self concious towel strategically placed.. lol

I guess am ok today..no urges or thoughts of gambling.

Today is 250 days since my last bet of any kind according to the problemgamblingguide.com's gamble free calculator. So thats something of a mile stone.. am happy with that. Still very much one day at a time as always. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

hello S.A

BUT it's

Whats Green and goes red at the flick of a switch?

A) Kermit in a liquidizor sorry to interupt !

Of course!!! I shall edit immediately... thanks for that Danm 🙂

Well done SA. Still doing it right, still on track. Your efforts in the gym have given me the bug again to get back down there. Im an all or nothing person , like in most things i do, so im building up for my reappearance next week. Ive been eating well since Xmas and lost about a stone i reckon so time to put some beef back on where it matters.

Keep going strong

Keith

Another day has passed gambling free.. for that I am thankful..regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂