Last Gamble 30th August 2009

hello jim, well we are all on here to help. you have taken the first step by admitting your problem wishing you all the best and keep posting it does help. good luck

Hi I am in the same boat trying to stop the last 10 years. Knowing I have a problem.

Trouble with problem gambling addiction is that it is a 'progressive illness'. Things seem to get worse financially and emotionally the longer you keep doing it. I have only become in serioous financial difficulty in the last 3-4 years (all from gambling).

In a way I am glad I have reached breaking ground and have felt so depressed at times of relapse have felt like ending it all! But there is light when you start to stay off the gambling. You really realise how much the gambling was controlling you....

You are making the right steps by cutting off the access to funds.

Cash only cards are always a good idea for staying off online betting. I do like most regret ever getting into this mess and hurting others with the stress and worry over me. Almost as worrying as the gambling itself.

You really do reach a point and say enough is enough and finding that any bet is just emotionless and no pleasure is gained anymore.

In particular I do not want gambling to ruin my Chrtistmas/New Year period like it has done the last couple of years as the addiction has escalated out of control.

One of the most important things is to recognise the signs in oneself at times of stress etc which may trigger a relapse and become better at handling the emotions.

The hardest thing is to learn to look at yourself and how to improve your own life!

I will follow your recovery here.

Awayout

Thanks for the support, your comments are appreciated more than I can express. The bit I am intimidated by - is the time that you forget the agony caused by the gambling. Which is why I intend to use this diary to log how much it hurts and also to get some help off the kind members of this site to keep on going.

Day 2 was pretty good, working all day which kept my mind busy, home now to my wonderful wife.

One day at a time,

Thanks.

Hi Dazzler

Think about tomorrow when it comes and plan your day. You have to keep everything in the day. Make sure you keep busy and don't dwell on things that have gone by. Enjoy your day for what you can get from it. Life without gambling is very good. It can sometimes be rotten but it soon passes.

Take care and keep posting

Steve E

Sounds like good advice Steve... Thank you. Today has been a good day. I have enjoyed work and I am looking forward to seeing my wife.

Day 3 isn't so bad after all, not going anywhere else and nothing planned for tomorrow. All sounds good.

Cheers All.

I wanted to give in a couple of times today, but didn't. I have to remember how s**t I felt on Sunday morning. I hate gambling it is the worst part of me, and I will not gamble today or tomorrow!

At the beginning I think we all get that giving in feeling, is it really worth it our heads say to us.

Well it is worth it and it won't be long, before you will notice the effects of a gamble free life. No more of that gut wrenching feeling when you have lost more than you can afford and for me, it made me a happier person with less broken or sleepless nights worrying if I could survive till the end of the month.

It's very early days, but we all have to start from the beginning, just think it will be a whole week in just a couple of days. Keep busy and keep posting and just remember that horrible gut wrenching feeling.

Thanks Stephen, I will try an remember that.

I know the exact Gut wrenching feeling you describe..... I wonder is that feeling the same for everyone, the one when your stomach turns over.

It's the weekend which is always where I have faltered in the past few attempts. I will not faulter this weekend and I know I will feel better for it.

The only real noticible difference so far is the amount of work I am getting through in a day, I feel much more positive with that regard than I have for years.

Tomorrow will be the first gambling free Saturday for a long time.... I honestly cannot wait.

I dont intend to post until Monday... so have a great weekend everyone.

Enjoy your Saturday for what it's worth. I have plenty going on. My little onr takes up most of my Saturday instead of spending time thinking of lies of why I am late coming home from work when I didn't even go to work. Lies after lies and now it's stopped. It feels good.

Take care

Steve E

Just checked my bank balance - Feel sick.

Day 6 here goes; I will not gamble.

Hi Dazzler

Don't feel that sick. Feel pleased that it could have been twice as bad. You have now started to address the issues and it will, in time, get better.

Take care

Steve E

hi dazzler

well done on nearly a week free of gambling! I have just started day 1 again so you are doing 7 times better than me at the moment keep going

Georgie

I have made it through to Day 9 , Yaay!

Strange thing is I feel quite miserable, I don't normally - so I think it must be withdrawl symptoms or just the reality of what I have been doing dawning.

I am pleased but miserable?!?

Anyway double figures tomorrow, Day 10 - I will not gamble.

Hi just to say I can relate to feeling 'withdrawal symptoms' after stopping the bookies.

I am excluded from all my local ones. Something I think I really never thought I would do.

It feels really surreal that I can no longer place a bet or be tempted from places where I have been betting on and off for years.

Anyways keep in there you are doing well!

Awayout