Hope

Hello S.A,

You are working in a very challenging and stressful role and Its clear that you are all collectively doing an amazing job. This is a challenging time for all of us but particularly for you it is wrought with added dangers. So all the more reason to remember to look after your wellbeing and your health in general. I’m glad that running is helping with your self-care, with this in mind, you may want to think about making it a regular thing around your work and commitments? You may also want to think about other physical activities or hobbies you could do to help you de-stress and recharge your batteries. Its great to hear that you have not been gambling and is another positive step for you, well done.

Regards,

Asim

Forum Admin

Tiredness and stress are one of the biggest silent enemies..sneaky ones also but look how powerful they are?

Crazzy innit?! We dont realise how much pressure we put upon ourselves sometimes...work takes over....autopilot...whilst all the damaging stuff is eating at us in silence...from within ?

Excersice helps...man, i only did 30mins run/walk yesterday (after my epic sleep)but believe it carried me over for the rest of the night/ morning. ...magic indeed!

Keep on running SA..and please, look after yourself. 

Thank you for what you fo for all of us...you're a star!

S&B xx

SA

fella glad to read you are back on that gamble free bus again, as a result have you excluded from the site that you gambled on, the more practical things that are put in place when abstinent will help when addiction knocks the door again.

 I fully appreciate how difficult life must be for you working in the profession you do and I hope that you given thanks in every way possible as a result.

 The biggest will come from within, be kind to yourself my friend.

just for today 

Duncs 

Thanks all. Am not really being very kind to myself. But am not gambling.

Moan time

Stressful shift yesterday. Arrived early, sat in staff room. My colleague is sitting their doing nothing, her work phone is going which means that somebody has pressed their pendant. She doesn't answer, nobody else answers for ages. My colleague goes on about how much she doesn't want to be here at work, bla bla bla... If that pendant call was an emergence they would have been dead by the time somebody answered. Another colleague goes on about how "they don't really give a f**k"... they can't do this, they won't do that... moan moan, f*****g moan.... and why is it that whenever I have a few days off I come back to a mountain of clinical waste that hasn't been removed and is now stinking in abig pile cos nobody can be arsed to remove it on a daily basis before it builds up.

Why are people so f*****g self-centred, its all about them... Some people don't realise that in doing what they do its also dumping their s**t and dumping extra work load, stress and problems on to their colleagues, instead of sharing out the stress and yes from time to time going the extra f*****g mile just to support your colleagues. So to all you lazy, moaning, self-centred, work shy people out there... get your f*****g act together and do your bit!!!

Moan over.

Thanks for listening

Hey s.a

Sorry to hear about your shift yesterday though firstly the positive above all is no gambling!! 

I think it's such a difficult time at the moment for anybody working on the frontline and it's understandable that people and that's fair enough but it shouldn't at the expense of putting extra work and pressure on others. If you can't do what is expected of you then don't be there in the first place!! I tell you what though these will be the first people splattering it all over social media that they're working on the frontline waiting for there praise of course!!

Keep ya chin up mate

Packer

Thanks Packer..... well I feel a bit more on a level today. In my head sapce I threw my rattle out the pram but now iv'e retrieved it and got back in. I think to myself that if money wasn't an issue then i'd quite happily not work and isolate myself away from the world, cos that's what i do anyway.

Lock down hasn't massively effected my day to day life, it really hasn't proved a big hardship. Proper lock down is not being able to go outside your front door full stop and that i would struggle with. That's what they had/have in Spain isn't it.. a proper tough lock down. Its no wonder that the Uk has/will have the highest number of cases/deaths in Europe.... its cos our lock down hasn't been that tough or strict. Just my opinion, based on my own circumstances.

Am working quite a lot next week. Am gonna have to dig deep...am generally feeling quite unstable. Am binge eating and rapidly turning into a fat b*****d. I think I will walk to work again tomorrow. I like the very early mornings, just as its starting to get light and nobody else is around, especially now that the winter cool weather has gone.

Thanks for listening

Hey SA,

Same here. Am happy to stay home. I’m not a person who loves crowds.  The US isn’t on a true lockdown either. It depends on what state you live in and what region or county in that state. The information we are getting always seems to change. Where I live we were just told that wearing a face covering when out in public is mandatory. Whenever a governor issues a mandate here a crowd of people mostly men show up at the state capital with guns and confederate flags screaming about how their rights are being violated. Don’t see any end in sight for at least a year or year and a half. It’s spring and the natural world doesn’t seem one bit effected by what’s going on. Everything is in bloom. Birds are singing in the trees. The air is cleaner. Anyway, all of the casinos remain closed. A blessing. Haven’t set foot in one for a little over 8 months. Never got into on-line. Eating is the compulsion of the hour now lol. I think it’s good for you to let off steam on your diary. It’s a safe place and working in the non for profit sector of human services can be hell on so many levels.  I did it for over 30 years. From what I hear you saying things haven’t changed. Take good care SA and it’s ok to vent. It really is. 
joanxx

Hi SA,

Between your running and walking you’ll be melting off any lockdown excess weight in no time.

I really sympathise with your description of your last work shift. I have followed your diary for years and I know you to be as honest as the day is long. I know how hard you work and how passionate you are about the roll of being a carer to the vulnerable. Personally, I think you deserve a great deal better. 

Keep your chin up and keep going. Always know the contribution you make to people at work. Even if you think its abused or unappreciated always know yourself that you make a difference to people. You know it and they know it.

RR

Thanks all for your thoughts. I think about what you say.

Am feeling fine at this moment in time, but generally speaking am very tired. My anxiety wakes me up at silly o'clock and I tend to be high as a kite, bouncing around like a big bouncy thing at 6 in the morning. By the time it gets to early afternoon I just want to go to bed. Sleep patterns all over the place. It is what it is.

I gotta a bit of a long stretch coming up work wise, will be digging deep as always.

All for now and thanks for listening.

Well its funny how life suddenly throws you a curved ball. Whilst I was expecting the virus to come my way, the curved ball came from the opposite direction whilst I was eating a sandwich. My front tooth just broke away leaving just a tiny bit left in the socket. f**k. I clearly haven't been looking after my oral hygiene. f**k.

I phones my dentist, which I have of course not been too for many years and yes of course all dental treatment has ground to a halt. Unless you are in extreme pain with serious infection then no treatment options are available. As it turns out I am in no pain at all as I had the nerves from my front teeth removed 20 years ago. f**k. I have now changed my name to goofy and won't be smiling for the next 6 months. I been reading this stuff about do it yourself temporary tooth. To be honest i really haven't got a scoobydo what to do.

O well life goes on...

Thanks for listening

Dear diary,

No gambling, but things not so great. Sleep patterns gone crazy. Wide awake by 3 a.m, which makes for a nice walk to work but by lunch time am f****d. Work itself is getting stressy. One senior has been transferred and the other has been suspended and the general atmosphere is getting tense. I think the new management wants to run a tight ship. Currently you get thanked for nothing but moaned at for every little thing that goes a bit pear shaped. Am feeling insecure and worried about money and about keeping job

On my other issue i.e my absent tooth, my new nick name is now "gappy".. I laugh along, what else can i do. No dentists working, I can't get it fixed, it is what it is. Am just brushing my teeth very carefully and using mouth wash, just hoping that I don't get an infection. I don't need that s**t as well. I feel like am on the slow but inexorable decline into my older years. I don't know about others but iv'e gone through my teens, twenties, thirties, forties with no real issues with my physical health and then suddenly in the last few months iv'e noticed my eyesight declining and now my blumin teeth are starting to drop out. f**k a doodle do.

Creditors starting to write to me again. Sometimes I forget they are still there but they very much are. Gambling has well and trully screwed me over.

Just for today

thanks for listening

Dear S.A,

We are so sorry to hear of your tooth pain, it really has come at an unfortunate time.

In regards to dentists, I know that some are offering emergency appointments even with the situation with Covid.  If your dentist isn't offering a service I can recommend you use the NHS 111 online service. I wouldn't want your tooth situation to get worse and they may be able to provide you with a dentist that can treat you.

Best regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

Thanks Chris.... Well this is the thing. There is no pain, its currently a vanity thing, having a hole at the front of my face wear a tooth should be. I think if I was an insecure teenager, it would be the end of the world, but am not so its just one of those things. As long as I don't get an infection I should be ok. I can wait till more normal times return. Am gonna look after my teeth going forward.. whats left of them lol I will phone the 111 if pain and infection comes to get me.

Day off. Lovely day. Went did some food shopping, no queue which was good. Am gonna have a restful day. maybe a jog later. Trying not to think about stressy work.

Thanks for listening

Hi SA,

Glad to hear you’re having a nice day off - you deserve it.

Sorry about the tooth situation. Awful timing. I hope there is something that can be done.

RR

Thanks RR.... Its a strange thing but at this moment in time am really not that bother about the tooth situation. On a positive it has made me up my game on my oral hygiene. Am using mouth wash twice a day and brushing my teeth (gently) 3 or 4 times a day. Am already noticing the difference... no more red receding gums etc.

Equally odd am not that bothered about having no hot water either. Iv'e prodded the council but received no reply. On a positive my electric bills are now a bit lower. Washing the dishes in cool water is not an issue. I have a routine for personal hygiene involving the sink, the bath and the kettle.... so being washed and clean is not an issue either. The only thing I miss (a bit) is not being able to have a hot bath, but even then with summer coming am not that bothered.

Running is my saviour. Its my only real pleasure in life that doesn't bring "adverse consequences". Its healthy and wholesome and I love it. Cracking long slow jog this morning. Loved it.

I will try and enjoy the rest of the day and do some productive things. Back to work tomorrow, which am not looking forward to, but hey ho it is what it is.

Thanks for listening