Life begins again

Good morning on your 514th day.
Remember Toro Loco!
Have a great day.
Luv Steve xxx

Thanks for your continued support and words of encouragement. You're right, patience is the key. I'm realising that unlearning behaviours is a slow, gradual process. As I understand more about myself I am more able to make changes, and by not gambling I am gifting myself a calmer, more peaceful mind.Happy days 🙂

Thanks for being honest in your own diary. It was a bit of a shock for me to read that after all this time you still had the niggles of 20, 50, 100 wont hurt. I guess I don't know how it feels to be on 500 plus days, but in my mind I was thinking that all thoughts of gambling would be gone. I don't know why....it's written all over this forum that it can strike at any time and to always remain vigilant. It's important for me to realise that even when someone is really strong in their recovery (as you are) that old devil isn't too far away.

Have a great, gamble free day.

LifeBegins x

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Haha Steve, won't forget lol.

Good morning diary,

514 today, and last day of my working week HDs

I certainly don't live for work anymore I work to live 0))))

The stress of a 50 hour stressful week, with doing every shift going, sometimes finishing at 11pm at night and being back at 6am next morning, yes I was on good money, but what was the point it all went on gambling and more.I worked all those hours to feed my addiction, and as the addiction progressed my hard earned wasn't enough, so inevitably the heavy debt slowly grew, through loans, credit cards and those bloody awful PD loans, never mind what I sold and stole from OH.

It seems so utterly obserb now to me that I actually did all this, and ended up in such a mess, (still owe 20000 grand out) but not worried about that and haven't since I set up my own payment plan,

Sometimes it's like I am looking back at someone I just don't know, but that's ok it's a permanent reminder to me as to how close I was to totally self destructing.

I only earn half now to what I was earning and do you know what dear diary, I am better off financially, mentally, physically, in fact every way round and learning things about me that I know I would probably never have bothered to understand, had I not found my

recovery journey, How positive and motivating is that, very I would say

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and self wellbeing day.

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne ! Cheers for the encouragement and at least the milk's good for my teeth ? LOL ! Keep up the good work x Alan who will not gamble today !!!

Good morning.

Love the positive post above. What addiction???. You have picked that up and given it a right good kick right out of sight.

Have a fab Friday

Best wishes x

"Sometimes it's like I am looking back at someone I just don't know"....

I'm sure that resonates with many of us.

Hi

​Suzanne,

Thanks for the message & yes indeed well done me! As you know I'm not a fan of day counting as it's always seemed to me to be making a competition out if it & as an addict comparing myself with others never used to work out to well for me in the past. Although over 8 years since last placing a bet I am still the same distance potentially away from my next one as any one else &that's the important thing to remember if our motivation for change is to continue. However I appreciate your kindness in thinking of me you really are one if the most selfless & empathetic people I have come across. So well done you xx

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Hi Suzanne

I took your advice last week Blondie...at least I thought did lol..when you advised me to KWTW..I thought I should..keep winning the weekend, or keep winning the war..then just noticed a MASSIVE clue in your previous post and I should have kept walking the walk ;-))...still I got there in the end Blondie lol..I'm pleased to report I achieved all 3,HD'S...keep that positivity going Suzanne...OAU..the Ginger one x

Thanks Suzanne, yes it does feel better to have got it all off my chest. I've got a tendency to let thoughts go round and around in my head, so using my diary to unload them all def helps.

Glad, but not suprised, to see that you're still doing so well.I love your positive post above. You're an inspiration 🙂

LifeBegins x

Good morning diary,

Had a good day yesterday with LM, had use of our car so we went shopping at theWR, a shopping indoor mall, to be honest don't go to these places much as the shops are sooo expensive, used to before my addiction took hold.0(((

I actually purchased myself a winter coat(Parker style and two jumpers) (ok there was a Primarky there) and this is where I purchased them from 0))) but I felt so chuffed with myself afterwards because I spent money on me, and did not feel guilty about buying myself something afterwards, this is another big step forward for me, still at work in progress with actually having money now, still get panicky about it at times, but to buy stuff for me and not feel guilty or panicky is quite a biggie for me at this time.

Treated LM too, couple of tea shirts and shorts (he is off to Spain next Saturday with his mum) I also threw in a happy Macy's meal

for us, (yes diary one each0))) and still had left over cash, so I put petrol in the car, OH was quite surprised on that one.

This addiction is not all about money, (feeding the addiction with every penny I had and even worse what I borrowed /stole and loaned, but money was the only ingredient I needed to play, ) but if it was about money I would have stopped after my first big loss0((so still worrying about money is bound to be there, in my recovery journey, but I am slowly but surely getting a healthy balance with living with money

Duncs post struck a chord with me this morning about how easy it was for me to give things away, when I wernt footing the bill, well I am now, footing all my bills and purchases with my money and my addiction hates that, how positive is that.

Wishing everyone a happy, positive and strong gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Proud of you Suzanne

Your one of my inspirations on here. A real citrine gem xx

Tri

Hi,

As I found out yesterday as well it is nice to spend a couple of pounds on you and yours and not having to worry about it from a gambling viewpoint. Well done you.

Enjoy your Saturday night.

Best wishes x

Good morning diary

Abstaining is getting easier and easier at this time, even the tiniest of niggles are getting even tinier lol.and this just enhances my recovery, even the adverts don't bother me now, no strong feelings when they pop up on every advert break at this time, even OH has stopped making sarcastic comments about them, (well most of the time lol).

Wishing everyone a strong positive and calm gambling free Monday

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne. Thanks for your comment, I think I needed to get that out in order to go forward and feel much better having done so . Feeling very positive and life's good !, Have a fabulous gamble free day darling . Best wishes Alan x

Yes. A hug from ODAAT...miracles do happen! 🙂 🙂

It must be a good feeling to be able to spend some money on yourself and not feel guilty. You've earnt it and you deserve it, so I'm glad you enjoyed. And you got a lot for it, so that's all good 🙂 Although, a shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon?? Must have been heaving! Not my idea of fun.

Here's to another great, gamble free Monday.

LifeBegins x