I am stronger than I thought!

I know how much pain gambling causes me ... why do I keep returning 2 it... I must be MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know ppl here get fed up off ppl when they keep having slips... but I don't care about that!!!!!

I made a promise 2 myself on this journey 2 be 100% honest and if I lied... I would only be cheating myself and that's not me!!

guess we gamblers always want that quick fix out of our problems. seems to only add to them and we learn it as we go but most times its the hard way.

dont think were all here to get fed up with each other. we all felt just what your feeling so your never alone.

Charlotte.

At 38 years old i feel your pain, i often asked myself what if??

I know this if I had the courageous spirit you had some twenty years ago my life would have been one of great recovery.

You have that opportunity my dear friend.

I forgive myself for my shortfalls.

I like you can't change the past.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.

We can change our tomorrow.

It takes great courage and strength but we can do this.

The gamble free bus waits for you,i promise to save you a seat.

Unconditionally.

Duncs

No your not mad Charlotte, your just struggling like the rest of us to kick this habit. I'm not good at words but I do

Know how your feeling. I also have a little one and feel selfish after the slips I have. But we need to put it behind us and move on, otherwise the guilt would eat away at us. Hope you ok

Nicki xx

im concerned about you girl. theres plenty here who care and understand what your feeling, wish i had that magic wand to take them sorrows away. it gets better

please tell me your ok.

Charlotte.

Whilst gambling i did not care for anyone,least of all myself

i was stuck in a lonely ever decreasing circle of a world.

I thought my best friend was the fobt.

In fact my enemy was the fobt.

Today i wish i knew of a cure,to gift a medicine to all compulsive gamblers to put a halt to the destruction.

I also wish i could gift our partners something to take away the pain our addiction causes.

Both of which i cannot.

But rest assured i will continue to aspire to find a way.

We can arrest it,wow you have had more gamble free days since you started your diary than days at it.

That is true there as testament to you in black and white.

Your honesty will help,it shines through.

Be kind to yourself.

Keep going.

Duncs

Please don't worry about me brokensoul... it is really sweet of u 2 care... I am just feeling gutted rite now and lost in my own dark thoughts... I just don't know y I keep doing this 2 myself and the ppl I love 🙁 Take care Brokensoul... and thank u all 4 ur kind words 2nite Nicki, Duncan and Brokensoul xx... I am in tears atm... Just gonna break the news 2 my bf the worst is I know he won't be mad at me.... which makes me feel more ashamed and guilty!

Hey char sorry to hear of your relapse but dont best yourself up that has no benefit to you at all so dont be so hard on yourself you deserve so much more than what you give yourself, relapse is always the way to recovery and it doesnt matter how many relapses you need just aslong as you recover when your fully ready to do so, you just keep trying and keep coming on here we will get you through it, plus being a parent to a little one ive thought the same how i had disapointed them but they love you for who you are and look at all the things you are good at im sure the list would far outweigh the negative, 2013 just round the corner lets see if can make it a good one for you. Rich.xx

awe girl i know them feekings suck right now. kinda the worst in the world when ya feel like the ground be pulled out from your feet. but time heals all that and we have them hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. yeah you'll smile again just cause you want too.

Charl I wish there was an instant chat, to have a good talk. :-/

Hi Charlotte. So sorry to read about your pain and tears. I know the holidays are supposed to be a happy time, but they're not always and not for all. Sometimes you feel depressed and bored and for people like us boredom is our worst enemy. Read about your ex being involved in most of your slips. I think it's time to cut loose of the past to create your new bright future. I know you can do this. Think of it as another step towards your goal, something that you needed to do to be able to step forward. I was, well still am, so close to gamble myself. I think of it more and more each day for some reason. I hope u'll find the strength to put this behind you. Unconditional Charlotte !!! ((((C))))

Hi Charlotte

I had to hit rock bottom before I found my answers.

A light just went off in my head 40 days ago and said G you just aren't cut out for gambling. Not online casinos, not FOBT's, not football bets no matter how small, not poker, not fruit machines, not anything. I have lost the will to gamble any more. I have accepted defeat in trying to obtain some kind of leisure/entertainment from gambling. I lost. I tried it for 20 years and I lost. There is NO entertainment to be had. The misery, the lies, the dishonesty, the guilt and the empty wallet far outweigh any of the highs I've ever had from being a gambler.

You know what. I've learnt that there is no shame at all in accepting defeat, but I had to hit rock bottom to find that out.

I read your posts and I wonder if you have hit your rock bottom. Maybe it's time to truly accept you don't win when you gamble. Your lows far outweigh any highs.

We are days away from a new year. Be inspired by what a new year can bring to you and your family. I wish you so much luck in your pursuit of a gamble free life.

G