Hope

I work autonomously and it is very difficult ! Most stressful job I have ever had. Some days you just need to bounce things off others but you can't ! It can be hard to stay motivated and not let other stressful things fill your head space . I too can't take duvet days as it just means double the work next time and letting people down. I feel your pain !!!!!!!!!!! Tommorrow is another day as I say to the kids when I have been yelling like a banshee ! lol

Hi S.A.

I posted the bit below on my diary but thought I better copy it onto yours too.

Take care my friend.

Glad you like what I write, thank you for reading and commenting my friend.

"struggling with feelings, but I guess my feelings shall pass..."

They certainly will. The difference between then and now is...I can feel the feelings without picking up the gambling. I can be angry, upset, going crazy, be sad, happy, depressed, feel indifferent...and still I will no longer pick up..for I have learned to feel them and then..send them down the river... by either literally write them on a piece of paper and chuck them down the loo and watch them disappear or by coming here and writing them down, or both...

God Bless

Charly/Sabine

Hi all... have had a better day today work wise and a good work out down the gym this evening.. 8km in 46 minutes.

Like Charly says it doesn't matter what my emotional state is.. its still not a reason to pick up gambling and 99 % of the time I don't .. progress not perfection! .. cheers all.. will post to others soon but not today.. too tired.. S.A 🙂

P.s nearly forgot.. no gambling issues.

Am seriously over tired today and eyes feel like they have gone square.. after having looked at a puter screen for two many hours at work.. its not good really is it.. am sure ive broken some health and safety legislation

It kinda reminds of how much my eyes were effected after hours and hours of looking at the flashing lights of a slot machine from a foot away. Add in some dehydration and its recipe for dodgy focus and headaches.. which is kinda what happened today with puter. Guess is shouldn't be on here really but i am.. cos i want to.

No gambling issues though i read and hear alot about people struggling with that horsey festival... its strange maybe but thats one form of gambling thats never interested me. I always preferred the instant fix of machines etc... watching a load of horses waiting to be loaded into those starting pen things..would bore me.. I wanted my fix now, immediately, this second!!.. thankfully I don;t want it at all in my recovery. Thanks for reading folks.. S.A 🙂

Hope you feel refreshed today after a decent kip SA!

I feel exactly the same about the horsies, instant gratification was what I was about.

Hope you have a great weekend 🙂

f x

Morning SA,

As you may know I was a compulsive online slotter so betting on horse racing wasn't really my bag. I guess if it had been I would have been putting humungous bets on big odds and losing the lot, over and over again....just like the slots! I guess compulsive gambling is compuslive gambling whatever form it takes...they are all as bad as each other.

Have a good weekend SA

Jas xx

Thanks Ade 🙂

Today the licence on my gambling blocking software ran out.

Today I tested it to see if it was still working.

Today my gambling blocking software wasn't working as pre-dicted and i was sat here looking at the front page of a gambling site.

Today I felt a surge of adrenaline looking at the front page of a gambling site.

Today I realised that my gambling head is still very much alive and kicking.

Today i could have reached for my debit card and been gambling away in the comfort and isolation of my home... beer in one hand, mouse in the other.

Today I could have emptied my bank account.

Today I could have felt the misery and despair of gambling my money away.

Today I re-installed betfilter for another year.

Today I continue to protect myself from the gambling monster within.

Today I am stronger than my addiction.

Today I choose not to gamble.

Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

S.A

I would say that today you have made a great descision in renewing that betfilter m8.As you say kid one day at a time.Well done on resisting those urges Jeff.

Hi Ade..yes good points. For some bizarre reason it didn't cross my mind just to renew it before the old licence expired.. also I am not an online gambler either. I have never gambled online but I know that i would like it.. hence the pre-caution. Online gambling would bring me to my knees very quickly. All the best folks.. S.A

Wise move SA!

I was crazy-addicted to the old online flutterage, and it certainly brought me to my knees, and into a lot of debt.

f x

Today... You were working your recovery and keeping yourself safe... nice one SA 🙂

Jackie

Hi SA,

Blocking software....in your words...does what it says on the tin. Bloody well done for getting another license. Saved!

I hope those new jeans havent shrunk in the wash SA.......we don't want short jean syndrome again....or in the words of my daughters....sawn offs!

Jas xx

Hi SA,

I just wanted to say well done om your continued abstinance and recovery. Unfortunately, as you are aware, I let my guard slip, but I have found the strength to return and hopefully second time around I'll be stronger.

All the best

Weldy

Hi S.A

Glad to see your still going stong in your recovery! You've given yourself every chance of success and i wish you all the luck in the world!

Jimmy

Thanks for dropping in folks.. and no short jean syndrome here.. am officially 33 inch leg.. 32 are history lol

Am basiclly fine today.. just being a bit hermit like the last few days.. am off work. Am reminded about how much work structures my life and puts me in an enviroment where I actually speak to people. I get lazy when am left to my own devices.. becomes hard to motivate myself to do stuff.. except for the gym.

Yesterday I did 10.7 km's in 1 hour.. its been a good few months since I did that sort of distance in that time. If only I could motivate myself in other areas of life as i can motvate myself with running.

I try not to dwell but I have very little going on in my life. I go to Ga just for a bit of company really. I continue to have to work my recovery quite hard.. other wise I could quite easilly slip back into the gambling way of living and being. But ive done well 98% of the time over many years and i see no reason for that to change. I have changed enough even when i think I havent.

Anyway am off out and about.. the sun is shinning... S.A