I am stronger than I thought!

Charlotte

today you did something amazing.

Truly amazing.

Enjoy you xmas with all your heart.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Merry Christmas Charlotte. Best wishes for a gamble free 2013. X

G

Hi charlotte

Hope xmas went well I'm sure it did with kids how can it not its an amazing time , a new year to look forward to now and we will keep on supporting each other every step of the way

Take care

Castle2

Hey Char

Hope your Christmas was all you wanted it to be!

Irene

x

Thanks all xx

I had a gr8 day yesterday, lots of smiles, laughs and lots of fun.... No thoughts of gambling, I just enjoyed spending time with the ppl I love and care about!

Maddison had soooo many pressies, she did not stop smiling.... Bless her 🙂

We travelled down 2 my bf's family 2day so she had a 2nd Christmas day..... I am very happy atm and feeling really positive.... I don't wanna go back 2 gambling it causes me so much stress and sadness and takes away the real me!

I said in chat a few wks back that I wanna stay gamble free 4 the whole of 2013 and Graham (in chat) my good friend a real inspiration 2 me... He has been gamble free 4 7 yrs now...Said that I should not put 2 much pressure on myself and I know he wants me 2 suceed.... But I really wanna try sooooooo hard 2 not gamble in 2013 and put all this behind me.... I have 2 believe in myself.... Believe that I can do this and most of all have hope!

Yesterday made me realise the best things in life really r free... It is like Rach said it is not what is under ur tree but the ppl around it!

When I was hooked up in gambling... I never realised how lucky I am, how many gr8 ppl I have around me.... It is now time 4 me 2 appreciate this and 2 move on from my past... I have 2 let it go and focus on my future... I feel I am strong enough now!

It is my bday at the start of January and it feels like I will be able 2 start a new chapter in my life... Without gambling in it!

I am not sure ne of this will make sense 2 ne1... but it makes sense 2 me ...Even tho it is a bit of a ramble!

2 wks gamble free 2day and looking forward 2 the new yr and a new start 🙂

Thank u everyone 4 helping me get this far xx

hey Charlotte

thanks for your post in my diary- 2 weeks gamble free is great. What a great last post in your diary, you are being so positive and looking forward to the future and that must be the key to conquering this addiction.

I wish you a brilliant birthday and a fantastic 2013- you can do it.

Stuxx

Hi My little "yummy mummy"...copyright Womble!

Sounds like you spent xmas with all the people you love....so happy to here that Char.

Graham is right hun....don't put too much pressure on yourself eh?

I know how you like songs and words.......I put a post on overcoming gambling on SA's thread on songs....check it out mate...think it will inspire you.

Hugs Sue xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Char

So glad that Christmas was everything u hoped it would be .....and 2 weeks gamble free- yipee!!

Keep strong- just a wee bit at a time

Irene

x

Here I am again 🙁

I seem 2 be getting worst at this my gamble free time is getting less and less b4 I self destruct I have lost all my focus.. I gambled 2day and I am angry at myself!

I am gonna leave my bf and Maddison.. they would be better of without me... The one thing I ever got rite in my life was having Maddison and I am such a selfish Mummy 2 her... I try so bloody hard and I mess up!

I write this post crying...how sad and weak am I!

Neway u r all doing amazing and way better than me... Stay strong everyone of u xx

P.S... I feel like such a hypocrite (not sure if that's how u spell it) reading back my post from yest...Who am I trying 2 kid?

I am breaking down

Trying to fight the thoughts that tell me I am the most worthless

creature in this world.

Feeling scared, feeling terrified.

I’m in a room filled with people …

beautiful, strong souls in the struggle for rights and

social justice.

Yet I am alone.

Laughter in the room

Strength, love and commitment in this room

Courage in this room

… and all I can feel, all I can think of is the endless pain I feel

inside.

I am fighting with all the strength I have left to keep my tears from

rolling down.

I am giving all the strength I have left to keep me from running out

of this room

and scream that with every second that goes by it hurts to breathe, it

hurts to be alive …

While others laugh, live, continue the fight for justice … I battle

these thoughts of pain. I fight the loneliness and the demon of

this addiction.

I fake a smile.

There is an immense guilt inside of me for not being able to be as strong as the others.

I have no motivation.

I want to disappear.

I don’t want to feel these terrifying feelings anymore.

More laughter in the room.

I fake another smile.

I wonder how many other undocumented souls are feeling the pain I am

feeling.

I pray that there aren’t many like me stuck in the hell of my past.

I feel ridiculous.

Not a single positive thought in my head. Not a single positive

feeling in my soul.

I contemplate leaving this life early.. Am

I that selfish to leave everything and everyone behind?

I can’t fake another smile.

There’s only a blank stare upon my face.

Charlotte.

I will say this from my heart.

There is a triangle. Time -money -location.

Take one away at all times. You can't have a bet.

Can't your bf take control of your money.

You are not a bad person. The addiction to gambling is bad.it will use your emotions good and bad to trick you,it knows no bounds it is only loyal to its self.

Look at all the good abstinence has done for you. When you go back at it you come to your senses quickly.

Charlotte gift yourself recovery,the triangle works,those blocks will bring you to your sensible self before you go back at it.

Never give up giving up.

Tomorrow do something amazing.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

well girl you just gotta take a step back and take some good deep breaths. hell we all screw up when it comes to gambling and sure aint the end of the world. money can be replaced, you on the other hand cant. in the morning brings new light to the cloud your seeing now. dont let them greedy b******s win cause you can rise above this. never give up that fight girl

Thanks Duncan xx

I know how 2 stay gamble free.. I went 16 wks.. but sensible does not come in2 it!

My ex is always involved when I have a slip and I am at a loss wot 2 do 4 the best... it is as simple as that.... right now it feels like the ppl I care about would be better off without me!

Thanks Brokensoul xx