27 july 2024
Im in vacation... burning holiday money and first necessities of my family
During the night i dreamed of betting, as soon as i wake up i lock myself in the bathroom and play black jack... all day i think like getting all the lost money backup, i still play and i win! Yes i'm good, if I use my strategy , if i check i'll male it up to recovery everything... yes there the Olympics, i play and win a good bet... i play again and lose... i have to recovery but at the moment there is no event, but there is always black jack available... i play and lose everything!
My son ask me to fix a game for him and i burst into tears.
My partner repaired my son's shoes... i fell like a nullity
I'm holding everything to myself , i know it's wrong, but I don't want to give pain to people close me... i know that i'm not honest, but I don't have the strenght to be honest.
Maybe im writing here now because i dream of being to reread this a more peaceful day and having forgiven myself and I cant keep everything to myself now...
Mentally and phisically i'm devastated!
I have already experienced this hundred of times... but after some time of abstinence I will play again... i am a stupid man.
Fabrizio
@3nck4gvq80 hi Fabrizio. Como estas?
Lo siento I think you are more Italian than Spanish.
Fabrizio, you are a good man.
You also have a mental health issue over gambling. I am sure that you are a family man and would do anything for them.
Please talk to you family. They can support you more than you realise.
Whatever you are going through please put blocks in place. Block your bank transactions, sign up to Gamstop.
All the best
Hi
For me the gambling was a form of escape.
By going to meetings I got to understand that I was emotionally vulnerable.
Often people in recovery will switch from one addiction to another addictionor escape in to unhealthy obsessions.
By going to meetings I got to understand that I was in effect causing my self and others pains.
I am non religious yet understand that when I am being unhealthy I go against my own conscience.
I was a very emotionally vulnerable person yet deep down I knew I was a survivor.
By going to meetings I got to understand that I could live my live without gambling.
By going to meetings and by abstaining that I got to understand that I could heal the hurt inner child in me.
Just for today I will not gamble.
Just for today I do not want or need to gamble.
Dave L
You are not a stupid man, it gets a grip & you get hooked. Gambling is a disease.
Talk to your partner, it's very hard but you need support.
I told mine & my eldest who is 19 & it has helped, they will calm down but it is a shock for them.
But talk about it
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