How does gambling take over your life...

Hi Sean

Sounds like we in a very similar boat my friend you said your really low. Don't do anything silly you have two girls who really need you and they will be positive focus for recovery. Look I told my wife with I hid it for 3 years a few days ago and I'm currently sleeping at my parents. I will say this you have to admit the truth accept what you have done to begin recovery. Ring the gamcare helpline it's great really good advice also I'm a fobt slave too. You need to self exclude you will be banned from the bookies.

chin up mate tell the truth and how ever ugly it looks you will feel a huge weight you have been keeping lift off your shoulders. Good luck Sean!!

Thanks ADT,

Well done on coming clean to your wife I k ow how hard that would have been and I just can't do it as I promised her before I wouldn't do it again and look where I am?

I have been told many times to self exclude the only thing being I drive for a living pass many of bookies during the day I'm not a regular in one specific shop.

All I can do I make tomorrow gamble free and that will be a start, get back doing a hobby that I enjoy and get my head in the right place again.

I'll keep fighting this addiction I have a problem and I have to face it.

Hi Sean, you have managed 18 months before so well done for that and you can do it again.

If you hop over to the Overcoming Gambling section there is a thread in there from Oldhamktf about SE from bookies.....hope it can be of some use. Also consider what you are taking out with you on a daily basis.....amount of cash, cards - are they really needed? Etc.

Good luck

Hello Sean

I'm not going to lie it's terrible coming clean but the sooner you do it the better it will be.

If you ring up the self exclude helpline details on gamcare you can give them post codes and I believe they will do the rest it's an extra barrier!

Cheers Andy

Thank you Tilly & Andy,

I will certainly look into that as I have to do something different this time to make me stop.

I really want to come clean but couldn't take the chance as I know last time she said if I gambled again that would be the end of us.

I'm working today and I'll be leaving my wallet at home I don't need to take it with me just an extra temptation.

Today I'm going to be gamble free

Thanks for the support I really appreciate it.

That's a good start Sean I'm no expert accept at f***** up. but you might want have a chat with gam care they offer free counciling. I have somthing with work and start Tuesday. I will be honest from the reading I have done on this site you need support determination and honesty to succeed. Have a chat set up counciling and then sit down with ur lady. Hopefully the fact u have done this and the self exclusion over the phone will be positives for her.

Hi SJ, You've made a great start lad. Recovery from this addiction can be incredibly difficult for some. I hope your journey is easier than many, but if you need help, there is lots available in the form of Gamcare and their counselling and other organisations that offer help. Have a read of some other forum diaries. A lot of helpful advice and suggestions. Tri x

Thanks Tri and ADT,

I tried last time to get some counselling but never got anywhere as they didn't have any around my area, something I will try and get again though.

I really wish I could tell my wife but it's just not an option at the mo I need to get my head back in the right place and stop feeling sorry for myself, it's me who got myself in this situation and I need to find a way out of it.

I will be calling the self exclude number tomorrow and be doing this at any bookies in my town and all other towns that I work in.

I'll be trying to get into chat tonight just to see if this is another tool I can use for my recovery.

24hrs and iv not had a bet it's a start.

Well done Sean 24 hours is a solid foundation!! You know what councillor I got is around 35 an hr I looked at at and though can I spend that a month. but if I was spending 600 quid a month on the fobt 140quid for a few months and then work hopefully down to once a month will be worth it.

ADT, that's not a bad shout at all might be worth looking into, just as a gambler you don't really think of money like that just make sure you've got enough money to gamble with (well that was me sorry to tar anyone else with the same brush)

Really need to get through this money positively and not let my self down, worst thing is I know I can't win because I can't stop but still would gamble just hard to swallow.

Hi SJ28, welcome to recovery 🙂

I completely understand you not wanting to tell you wife again but that's not to say I agree with it because there should be no secrets in a marriage & she may even know something is up anyway (I'm pretty sure I would)! It may be better for her to hear you have had a slip & are doing x, y, z about it rather than just feeling your terrible lows.

I'm a FOBT fool too so you haven't tarred me & although some may be offended, truth is us compulsive gamblers are very selfish & some would step over hot coals to ensure we had money to throw away on Mr Gamble, whilst trying to save 5p on a carrier bag.

Paying for counselling is an option but it may still be worth looking @ other things too, your GP may offer services, especially if gambling is a 'stress reliever' or GamCare do online stuff too I believe.

Why don't you go onto the GA website & figure out which meetings you can get to & when...Not making a regular one is not an issue, just getting to them will help your recovery

www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

I knew I couldn't win because I couldn't stop, we all do, but when it's something that our brain craves it's still incredibly hard to make the right choice to just say 'No'. I had to hand by finances over to my now hubby to break my gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you can't gamble) triangle in my early days (how embarrassing) to help me get through the dumb urges. It may be worth you looking @ a credit card that will allow you to remove the cash withdrawal facility (Barclaycard do it, but I'm not sure about the others)...Unless the bookies have changed, you can't hand one of these over @ the counter for gambling tokens. You then have it with you when you travel for food/petrol etc.

You need to & your family needs you to put all the energy you have been using to gamble into recovery now - ODAAT

Thank you ODATT,

Honestly I really want to tell her but I'm so scared of the out come as she's already laid her cards on the table and I promised I wouldn't go back to it.

I think my best option is to get my life back on track get myself out this hole that I'm in and be strong and then maybe I can face the music and tell her.

One thing iv never done since we got married is get a joint account why you might ask but I'm sure you already know why, so one thing I want to get sorted this week is a joint account wages in to there bills coming out and only let myself have an amount each month hopefully this will help.

Today has been a good day actually a very good day, worked this morning and then spent the rest of the day with my family just need to keep this frame of mind.

I'll have a look into meetings tomorrow thank you I really do appreciate the support.

Hi Sean , many thanks for your comment , just been going through your diary and the only thing I can say is do what works my friend , youv'e done 18 months before so your no stranger to recovery and all it offers you , this is just a slip and as I'm only to aware all of us are only one bet away at any time , we learn as we go but keep moving forward One day at a time !.

Best wishes and proud to walk alongside you .

Alan

Thanks Alan,

Really appreciate the support, gambling has made me feel really lonely but this site is helping find strength.

So thank you.