Night Charlotte....
God,keep you safe this night
Secure from all your fears
May angels watch you while you sleep
Til morning light appears...
My grandpa used to say this to me when I was a kiddie xxx
sleep tight.
R and D xx
Morning Charlotte,
Thanks as always for your messages. Well done for staying strong. You did exactly the right thing by snuggling in to Maddison and your bf when those urges came. It is so important to remember to keep what is important close to us.
All good this end - the new nursery is painted. Really pleased with how it looks but like you I was covered in the stuff by the time I had finished! lol
I am really pleased that you have decided to stick with your diary. I for one would really miss reading your messages and hearing about your journey if you were to stop.
Take care and have a great Friday!
Dave X
Hello Charlotte
Thank you for all the comments you have left on my diary. I just want to say my thoughts are with you and your family today. I hope it goes as best as it can for you and you have loads of people here that want you to remain strong and keep going. You are an inspiration to many here and you have given me hope to believe I can change things for that I am grateful to you.
I also want to apologise for not commenting on your diary recently, I still read daily but I can only post once really with everything I have got going on. So I have been posting on my own diary becuase it has been helping me to remain on the right path. But I am always watching out for you.
Take care Charlotte
Luv Soph x
Hello Charlotte
You are doing really well, through the ups and the downs. You come back stronger. You have so many people here looking out for you and supporting you and you have helped me in more ways than you will realize. You are a credit to yourself Charlotte. Never change who you are.
I will be trying to come into "chat" on the weekend. I hope to catch up with you there. Have an amazing weekend. Speak soon, take care.
Luv Soph x
Hi charlotte
Wow ur a real fighter and shining example to everyone , u av come such a long way and the change u see in urself is all positive
All the problems that come ur way u now deal with and av to say with great integrity and maturity , u av all the reasons in ur family to continue onwards and upwards in ur journey and av so much to look forward to
I know ur proud of urself and so u should be I can safely say we all are
Take cave
Castle2
Getting through strong urges can only make you stronger in you battle against this evil addiction.
You have just created stronger walls in your fight and battle to win, keep this up and there will be a very bright future ahead for you.
Well done!
NT
Hi Char,
That was so sweet to read....you b/f...and your beautiful daughter cuddled up together!
You overcame those urges hun........that was fantastic that you spoke to b/f instead of running away..........I am bursting with pride for you!
Hope today has been ok for you?
It's often quite emotional after a funeral........It's all so final char but you my friend will cope!
Sending you my biggest hugs!
Sue xxxxxxxx
hi charlotte,
really well done for not giving in last night and with that you have fought off the urges and made youreslf even stronger, although i think your already an incredibly strong person, and how much better do you feel today ??? tackling the problems head on and talking it all through with your boyfriend. you dont need me to tell you how much life is better this way so just keep that thought in your head if the urges come on strong. keep up the brilliant work and have a lovely weekend
carl
Thank u 4 ur lovely posts, it really does mean alot 2 me 🙂
The last cpl of day I have been on a real emotional rollercoaster and it's been a struggle. I am trying 2 allow myself 2 feel how I feel but breaking old habits is sooo hard!
My nan called me 2day and when I went over she told me that my grandad had wrote individual notes 2 all of us 4 when he passed away he wrote them not long ago. I took mine away 2 read alone and I am not one 2 cry but reading it I sobbed my heart out ... I will treasure this 4ever.. He knows I like my quotes and this is part of wot he wrote in the letter, please remember this ... It's not about who hurt u and let u down. It's about who was always there and made u smile again.
This quote really made me think about alot 2day!
I am going to leave Maddisons letter unopened, until she is old enough 2 read it herself!
Also my nan told me 2day that my Grandad as left me quite a bit of money and I have 2 think of something worthwhile 2 do with that 2 make him proud... I have 2 stay strong and not waste ne of it... but the truth is if I could trade all the money I had for even just a single minute more with my Grandad.... I would without a 2nd thought!
So I am still gamble free just and very emotional!
Nite all x
Charl I really think you are hard on yourself try to be kind and gentle with yourself you have been through a hard time. Like everyone said tonight at chat you are allowed to be supported to.You are a fighter I know you will get through this and you will be even stronger.I am here if you need me anytime. Take good care charl hun x
Morning Charl,
As always you continue to be strong even when faced with really tough times. I continue to salute you and say what a wonderful member of this site you are 🙂
As for the money you pretty much summed it up by saying you would trade every penny in for more moments with your grandad. That is the exact motivation you need to use that money very wisely, it is your way of showing him your strength and how you are building a much happier life now. I am sure you have and will continue to make him extremely proud.
I think over time those individual notes your grandad left will be something you read now and again to uplift you and make you smile. I am sure that's why he wrote them 🙂
Flagg
Hi Charlotte....
Keep talking and saying how you feel....letting those emotions out...you are allowed hun ...
Your grandad's letters and quotes are lovely and you can keep him alive in your memories and stories and pass them down to Maddison so she carries him in her heart too.
big hugs Charlotte
Dotty and virtual Auntie Rach xx
Yo,
Good morning , just wanted to say , keep going Hun.
Slowly you are getting stronger and stronger , dealing with emotions without using gambling as a crutch is not an easy thing to do.
You are showing , it can be done . I applaud you for your honesty and the continued support and kindness you show everyone on this site .
What a fantastic role model you are for Madison,
Today you should be proud , just for being you .
Shiny xxxxxxx
Hey Charlotte 🙂 ,
Just wanted to say thank you for all your continued support on my diary you been writing on my diary and chatting nearly everyday in chat since i started my journey which was 96 days ago.
I know you have been through soooooo much in all that time and it just shows how strong a person you are to still be coming back here and not use gambling as a tool to try deal with your emotions and i envy you for being this strong. You always say i am so determined. But we all get this determination from something that has happened to us for me it was thinking about suicide rather then face upto giving up gambling.
But with all the support on here and my wife i got through it. For you i think your one of the most valued members of this site and i think nearly everyone on this site knows you and are here to support you as best they can just because you are so kind hearted and offer so much support to everyone 🙂 So thank you for all the time you give to everyone on here. Just keep going you have so many hurdles to get over but your better than any athlete because you have the heart and strength to get over all of them.
I am sure you will pass that challenge with me and here for you if you need any advice or support.
Take care Charlotte and stay strong because you give a lot of people on here Hope and courage to keep going 🙂
Hope you have a nice weekend
Kind Regards
Ricky 🙂 x
Oh Charl,
Your grandad sounded like such a special man. That is a wonderful thing to do, leaving notes for his loved ones. I think I may pinch that one when I am older!
As for the inheritance....perhaps you could have it transferred to one of those savings accounts where you have to give 30 days notice to make a withdrawal? it would just keep you safe at this time. I don't think a compulsive gambler can be trusted with large sums of money, at emotional difficult times to be honest. It is like we are not quite fully sane when we are hurting. Then again, I guess who is?
Anyway, I think that is a lovely positive focus to have at the moment. You will have your pain and grief, but also possibilities for the future with Grandad's legacy. you can think how best to use this money to improve things for you and your little family.
Keep letting those feelings in hun, I know they hurt, but they hurt more if you sit on them.
Take care,
f x
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