I can't change my past - only my future.

Hi Ste_ven,

Well done for resisting and not playing that credit!

That shows ur true strength and determination 2 beat this!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

As always, your comments are appreciated 🙂

Feeling good today, work is good just now, doesn't pay much, but given the current climate out there i'm thankful to be in full time employment.

Been trying to be good diet wise as well, treated myself to 2 pints the other night - even that sometimes would've spilled into 5 or 6, but no.

Focused on the job in hand, and find myself positive about things on a day to day basis - haven't felt this good in ages.

No lottery tonight either, not even £1 - it's still in my pocket. That goes towards lunch tomorrow.

Hi Steven,

Thanks for popping on my diary appreciate the support.

Well done on what you have achieved so far, i had quite a few urges yesterday so I am also trying to remain focused.

Keep at it , one day at a time

Blondie day 23

So 1 week without gambling in any form passes - how do I feel? How SHOULD I feel??

I thought about a lottery ticket tonight, ***** - 18 £1 million prizes, 18 times the chance, and 18 times the number of players won't play, so slightly greater chance of being lucky tonight.....

I didn't do it, the £2 coin is still in my pocket. Felt good at the time, now i'm not really bothered. It's weird to be honest - 98% of my day it doesn't even occur to me that i'm making an effort to avoid it - it's the 2% that is set to test us all.

All the best to everyone that has posted so far on my diary. Believe that you can overcome it - we are all proof that it is possible!!

Hi Stev,

Well Done so far you are doing great!

Know what you mean about lottery, thought crossed my mind today but like all the rest another bet wasted, yes someone has to win but the odds are stacked against us and would only lead us CG into more trouble!

You are keeping strong!

Keep going mate, i'm listening to some old tunes on the radio and it reminds me of good times!

They will come again even if they are 20 years later

Smiling Lucy

Hi Stev,

Well Done so far you are doing great!

Know what you mean about lottery, thought crossed my mind today but like all the rest another bet wasted, yes someone has to win but the odds are stacked against us and would only lead us CG into more trouble!

You are keeping strong!

Keep going mate, i'm listening to some old tunes on the radio and it reminds me of good times!

They will come again even if they are 20 years later

Smiling Lucy

Ok, so i've been paid a few days earlier than expected... and it's a Saturday. When I realised it I can be honest and say that my first thought was NOT ABOUT GAMBLING!! It was about enjoying myself tonight, having a few drinks.

I know I must remain on guard today, and I will use my willpower to prevent any lapses if that demon visits me today. I will be back tomorrow to keep myself, if nothing else, updated on my progress for today.

Now i'm telling myself to keep it going Steven!!!!

Good to see that you are fighting the gambling but please be aware that it will almost certainly lie in wait for you and then suddenly jump out to confront you.

Many of us have experienced the early days of stopping. Usually it is hard then becomes rather easier than we thought before we then get complacent and think well it would not hurt to go back to it because I am in control now. The truth is it will hurt and you are not in control of it.

Keep moving forward as you are doing really well at the moment.

All the best

Stumper

So I gambled. I failed. I feel terrible for it. I was so positive... It has me by the balls.... so gutted.

Hi Steven

In on way av u failed u av take great guts and courage to come back on and try again so quickly my first relapse took me a month and the results were disastrous

U will learn so much from this look at the positives of how u managed to stop and how it made u feel , relapsing is just part of the process in our recoveries and happens to nearly all of us so please don't beat urself up I assure u no one will feel any worse of u only pride like myself for realising and wanting to beat this awful disease

We are all here for u

Castle2

Sorry to read you feel that you have failed but trust me that lapse could be the best thing in the long term as you now feel rotten about yourself and this could and should help you move further forward this time. So what if you fail over and over again as long as you are trying.

Never give up trying to stop.

All the best

Stumper

HI Steven,

Your not the first person to have a slip and you wont be the last, you have to try and learn something from this and come back stronger to beat this addiction, we are sick people trying to get better, not bad people trying to be good.

I didnt like the person i was but i sure like the person im becoming, give yourself some time, dont be hard on yourself, your human and we get it wrong sometimes.

Get the blocks in place, carry minimual money, gam block software, self exclusio, if you want to quit these will help you when the urges come, and they will come again but each time i fight them i feel stronger.

Keep at it mate, its so worth it.

Blondie

score so far Blondie=32, gambling demons a big fat zero

You have done really well Steven , you might be back to day one but its time to start building the days again , remember to keep posting each day and to keep reading to remind you why you are stopping.

Did you take my advise and arrange some sessions ?

No John, I didn't arrange sessions....

I'm currently 10 days gamble free, purely because i've barely had the money to live on (i.e. get to work). I've also not had a drink in the same time - i know my trigger...

I'm still struglling with myself, I really struggle to ignore the years of my life i've wasted, the years it will take to make things better.

I'm still in work, so all is not lost in that front, but i'm in a deepening hole, and I do not see my way out.

Steven

Do not feel disappointed about the relapse as that will not help you get back onto the gamble free lifestyle. Unfortunately gambling is all around us (adverts/sport etc) and there will probably be a temptation to gamble most days.

You now just have to get back on the gamble free road and start from day 1. We've all done it so we know how hard it is, but believe in yourself as we all believe you can do it.

Regards

Craig