how did I end up like this?

I spent most of my dole money on a stinking smelly slot machine again today, I'm heading for total finacial disaster. I'm scared, sad and at my wits ends. I NEED A JOB UGENTLY AND PUTTING MONEY IN A SLOT MACHINE TO DOUBLE MY MONEY DOES NOT HAPPEN!! I hate those gambling adverts singing a long with Mr Green, flapper girls smiling making people think gamblings fantastic, and i hate that other advert singing about "a cheeky little gamble" It shoud show the REAL side of gambling of despair, people wanting to kill themselfs or sitting in a court waiting to go bankrupt, i wish the gambling industry and its greedy fat cats behind the scenes would all fail, I hate them!!

I think it's time you re assesed what it is your trying to achieve *** ? .

I've just been reading back over your last few post , which seem to be filled with " Minor Hickups and " Blips " but then you talk about smashing Fobt's up and hating the gambling industry for all the advert's ? .

I know it's difficult to stop but if you really want to then you have to put a lot more effort into it than you are at present , even the most simplist of blocks seem to be missing and if your just able to walk in to the nearest bookie to the job centre or anywhere for that matter then obviously you haven't even excluded yourself from these ? . It's not a foolproof method to end your gambling but at least it's a start in the right direction my friend .

My downfall was alway's the Fobt's , so I know how hard it is to break free of them but it's not the gambling advert's dragging you along to the bookies to play them , that's your decision .

I appreciate you don't have a job at the moment and that's really difficult to deal with but trying to win money when it's as you well know "against all the odds " especially as youv'e not got much to start with is crazy ! , your money's to keep you fed and looked after , not to feed a machine you will never beat nor satisfy !.

I got to the point of looking at way's to end my life but I never once looked to lay the blame at anyone else's feet other than myself , I chose to gamble and I chose to stop , just over 600 day's ago now , so don't tell me you can't do it too , the gambling will stop , when you stop gambling !.

Don't worry about the "Gambling industry " that can take care of itself , just take care and focus on you and stopping gambling , It will be time well spent :)).

All the best for now :))

Had my last spin today, I start a full time job next week so it's come just in time to keep me occupied and out of betting shops. Not looking forward to my new job but I need it as I'm sinking into a financial hole. To be honest the job has just come in time at I was about a week away in looking into going bankrupt. I'll have to give this job a chance, I've no choice! Good luck to my fellow people in combating and defeating this curse I call 'gambling addiction' I'm trying my best to combat it.

I'm a f@@king idiot, 125 days into having no interest in stupid slots, I waddled in to my local money pit(betting shop) today as I'm badly overdrawn and I'm on a part time job now which I'm struggling to live on, I thought 'if I can win a bit money, get out my overdraft, I'll have a full months pay' BUT you can guess what happened, I'm now £200 overdrawn now so might pay next week is pointless, I despair, I hate life at the moment and I can never see a end to my constant misery, I'm tired of feeling miserable and depressed.

Hi positive panda. I have just read through your diary. I have to echo the posts by a few people that you have seemed to ignore or at least not replied too. Will power is clearly not working, it is hard, we can all relate but I feel you need to try and do more to stop this, you need to self exclude, look at handing money over to someone else, go to counselling or GA etc... I feel without doing some of these things, it is inevitable when I see another large gap between your posts that you will be discussing another relapse.

All the best,

Chris

Hi Positive Panda - your life will get better if you can stop gambling. I know that's easier said than done, but there's a real truth in it.

I agree with the other posts - so now that you're stinging from a fresh loss, I'd use all that negative energy to get yourself self-excluded from all the nearby betting shops first thing tomorrow.

I know addictions are hard to kick, but you're making it much much harder for yourself by not putting up some good defences.

Well done for finding another job - but don't give the bookies any more of your hard earned cash.

I've just read through your diary *** and the post that sticks in my mind is 04.01.15. Why, because that was the day you shouted and cheered with relief the day you decided NOT to gamble. Most of the other times you have posted have been after a loss, feeling miserable. Why not try posting your gamble free days? You only have to get through one day, today, without gambling. Then you can have a cheer at the end of that day. Try not to look so far ahead.
In fact if I was you I would spend a little time reading back over your diary and taking the advice that has been given by all those trying to help you. You have to want to stop gambling more than you want to stop losing. If you had a physical illness would you try and get better through positive thinking alone or would you ALSO want to have a doctor's advice, the best medicine and treatment??? Why not give yourself a chance?
All the best
4D

You ended up like this because you want to do it your way and recovery is about surrender and admitting your own powerlessness.

You can change for you if you want to.

CW

Its a downhill battle at the moment. I'm in a low paid job now, I'm not sure where I'd find the time for G.A councilling or appointments. Lost at the moment and tired. I have a few grains of hope in me left that hope there will be better times ahead and i'll look back at this time and hope i've moved on from the miserable frame of mind I live with at the moment due to having no money.

Hi ***

You are talking about a downhill battle and I agree it is a battle or war or whatever you want to call it if you want to stop gambling. I think the issue that several people have mentioned, and it seems you are ducking, is what are you fighting with?

I think I am a pretty determined (stubborn) type of person but I know I can't fight it with willpower on its own. You need to use all the weapons at your disposal, get excluded from every local bookies, hand over whatever finances you have left to your girlfriend, put yourself out to get some counselling or GA help, don't just say it is difficult.

Not sure hope on its own is going to get you out of your current position.

There are plenty of people on here with far more experience than me who I am sure would repeat the advice if you want it?

You find the time for GA and counselling the same place you found the time for gambling. Better times can undoubtedly be had but they involve effort and commitment to making changes.

I have phone counselling. 12 free sessions. Once a week for an hour and i could pick the day/time. It does help to speak to people outside of your usual circle. They understand you and you can just rant to them about thinngs that they can feedback to you and get you thinking about.

As for feelings its a rough ride for a while. Im still up and down emotionally. Its not nice to have to look at the mess gambling has left us in in real honesty. Stick with it, it can only be better than the alternative!

Hello Everyone!
It's been 345 days since I last made an appearance on here. Since November last year, I've had 3 very short brief sessions on slot machines, to be honest now the buzz or lure, I had for them has all but gone, the amount of misery they caused me over the past "estimated" 15 years just makes me humiliated and disgruntled on how much money I've lost to the slots and how much anxiety, lost sleep and financial mess the slots have caused me. Things have been better the past 5 months I've gained full time employment, but in a area of work I'm comfortable and used to, I still have depts to pay, but everything seems to be under control. I still do the Irish lotto, jointly with my Mam, she and I both put what we can afford in once a week to win a few quid back. After years of mess, misfortune and personal tragedys and bad luck, for the first time in me life I can see things might be getting better now. Just hope it continues and I can remain strong. Good luck everyone, and my thoughts are with people in turmoil at the moment x

19-1-19 - January 9th 2019

That date will be the last date I'll gamble on FOBTS, lost about £500 over yesterday and today. I have been doing very well, and I no I can stop it, on top of that I've lost me debit card inbetween the past 48 hours of madness. I have been short of cash, and I thought a FOBT would be my only chance of topping up my cash flow, STUPIDLY i watched best winning slots and payouts on YouTube, and headed to my local betting shops and I have made my financial sitiuaton worse, I wish the Government would just ban the machines, by the way, don't bother with fortune spins - I would rename them LOOSE a fortune wins.

My fault, its still early in the year to salvage my mess.

Good luck, I’m in the same boat