Life begins again

Morning Suzanne.

165 days and an inspiration to all on here!

Hope you have a lovely day and a great weekend.

Steve xxx

Good morning diary,

165 days of not spending a single penny on any form of gambling so that is 165 days of getting my life back.

Late shift today, and then have a day off tomorrow, and then working again on Sunday, 3rd one in a row, so no family day again, but hey sons in Egypt any way on holiday so wouldn't see him anyway, and little man is in Lanzarote and the rest of my family are all down South.

I am looking forward to going down to my sons, when my job finishes for a few days.

Looking only forwards now, even if some days are tough to get through.

I am making that right choice today NO GAMBLING for me, that is in the past, onwards and forwards and looking forward to my future taking one day at a time, I will make it gamble free, why on earth would I want to do otherwise. well,I don't.

I have huge respect for every individual on this forum going through this journey, and I sincerely wish everyone a strong positive and peaceful gambling free day.

I WILL WIN TODAY BECAUSE I AM NOT PLAYING TODAY.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne

Well done, getting closer to the 6 months marker now. Your passion to beat this shines through more every day but I know you also work hard making each day gamble free. Keep strong and stay focused

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi Suzanne,

Well done on 165 gamble free days, and again, good to see you are still very positive and enjoying your new life away from gambling.

Keep smiling

James

To Shaun, Lifeswinner, Gazza(bring it on) andJess.

If any of you still read the forum, I would love to hear how you are all doing, You all helped me sooo much in my early weeks on here, and you have all disappeared,

Just want to say Thankyou for helping me get this far, and I hope you are all well and kicking that gambling addiction into oblivion.

Best wishes,

Suzanne xx

166 days wow.

have a great weekend.

Steve xxx

166 days wow.

have a great weekend.

Steve xxx

Good morning diary,

Day 166 of sanity and living in the real world.

Day off today at last, just going to have a quiet peaceful normal day, as back in work tomorrow.

Gambling will not be on the agenda, because I have made that right choice again today to keep abstaining and maintaining, one day at a time.

Wishing everyone a peaceful, normal and strong gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne,

Congrats on 166 gamble free days you are 150 days ahead of my, you must be feeling so proud of yourself this morning, and deservedly so.

keep strong and enjoy your day off.

Pat

Thanks Pat, for your kind words, Yes I am keeping strong but No have not enjoyed my day off.

Dear diary,

Was very confident this morning when I did my daily post, this gives me positivity to get through each day, but WOW what a last 3 hours I have had.

After chilling, and me time with OH I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to play, the thoughts were so very positive to play, I can't even explain it.

The f*****g addiction was giving ME positive thoughts to put a tenner on, I cannot believe after 166 days my mind is doing this to me.

The positivity of playing has been the strongest yet, and it has taken all my willpower to refrain from putting a tenner on.

It really has been a battle for the last 3 hours, I was not stressed, bored, or had any other triggers, so where did it come from???

I want to enjoy my days off I do not want to play, I make that choice each morning, give me some peace and leave me alone please.

So another day off ruined by fighting off this awful addiction, thank you very much, but you have not won, because I did not put that tenner on and I have no intention of doing do, I will increase my barriers, anything to stop you.

Sorry if this is negative diary, must remember 166 days and the urge at it's strongest,(so far) f*****g addiction,

I will never underestimate this addiction, it is so sly like a slug moves slowly, but once attached eats you alive, if you let it.

Going to have a drink now, as my addiction knows I don't play when I have a drink, because I have to be in control,

Biggest joke going, because I was never in in control when losing.

After 6 months I really want peace of mind, I am doing my best and I am 100% never want to go back, I make that choice every day, so where did my thoughts come from today.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne,

A big well done for overcoming that urge. Funnily enough I just logged on to read some diaries after fighting a major urge myself. I've got 100 left in my current account to last me till the end of the month and I was really tempted to go to the bookies to play roulette. Horrible thoughts, because like you, this morning I was feeling so positive. Just writing all this down I helping to calm me - sorry if I'm rambling on your diary!

I guess this is where having as many blocks in place as possible helps, because the harder it is to play the more time you can buy yourself to fight off the urge.

Hope your day isn't completely ruined. Be proud that you fought off the urge and take that thought into the evening. Be kind to yourself.

Paul

well done suzanne

very very very proud of you 🙂

tri xx

Hi Suzanne,

What a shocker of a day for you!

It came out of nowhere, only a few hours after your posting. That must have been your toughest day since the early few weeks.

Well done to you for dealing with it. Right now you could have begun the downward spiral which seems to happen so very often even after 6 months.

How cruel this addiction is !!

Looks like we can never let our guard down. That simple triangle always in place seems to hold the key.

Hopefully the urge has passed. I know you and I have read about it so often on the diaries but like you I thought there had to be a trigger like tiredness, stress etc.

The more we learn the more complex this addiction becomes.

Enjoy the rest of your day off and thanks for sharing your Recovery.

Suzy

Morning Suzanne

Wouldn't it be great if every day was easy but that's not life , you did exactly what you had to do and made the right choice but it does make you wonder where it came from , try to let it pass and think no more of it as i always remember my first 3 months gamble free flying along no urges then out of nowhere the urges came unfortunately I reacted on them , then got back on track the next nine months were hard staying gamble free but not enjoying life as it should

My point is don't live in fear of a relapse enjoy life to it's fullest its a tough journey that we are all making each one of us different , be proud your making it so when that odd day comes along don't think too much off it

Proud of you for making the right choice

Castle2

Good morning diary,

Thanks Tri, Paul, Suzy and castle for your supportive words on what started out as a good day off but was soon messed up with positive gambling thoughts that came from no where. And they were the strongest I have had since the beginning of my recovery.

Am a bit deflated this morning, as I went to bed early after a few drinks, and slept, so no gambling hangover thank goodness, but I do feel disappointed with my self for even having positive thoughts about that horrible addiction.

So it's 167 days today, am at work all day, but am very aware that these thoughts might come back.

Making that right and only choice again today, to keep abstaining and maintaining one day at a time, because I will never give up giving up, my barriers are stronger and I am holding on tight.

Wishing everyone a happy, peaceful and positive gambling free day.

Suzanne xx