I am stronger than I thought!

Charl you seemed really quiet and down at chat tonight not your usual bubbly self. If you want to talk about anything or need any help I will gladly be there for you write on my wall anytime. Take good care x

Hi lovely

Got your message there and sending you a big hug.

I'm not sure what to say ..and I am trying to put myself in your shoes here and think back in my own journey.

I know I felt a bit like you that time I had my public meltdown on here...I had been in on the site for about 5 months and the ex was well behind me but I still felt I wasn't moving forward or over it all even though I felt ashamed that after so long after all my fighting posts ...I was still stuck.

If you remember I was ranting on my posts along the lines of why are the CG are all moving forward and I'm not ..and it upset a few folk who stopped posting to me.

There is no answer charl that I can give...only to say that we all recover In our own time and I was wanting to be at the same stage as everyone else and be in the gang..and I wasn't..so I felt alone and like I was a failure.

I still had those horrible angry thoughts that I know are different to the urges but in the same way I was fed up as I thought I was over all that by now.

Do it in your own time Charl..you have a lot on your plate ...posting on here during those times is the way I get over any blocks..as my recovery isn't a straight line.

Take up as many posts as you like on your diary..I sometimes post every hour as you know,even now and those are the days when I also feel consumed by those feelings and stuck.

You are worth going to any lengths for my lovely.....keep that in mind.

You keep being honest..and if it gets worse as time goes on then you tell us... as I'm sure there are people on here who also feel the same but just worry about saying it.

I feel better and reassured when I feel I'm not alone..as I used to think Is it just me that's not doing this right?....

Its not hun....a lot of folk probably feel it too ..

UNCONDITIONAL xxxx

And sending big hugs (((((C)))))) xxxxxx

R and D xxx

hi charlotte

I am in a bad place at the moment, I really do not know wot is wrong with me. Or if I am gonna continue this journey nemore. I am still gamble free but really miserable!

Angry at myself 4 feeling like this!

Hey Char,

Keep going mate your doing blooming amazing I know it's hard at the mo but will pass just remember you and your little princess are better of without gambling!

Iv reach 8 months since my last bet and you have played a huge role in helping me I won't forget the night when I was down in the dumps on chat and with your help found the courage to tell my partner and from that day on iv not looked back.

Chin up mate please stay with it for no one else but yourself.

Best regards mate

Shaun x

Charl.....OK ...so i'm taking stepping out now into the unknown and making a suggestion....

Why not try this.....

right now...pretend none of us are here and just use this box space that we all have to write down at this moment what you're feeling...good bad or ugly... don't worry about how it looks ,or being there for anyone or spelling...this is just about you.......and then if you like.... press send....

Whatever comes out...comes out....you can always delete...

hugs

R and D xxx

ps ...you can write it on my diary box if you like ....xxx

Hi Charlotte, so sorry to hear that you feel down. It's not like you. We all go through stages, up and down. We're all here for you, as you're always here for us. Whenever I feel like this I just play a song that really picks me up. I will survive!!! I know everyone knows it and heard it a million times. For me it works most of the time... Hope tomorrow you'll feel better.. Big hug

hey Charl..

you're not being negative ...your allowed to have feelings ..

I am so glad you have contacted netline and had a chat if your bf is away...

Just get it all out if you can hun ..on here or if its too personal with the netline again..just dont be alone Charl...

You are not selfish or pathetic and no one on here will ever think that ...I promise.'

When we are tired our defences are low and we need to look after ourselves and be kind to ourselves even more..

Try and get some sleep Charlotte and make sure you are not alone ..or maybe give one of your family a text or call just to touch base with them.

Take it easy...keep safe .

R and D xx

Charlotte.

What is most important here is you.

Take a step aside, take the positives, there are lots and lots of them.

You have a wonderful daughter, a bf whom you have a great relationship with, you have aside from that yourself a job and lots of support in many forms.

Do take great pride from all this and strength.

Pull over to rachel's gamcare service station, get some well earnt rest, you earnt it, through the relentless effort and courage you give yourself.

Something that helped me out in recovery a great deal was a post on ade's diary. A story "a jar of mayonnaise and two beers" it may help you see things differently.

Most of all be kind to yourself.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Charl hun keep fighting you are strong. You helped me at my darkest hour got me through. I am here for you night or day I will do whatever I can to help you. I have never seen you this low and I know your mood was extremely low at chat. We were all concerned when you left even Grah was worried about you. Please keep your chin up and keep posting. Take good care hun x

Charlotte,

How are you my lovely you! Sound's like you are doing ok. Keep it strong.

I promise, I booked two weeks off in November and will read through your diary as it will help me too. You are amazing you know that!

Pete.xxx

Yo,

Hi honey sorry to hear you are really down at the moment . I found that I have had some pretty low pionts over the past year . When the dark clouds descended and life was really tough . I was sooooo unhappy . I had stopped gambling but still found that these low episodes would take over me . Not sure why totally understand how you are feeling atthe moment .

All I can say , is that they passed , it took four five days but I would come out the other side .

It's been quite a while since I have had one , so if you are the same as me , maybe just maybe these will become few and far between .

Sending you a big big hug , think you are amazing , think you have the biggest heart , and so much determination to fight what is thrown at you .

Keep going honey , I will be thinking about you .

Shiny xxxx

Hiya Charlotte

How you feeling this morning?....did you get some rest?

As Shiny says 'this too will pass"....you are not alone charlotte and those dark days sometimes consume us and we dont want to be here anymore.

Thats the time we have to go against our instinct to isolate and to keep connected even just on a one to one.

Im thinking your bf may be back soon and that today might bring some blue sky through the cloud..

It will pass Charlotte I promise..keep trusting and believing...

(((((C)))))))

R and D xx

R and D xx