Hiya folks!
Goodness me, so much has happened to me in those 18 days, 7 hours and 35mins now!
I must first of all say, Gamcare has been amazing, I have a regular slot now for a counsellor to help me and the advice given in the forums from other people like me has been amazing, thank you all.....!
Of course, there is a very very long way to go, and I am only just starting on my gambling recovery, but at least I am on that very steep mountain now.
Since my last bet, not only have I spoken to Gamcare, and other people, but I am now sleeping so much better, never ever underestimate what a good night sleep can do to you, not just mentally but physically aswell! I am starting to lose weight and since my last bet I have lost 11 pounds, which is nearly a stone!
My heart goes out to each and every other person suffering from the gambling addiction, it really is a horrible illness and the only advice I can give is to talk to people on here or a trusted family member, the weight that lifted off my shoulders when I opened up to my parents about the last 18 months, oh my goodness, I could breathe again, the last 18 months have just been a blur, a big lie, a big cover up, every phone conversation to my parents, I was having to be careful what to say to them so I didn't slip up and tell them about my gambling it was just horrible!
Anyway, enough about me...! I just wanted to share my journey with you all.
Oh look its been 18 days, 7 hours and 40mins now! 😉
All the best
Jon.
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Thats great Jon
The main thing is that you are here and you recognise that you have been a compulsive gambler with an addiction.
My best advice is that the days will rack up with the right born again foundations in place.
However the focus becomes less about counting the days and more that you can never be complacent for the rest of your life.
I have learned that its about the serenity to realise that Ive always got to keep monitoring my feelings and face who I am
I look at my days now and they have a limited meaning because I am focused that the addiction had me for forty years. I am focused that it was my go to drug addiction to escape my anxieties and fears.
It was easy for me to get bitter and I realised I had become bitter and depressed. I was depressed as a kid and thats why gambling got me early
One of my main pastimes is facing myself and realising Im a good lad who got lost in a world that can seem very cruel. Ive had therapy and gambling was also a way to punish myself for feeling  a failure. It was actually form of self harm and thats why it was so complex
So take it easy and I would say one of the biggest challenges in recovery is realising who you actually are and putting your life into some sort of positive focus.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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