Life begins again

But I can never give up trying to be the person I no I am. A nice person and a good dad its just the gambling has got in the way and totally messed up my life. But I think about my daughter she 8 now when she older I don't want her thinking her dad a waster and wants nothing to do with me. That would be unbearable. Im only 33 still got time to turn my life around

Thanks again for your support Suzanne

Graeme x

evening Suzanne

Great to see you are still gifting yourself the ability to be a Winner

It comes with great effort I know,but the rewards are plain to see

For them be proud.

I hope those hounds have gone to a good home.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Good morning diary

146 days and getting stronger wiser and even more determined now by the day

I got my redundancy letter at work yesterday, I have another six weeks to work there and then it will be on to another new beginning.

It's been a long drawn out process, but I have the result that I wanted and so I feel very relieved this morning to have a conclusion.

It's funny I was made redundant 8 years ago last Feb and that is when my gambling online started, for the first year I really enjoyed my gambling thinkng It was all totally innocent and fun.(I was in debt by the end of that first year and even worse it did not worry me)

I have said. Few times on this thread that I have gambled for 8 years but 7 were the years I was hooked, I am not going to kid myself anymore I wS hooked from day 1, so my addiction has been for 8 years not 7 .

This second redundancy is going to turn my life even more around because I am going to do the total opposite with my money NOT EVEN ONE PENNY OF IT WILL BE SPENT ON ANY FORM OF GAMBLING

I bought a car with some of my last redundancy money, only to sell it two years later to pay debts off.

I will not go down that self destructive road again.

On a happier note, I have 3 days off now and today OH and me are going to my sons for Sunday roast, now that will make a change, I am looking really looking forward to a nice family day where I don't have to cook lunch and wash up lol.

Yes diary everything is looking good strong and positive today and a few drinks won't go amiss either.

Abstaining and maintaining taking one day at a time to a much much better way of life.

Wishing everyone a happy positive and peaceful gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne

Thanks for your continued support 🙂

Great to gear your redundancy will be used in a positive way then, one door closes another one opens in life. I wish you well done for abstaining for such a long time, really great to be able to witness it. Take care of yourself and remains strong. Dark Place xx

Good morning Suzanne!

Day 147 and fantastic to hear that you had the news you wanted. I am so pleased for you. Keep up the great work and keep winning! You are a winner!!

Steve xxx

Thanks DP and Steve x

Good morning diary

147 days 21 weeks of abstaining maintaining and winning.

Had a lovely day at sons yesterday, a few drinks and a Sunday roast, that's what Sundays are for.

Day off today, will browse through the jobs situation to see what is on offer, but not panicking yet lol, just so relieved I am getting out of my present job, have not enjoyed the job for over 2 years now so it's a good time to go especially now I am recovering from gambling because another trigger will be erased and that is very positive.

Gambling still remains at the back of my mind waiting to pounce at the first chance but again today I am in control and making the right choice to keep winning by abstaining and maintaining.

As each day mounts up I can honestly say it is getting easier to dismiss any thoughts almost instantly I cut them off before they have finished talking to me, if that makes sense.

Have kept my wages in my bank since pay day and have had no more temptation than when I was drawing all my wages out after bills and debts, and that is another big positive for me.

PD Debts are still very daunting but they are going down and another one will be paid off next payday.

I will keep going taking one day at a time and keep winning one day at a time. Life is sooo much happier healthier and saner without the destruction of gambling so why would I want to go back, well I do not and I will not go back.

Onwards forwards and upwards is the way to go for me and my family and it feels sooo good

Wishing everyone a positive, sane and peaceful gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Wow, you're doing brilliantly. An inspiration to everyone on here. Noticed you'd taken the time to post a few times on my diary and really just wanted to return the favour. All I can say, is that I once went for over a year, and then slipped back into my old habits. Never let your good work here unravel, stay focused and always be alert. Slipping after such a long time away from it completely knocked me for six, more so than after slipping after only a few days or so.

I'm sure you wont though. You sound determined and happy, why change that? Enjoy your freedom!

Suzanne

You are becoming an inspiration for so many on here and I couldn't be happier for you , the support you give to so many is endless and in return its visible to see how it strengthens your own recovery

Ultimately that's all that matters

Thanks for your continued support

Castle2

Morning Suzanne

Well done on the gambling free days, just ditto what Castle said as your support is endless and your resolve in your recovery is inspirational.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

148 days. Just wow xxx

Good morning diary

148 days of feeling healthier saner and happier, why, because I have been winning for 148 days, even just a tenner a day on gambling would be 1480 now, that I would have deposited and lost and believe me I deposited more than a tenner a day, so reversing the tenner a day means I have actually saved 1480 and have reduced my debt mountain instead of adding to it.

To go back would be utter madness, it's not just the money it's my health,sanity, family and not at all least my very patient OH who has suffered so much.

I don't feel on top of the world. and I still don't trust myself, but slowly and surely I am getting healthier, happier and saner and being more kind to me.

That has to be a big positive for me.

Abstaining and maintaining taking one day at a time

Forwards and upwards

Wishing everyone a happy healthy and sane gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Hi S

Great going on a gamble free days. Keep making the right choice and winning the fight. Upwards and onwards is the only way to go.

Have a good day

Sandra x

Suzanne

Thanks for popping by yesterday

I know where addiction sit's today,upon one shoulder,in truth it will be there for life whispering sweet nothings in my ear whenever it thinks I might listen.

Like you I turn up the life music,it drowns out the rubbish,bul#lsh#it addiction dribbles.

For me the financial loss is the least important thing about gambling today,that was just the fuel to feed the compulsion,it is the mental torture,the self gifted mind f**k that I refuse to gift myself

Heck why would we!!

We are winning,the stake??

Not a single penny!!!!

That feels great to write.

Thanks for sharing,keep taking your share

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Good morning diary

149 days and not even one penny spent on any form of gambling, so therefore I am winning.

Back to work this morning after 3 days off, as in all weekend, but hey not many more weekends lol.

Gambling WAS a total waste of my time, money, and life, and it certainly affected my health and sanity, so I will keep abstaining and maintaining one day at a time

Slowly but surely to a much much better life for me and my family and that feels sooo good today.

Wishing everyone a happy positive and strong gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne!

One more day to the big 150. Amazing!

Have a great day in work.

Steve xxx