I am stronger than I thought!

I am still gamble free and wanted 2 update my diary 2day with some positive things that have happened. However, it doesn't feel rite!

I have followed the posts recently and I thought it would have died down. I am actually quite saddened by a recent post I have read.... When I was gambling I am the first 2 admit I was very selfish. But I am here staying strong 2 provide a better life 4 my family the ppl I care about. I feel really down after reading some of the stuff. Guess I'm in a reflective mood rite now. Like others maybe it is a good time 2 stay away from my diary 4 now.

Hope everyone is having a gr8 day x

Charl Ive been reading some of the posts lately to. They made me feel annoyed we are not bad people. We are fighting this. Dont stay away. You are an inspiration. You give me faith. I hope you had a very good night out. Your a star keep shining . Onwards and upwards.

Thanks Charlotte....

... for saying those words and for allowing me a slip and accepting me ...it means so much to me...truly....much more than you think xx

I hope I can keep Dot but I may have to go into rented.

hugs to you and Maddison

Rachel xx

The little things in life

too often we dont realize

what we have until it's gone

too often we wait too late to say

"i'm sorry i was wrong"

sometimes it seems we hurt the ones

we hold dearest to our hearts

and we allow stupid things

to tear our lives apart

far too many times we let

unimportant things get in our mind

and by then it's usually too late

to see what made us blind

so be sure that you let people know

how much they mean to you

take the time to say the words

before your time is through

be sure that you appreciate

everything you've got

and be thankful for the little things

in life that means alot.

Been thinking and reflecting on how gambling could have affected my family... If I did not stop. The above poem reflects how I feel.... It's the little things in life that matter. Time is precious.

Hey lovely.....

fantastic poem....but listen.."you DID stop" and that makes all the difference...even with slips it doesnt matter to me....you did turn it around and you still are and you were willing to......

Any anger you may read on here from people like us is because our loved ones didn't stop and in my case had absolutely no intention of stopping.

We have no where to put those feelings.

If my ex had even been "willing" to get help and was off and on with it hun I would have supported him 100%. When he had losses I was always sympathetic and kind ..even with his head under the duvet not wanting to live...

It was only when I drank to keep it all in that there was no guarantee that I wouldn't explode or if he was being nasty to me and trying to knock my confidence ..my trip switch flipped..

Big hugs and a new week for all of us

Rachel xxx

Hi Charlotte,

I hope that you are okay. Thanks for your message. I am good thanks. I hope that you have had a lovely weekend. You are so right about what really matters in life.

I hope that you have a great Monday.

Dave X

charlotte, well you do know how to tug upon the heartstrings and for all the right reasons, for me you need to do what is best for you, as from that you will make the rest better to, keep be honest with yourself. Inspired. Thankyou for sharing it does mean alot. We can all simply enjoy a better life. Duncs stepping forward never back.

Charl im finding staying bet free hard today. I would appeciate some tips. Sorry for being demanding last night in the chat. After all youve been through it was wrong of me. Hope you will still offer me tips and help. Onwards

ps I really like that poem. Thank you

Hi Char,

Glad you are ok.

Loved your poem!

Hugs

Sue xx

Charl I relapsed but thanks for all the tips you have given me it really does help anything you think would help me please let me know any tips would be really good right now. I respect you and look up to you.

Morning Charlotte,

Thank you for your message this morning. You are doing great. I love getting your messages as they are always so positive and encouraging. 🙂

Yes, I am definately sticking to one day at a time at the moment. I know the dangers of getting complacent and relaxing.

I hope that you have a great day.

Take care

Dave X

Keep Strong, Be Proud

Thanks Dave and Steve x

Soooo I've not properly updated my diary 4 a bit.... I had a really tough day yesterday. I stayed away from my diary cus I did not want 2 be negative. I was close 2 gambling but I managed 2 stay strong and resist 🙂

Now the positives ...

2day, I am 3 wks gamble free 🙂

A few things have happened recently that I am really proud off.... this time round things feel different 4 me. I feel soooo determined that this is gonna be my last attempt at stopping ... I am not getting ahead of myself tho, cus I know it's tough!

These may only seem like small things 2 everyone but they r a huge improvement 4 me so i'm writing them down so I can look back if I need 2 🙂

The other nite when my bf got home from work he wanted a takeaway... I said to him I will go took my purse with all my cards never really thought about gambling....neway the takeaway is in a complex very close 2 the pub I gamble in when I drove thru the traffic lights I saw the pub and thought I will just have a small go.... ne way I sat outside the pub in my car 4 10 mins and something just clicked that I was convincing myself trying 2 escape from the rubbish wk I was having and I drove past the pub over 2 the takeaway..... I felt very proud after... I could have gambled I had the opportunity my cards on me but I also knew from the slips I have had b4 it's never just a small go 4 me... Something felt different this time... I was honest with myself!!

Also went out in town with my friends Sat nite, had a few drinks some of them were playing the machines. I looked over and I was not even tempted... I have plans 4 my money atm getting Maddison some lovely presents 4 her 1st bday... much more rewarding than a temporary escape.

I am going on my friends hen party wknd in sept at Blackpool, I was worried about this cus I know there will be machines and they will play.... But now I feel ok I feel strong enough I feel determined. I will stay gamble free 4 me and my family 🙂

Sorry 4 the ramble 2day 🙂

Hope everyone as a good day x

Hi Charlotte,

Congratulations for staying strong! You should never apologise for rambling. It is really important to get out what you are thinking and feeling.

I hope that you are having a great day.

Dave X