Life begins again

Hey Suzanne thanks very much for your continued support on my diary.

Sorry to hear of your troubles last week hope you still have a lovely break and hope all was well this evening.

Morning Suzanne.
470 days what a nice round number.
Fantastic. You inspire me.
Have a great Tuesday.
Luv Steve xxx

Hi Suzanne

Hope the CT scan went ok.

Paul

Thanks for your posts all, very much appreciated xx

Good morning diary,

Lol Steve 470 is a very nice round number indeed,

Lots of thoughts yesterday, while at work, at home, and even when I went to bed lol.

Not to gamble, but thoughts of the damage I have done, not just financially, (still very heavy in gambling debt) sad thoughts of how this addiction crucified me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and how it therefore did the same to my OH, oh he is fine now ( on the surface) but his scars can be seen at times, and it just makes me sad at times, that I did this to him.

He is really looking forward to our next holiday, he knows I am upset about the girls not coming, and he is being extra loving, jeez I still don't feel like I deserve all his love and support, but I will push through these negative thoughts, as I am not going to spoil his well earned break, as I said no gambling thoughts at this time, the flashbacks and thoughts of playing online slots make me feel sick to the stomach at this time, so I will take that as a big positive even though I am feeling quite negative today.

I know my mood will change quickly, I am feeling tired today, due to not a lot of sleep and thinking of the devastation I caused,

Get work out the way today, clean a couple of windows lol, and my day will turn out nice again.

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and happy gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne hows tricks? Sounds like a rough enough day, its always a bummer without a good nights sleep. Try not beat yourself up about your past mistakes as its what you do now that counts, you've helped countless people on this forum with the affliction. 470 days is remarkable and an inspiration to all strugglers who just are struggling to go a day or a week without a gamble that it can be done! It can be beaten! Good luck with the window cleaning later ! gav

Good morning,

Thank you for your diary post. Hoping your day gets better and giving those windows a clean!!! Wouldn't be my first choice. Lol

Best wishes x

No competition. Voddy v Windows!!!!!. Enjoy. Whisky is my tipple.

Cheers x

Good morning diary,

471 amazing days into my roller coaster recovery journey,

A good nights sleep and waking up to a beautiful blue sky, (and this costs absolutely nothing) makes my choice so easy today,

No gambling, the addiction hates my positivity, I luv it.

Wishing everyone a positive, strong and calm gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Great post Suzanne, anyone thinking of giving up gambling should read your post, the scars of gambling are terrible and the sooner they get on the wagon the better.

Paul

Hi,

As Paul says a great post. You continue to inspire.

Was the good nights sleep voddy induced?

Best wishes xx

Morning Suzanne.
471 is another lovey odd number lol.
Have a great sunny day.
Steve xxx

The addiction does hate your positivity but everyone else thrives on it !

Four hundred and seventy one days of winning.

Hope I can tread the same path and appreciate you still staying close to the site and the 2015 challenge to show us it can be done.

Clare 🙂

Good morning diary.

472 days of starving this horrible addiction. that can turn us to gambling which just does one thing if we let it, self destruct us in every way.

On that note, my choice for today is easy again, abstaining and maintaining, simply by saying a big fat NO to gambling, (my addiction hates that)

Last day at work til 25th, going away for a week on Saturday with OH and doggie, so that's very very positive indeed lol.

Recovery gives me good and bad days, but when I was gambling, every day was a bad day, Infact every day was a mess and total

S***e the last 18 months, don't honestly know how I coped, but dear diary, I am not just coping with my recovery, I am beginning to thrive and grow in it, now that is another big positive. HDs indeed.

Wishing everyone a happy, positive and sane gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Good morning and (as always) strong insparational words. Keep saying no - we all know it makes sense.

You are coping with your diary, coping with life and showing this addiction what you really think of it.

Enjoy your day.

Best wishes xx

Morning Suzanne.
472 days wow. Roll on the holiday.
Have a great day.
Steve xxx