I use to stress my self out before during and even after Christmas. This is was a very unhealthy habit. I missed out of emotional intimacy with the ones I oved and with my self.

Hi

By escaping to my unhealthy addictions at Christmas I was not only cheating my self and my family I was also causing my self more pains and more fears.

Why allow my self to get stressed out at Christmas.

So by identifying my fears I reduced them.

I made a lsit on my computer of people addresses for envelopes.

I got the Christmas cards before December the 1st and got them written in and ready to post.

I made out lists of people I wanted to buy presents for.

Procrastaining I simple made things much worse and stressed my self out.

Each year doing the same things and by the time I got to Christmas I was emotionally traumatized in very unhealthy ways.

So the decision to do some thing about it.

So the decision to make healthy choices with my life.

So the decision to not procrastinate, to not allow fears to inhibit me from getting things done.

Yet again to write down my needs my wants and my goals.

Then to understand when I bought presents was it our of guilt shame or regret.

Was it possible to buy presents not from person pleasing, not from guilt or shame, not to buy peoples freindship.

I asked my wife what love was.

Shirley told me that love is giving of your self uconditionally with out any expectations what so ever.

How do you do that I thought.

How can I find peace in my self.

How can I heal more fo the hurt inner child in me.

How can I become compleetely fearless in every avenue of my life.

Fear restricted me in so many ways it disabled me.

At what point would I exchange my unhealthy habits in to much healthier habits.

Love healing and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham