Life With Sports Bets Only

Hi Captain,

I hope you’re ok, not heard from you in a couple of days ☹️
Nothing new or exciting to talk about this end. 

Went back to watching The Adulterer tonight as we finished Baptiste. That was ok, but a little slow. 

A new week starts tomorrow. I hope it’s a positive one for you. 

Speak soon,

Tizzy xx

Captain!! Hey, hey, hey!!!

Today was a day I was dreading. I had an abnormal smear result some weeks ago and had to go to an appointment and get “things” checked out in more detail ??? A doc confirmed there were some minor changes, she didn’t feel anything to worry about, but took biopsies just to double check. Result was reassuring enough for me. I’d been worried for the last few days, so, as you can imagine, glad to get that out of the way ?

We watched the Pact, another one of those that was just about “ok” but only just. Baptiste is maybe a tad better, but pretty slow, so mind you don’t nod off! Ummmm, The Adulterer, I think Iris is stunning. Her boyfriend Willem isn’t bad either ? I’m not sure if we’ve got one or two left to watch from the first series. Poor old Bjorn. But from the point we’re at, it’s looking like Daddy has made a deal which will get him out and off the hook. Not really sure about favourite character tbh. Still quite enjoying it. It’s a bummer you can’t get Homeland. But just bear it in mind sometime in the future, if you stumble across the opportunity of watching it. You won’t be disappointed!

I went to bingo yesterday afternoon, just played slots. Any one point I was over 1600 down. I walked out of there 570 down - it felt like a win believe me.  I only had that much cash because over my last 5 or 6 visits I’ve had some wins. Again I’ll admit, I know it’s not good, but it’s what I’m currently doing. No online playing, so am achieving what I initially intended to. 

How have you been on the scale 1-10? Anyone interesting on chat? I’ll probably pop in sometime. But for now, I’m really enjoying our communication. I have the occasional browse through some of the posts. 

Yes, payday Friday! Although I do have some cash currently in my account. Only because I’ve not started paying OH back yet - so it’s not really mine, if you know what I mean. Glad to hear you’ll be finally purchasing that battery ? will you treat yourself to anything else? 

Speak soon my friend,

Tizzy xxx

Hello again Captain, 

Thanks for your message. I really do enjoy reading them ?

I’m fortunate in that I don’t have any other debt. My OH hasn’t given me (or we haven’t discussed) when my debt to him should be paid back. I have however suggested £500 a month, but not started yet. I believe I’ve mentioned, I actually work for him ( if you can call it that) I probably spend around 4 hours a month working, he pays me £1100 a month. I guess he’s been too soft with me. He enjoys an occasional flutter on the slots at bingo, so has some understanding of the addiction, the “draw”. 

Can you remember your first encounter at the bookies? Is that where it all started? If thinking back is painful, no worries, just thought I’d ask. I can remember being around 10 and going to the seaside amusements. Margate at the time was a very busy town. Now it’s just a dump! Glad we moved from there. But I was always taken to amusements as a treat. I played the 2p pushers ha ha. We’d go to Butlins on holidays. As soon as we got there I couldn’t wait to go to the amusements! And it was always the same old story…. I’d blow my holiday pocket money on the first day! Although I do have fond memories of good times I had at Butlins that didn’t involve amusements. Boys for one ?

We didn’t watch The Adulterer tonight. We went to bingo, I won a little on the slots. 

Tomorrow Lulu is going for a pamper session at 9am. I’m baking a coffee cake for a friends birthday. Then I’m off to get my nails and feet painted at the local nail bar in the afternoon. 

We are going away on Friday. Visiting Liverpool for the weekend, my OH has family there. Then coming back down and staying at a lodge for a week. Nothing too exciting, but it’ll be a change of scenery for a few days. 

Sausage rolls, potatoes & beans is a definite improvement on scrambled eggs ?… did you have pudding? ?

Night night Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Greetings Captain from St Helens!

A journey that (on a very good run) could take three and a half hours, took us six and a half yesterday! Conditions were awful, but OH took it in his stride. I can drive, but prefer not to ?, but I’m always on hand if needed!

I used to work many more hours for OH, but since COVID etc things have slowed down a lot. He didn’t take me on with that rate of pay I can assure you. He’s pretty good, but not that good ?

Sadly I never had a career Captain. As a youngster I did a lot of waitressing. I also worked in quality control in a fruit factory. Then later I worked in a local Londis shop - which I really enjoyed. Then I met my OH and moved in with him. 

I have every intention of paying back my OH. He knows that. It will take a while, but he understands that. 

What do I do with my time? Not too much really. I love to cook and I cook lots from scratch. I look after my Grandson, and obviously go to bingo ?

Like you, I had some fantastic holidays at Butlins. I was also a Beaver! And yes, have some fantastic memories. Things were better then. I’ve been to Bognor, Skegness, Minehead, Pwllheli AND Barry Island, oh actually and Clacton!!! It was such a treat, and yes the famous “ballroom”. Do you remember The Showboat, for the evening entertainment? 

I won’t be gambling whilst we’re away. Definitely a non gambling break. We have our little doggy with us, and no way would we leave her on her own. 

With regard to your retirement and future, no doubt things will be very different from what you envisaged. But I think you have to make another “plan”.  You’ve said in the chat room about your house, and that the way things are currently you won’t be able to pay what you owe when you need to. Do you have any thoughts or options? Could you not rent out a room? Or rent out the house temporarily? I know you’re no fool Captain and have probably explored all options. When do you see yourself out of debt? My debts are relatively small compared to yours, but I can (as a CG) COMPLETELY understand how you could get yourself into such a hole. Your only option now is to gradually get yourself out. You are doing very well, all things considered and that is by no means meant to sound patronising. Half of the problem is the b******s that are only too quick to lend money! And charge extortionate interest rates. 

My OH has gone to visit his Mum today. She is in a care home. It’s very sad. So Lulu and I are just chilling at the hotel for a few hours. 

We had McDonalds for tea last night! I loved it lol. It was the second time we’d had a takeout in 16 months. The first time was the night before when we had fish and chips ??? I wasn’t going to cook the night before we were going away! 

We are visiting my sister in law later on. We all get along really well. They have 4 teenagers all living at home; I certainly don’t envy them. But we’ll be having another takeout for tea! I’m hoping for Thai, it’s my favourite. I too like desserts. Cheesecake is a good choice. I’d probably opt for chocolate though. 

I hope things are well with you. It’s definitely cooler at the moment so hopefully you’re sleeping better. 

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx

Greetings Captain,

We leave St Helens today and start heading “back daaan souf” to our lodge. 
Weather hasn’t been hot enough for the bikini as yet ?

Butlins, Beachcomber Bar rings a bell, as does Gaiety Theatre. They really were the days. Carefree, young, flirty, bumper cars. Wham music playing. Oddly enough I’m going back in the New Year for my daughter’s hen do. But I know it will be entirely different ☹️ 

I won’t be borrowing any more money from my OH. And I won’t be going back to online playing. Allowing myself to play slots at bingo makes it a lot easier to abstain from online. I know I keep saying it, but I really know continuing to play slots isn’t ideal, but I know in doing so I won’t get myself into any (further) debt. I remain in control. Yes, it’s still gambling and if and when it did start to go pear shaped I’d reassess my situation. 

My OH’s Mum has Alzheimer’s. It’s cruel. He lost his Father earlier this year and his Mum then had to go into care. I don’t think she recognises him anymore. Just sleeps a lot. An extremely sad way for a person to end up. 

Glad to hear you finally got your phone battery. Payday is extremely difficult for a CG. The times I’ve said to myself “just a little go” - there’s no such thing for a CG….EVER. 

I did make a start reading Agassi, but foolishly left it behind when we came away! Don’t laugh, or take the micky, but I watch Love island ??? there’s not a lot else on atm I consider worth watching. My Sister in Law suggested “High, confessions of a drug mule” it’s on BBC iplayer, she said it was pretty good. From what I can gather it’s part drama part reality. Not sure if that would interest you? 

Thank you for your phrase, totally agree. Here’s one for you:

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us”

Tizzy xxx

Hey Tizzy

Afternoon post as its a quiet day for me at work (better not speak too soon, there will be a big problem I need to deal with now I've said that ?

Good workout this morning, cycling, rowing. swimming, best for a few weeks. Get my physical exercise buzz at least. 

Does the lodge have a hot tub? Stayed at a few lodges with those, helps the relaxation...

I'm glad you are not getting any negative posts about your continued in control gambling on slots. As you know from my diary I got a lot of those in the past, but I have to say that there do seem to be a lot less volume of posts these days than in years gone by, not sure why. 

As well as payday being difficult, specific events and times of year can be difficult - football season starts next weekend. Many previous years I told myself in the summer I could live without gambling on football and not to start when the season began. Another voice said 'No, you are wrong - bet ONLY on football and you will be fine', the cycle of events and sports and trying to find my path went on for years.

After the battery, new running shoes are next on the Agenda. The existing ones are quite worn, faster than usual as more road running during lockdowns when Health club closed. New ones will help my bounce and balance and give me more support.

Just when I thought we had lots in common you come up with Love Island - FFS ? .... I will check out the drug mule programme. I'm onto Limetown now, off Alibi, a bit different, quite good so far. BTW, who did you tell OH recommended the Adulterer as I think you said he doesn't know you are on here??   Cant believe you left Agassi behind :-), ah well, something to get into after the hols

That is a great phrase, we are back together on the same wavelength with that one after Love Island had me rolling my eyes! I can relate to that phrase most in terms of previous relationships which I thought were forever and which took me time to get over. Its funny how in some cases the deep feelings you had for someone can disappear so quickly (say 6 months later they mean little or nothing to you), but of course you still have your happy memories. Message to self - conversation for another place - this is a gambling recovery site ?  But it does relate to some of the things I discussed at counselling, you go to a counsellor because you are a CG but of course a lot of things discussed are not peculiar or specific to gambling. The counsellors vary so much. One I visited asked me how it felt to win big / lose big etc., she was fascinated by my answers and description of my action and feelings, she got more out of the session than me in terms of research, I got zilch out of it!! Some counselling helped me confirm potential reasons for why I am like I am, positive and negative and gambling related and otherwise, but taking any steps to change/improve a lot more difficult.

At least Djokovic lost at the Olympics so thats something to smile about ?

Whats the Agenda for the long drive back? Games/sing-song/sleep/music?

Captain

Hey Captain,

Glad to hear you had a good workout, I have no doubts it makes you feel good, and as you say, gives you a buzz. 

No hot tub at this lodge. We have stayed in lodges with hot tubs previously, but we enjoy that in the winter months, when it’s freezing and dark outside. 

I’m glad I’m not getting any nega

Captain, 

Please ignore the above, I got myself into a little pickle as you can see ????? at least I can see your last message and respond where I want to ?

re negative posts, I think I feel I’d get some negative responses with what I’m doing, so that’s why I don’t really use the chat room anymore. You previously got plenty of that. Although you handled it quite well, it always helps if you’re pretty good with words ?

I knew you’d laugh at the “Love Island” bit…. But it’s easy watching and I actually quite like it. ? My OH knows I’m on Gamcare. He also knows I talk to you. So he knows you suggested The Adulterer. He doesn’t know of our banter, or of it being likened to the coffee ad ?

We are staying in the heart of England now, the drive from St Helens was only a couple of hours, so not bad at all. The lodge is nice. One of the smallest we’ve stayed at, but it has everything we need. It’s pretty quiet, but to be honest I’m feeling a bit bored. OH is doing some work so I’ve taken Lulu for a few local walks. I drank a bottle of Prosecco last night and woke with a pounding headache today - not good! But totally self inflicted. 

We’re going out for a drive shortly, although OH tells me that’s what old people do ? 

Hope you’re having an “ok” day. 

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx

Hey Captain,

For the second time in one day ?

I actually use an iPad, but for some reason it posted earlier without me clicking “add reply”  

My OH hasn’t read any of my posts on Gamcare. I refer to you as my “friend” Captain. Someone I’ve met on Gamcare  

We are currently sitting outside, on the decking  it’s peaceful and calming  

You have my empathy with regard to footy season starting soon. I totally get how it must feel like starting the cycle of abstinence all over again. I guess the only positive thought is that it will get easier with each season. With you especially, being of a “certain age” and having spent so many seasons gambling, it isn’t easy. Gambling was your way of life. And even though it has caused you so much pain, it’s so tough parting company. Unbelievable really……..BUT you know you CANNOT gamble anymore. It really isn’t an option. For some reason today I put a gambling site in my search on google, the site opened. My Gamban has ended, but I begrudge paying £25 to set it up again. I’m sure I can get it free through Gamcare, I’ll have to sort it out when I get home. 

My sister in law is joining us on Friday for the weekend. So we’ll probably go exploring when they arrive. Have some food out etc, visit a few local pubs. 

What music do you enjoy? I love The Eagles. My parents loved country, it was all I heard when growing up, so I love a bit of that too. Not really into any of the up to date stuff. 70’s & 80’s gets my vote. 

I’m totally with you on most dramas being just about “ok”. Some start out looking promising, but soon go downhill. And lots of the endings are so disappointing! Love Island is currently saving me lol.

Have a pleasant evening Captain. What’s on the menu? 

Tizzy xxx

Good Evening Captain,

So it’s been a right miserable day here today. Rained off and on all day - the great british weather! So again, we’ve not done a lot. Had a “drive out” earlier. 

I exchanged a few emails with Gamban earlier; I had trouble sorting it all out. It transpires that the WiFi we are using at the lodge is probably blocking the Gamban software, if I use mobile data I’m blocked. So hopefully when I get home I’ll be completely blocked!

I agree that you need more in your life to help distract from the thoughts of sports betting. I know I’ve said this a few times, but for someone who has been gambling a few years, it will be a lot easier to “get over it” than someone like yourself, who has been gambling for decades. Sorry if that makes you feel old ?? But, again captain you have done so well. This is your new path. You aren’t where you want to be just yet, but Rome wasn’t built in a day was it?

The X Factor….. THE X FACTOR, initially I thought you were joking ??? that’s something I’ve never been into. Yes, I’ve watched a few episodes, mostly the early ones where they show a lot of bad singers. 

I want to pick up on something you said about listening to music and you did more of it when you were in celebratory mode. I can so relate to that statement. Whilst winning us gamblers really do feel on cloud 9. When winning I could look at many scenarios and could foresee positive outcomes. If I’d lost, in my head, there was no possibility of a positive outcome. Gambling really does rule your head doesn’t it? It dictates our moods - full stop. But I know you already know that!

We are having a Thai takeaway tonight. It’s my favourite!! I can’t wait ? 

The way the weather is looking I might need to put the heating on ?

Have a good evening Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Good Afternoon Captain,

I woke with a headache today, so not feeling too great! Think the vino will have to take a back burner - can’t be drinking with a headache! 

We are currently waiting the arrival of OH’s Sister and family. But they’ve been held up on the M6! 

I understand your dilemma with regard to your annual holiday. It’s a bit of a s**t situation. But, things will get better Captain. 

Like you, I don’t detest all gambling establishments and certainly don’t think they should all be shut down. But, I’ll tell you something that really irritates me - adverts. For example, when they say “when the fun stops - stop” if only it was that easy! When I was playing online a few months ago, I’d continually get emails (well my OH did ?) questioning how much I’d been spending. I’d just have to “tick a few boxes” to confirm I was “in control” and could afford what I was spending. They were merely going through the motions….. covering their a***s! It’s too easy to get yourself into a hole.

It’s good you enjoy trying to help some of the newbies that find themselves here at Gamcare. It makes you wonder how many will take advice and how many will end up with gambling issues. 

I have to admit, the thought of joining OH on another site did cross my mind last night. But I didn’t do anything. I have thoughts like, just once more! Sounds sexual doesn’t it ? But that’s how my mind works! 

Thai was ok last night, never as great as I imagine though - quite honestly like much in life. 

Hope you’re having an ok Friday. 

I looked up Roadkill - we’ve seen it. It was pretty good from what I remember! Hugh Laurie is a bloody good actor. That reminds me, have you seen The Night Manager? That was pretty good and was on BBC1. 

Tizzy xxx

Today I went out. Wandered around local shops. Sat in the coffee shop for 20 mins. No big deal you think. Well it was for me. First time out of the house on a Saturday since last October. 

Usual routine  - go for paper at 7am, then stay in until Sunday morning. Felt I had to shut myself away on a Saturday. Saturday is the big day for those gambling on sports and horse racing. Always has been, always will be. Often my main (or only) reason for going out on a Saturday was to gamble in the bookmakers. Even after I started gambling online, I'd still go and spend some time in the bookmakers too. OK there have been periods of lockdown over the past year when bookmakers were closed. But not going out on a Saturday for 10 months is still a long time.

Have had no problem being out and about on weekdays. As those of you who know me are aware, I still go into bookmakers now and again, just for a few minutes, just to shake my head and think about all the out of control days and all the stupid actions. Today I didnt go in, didn't feel I needed to or wanted to. I still have the urge to gamble every day though. For those who say the urges and cravings get less with time, I respond by saying it depends how long you have been gambling for. I gambled for 40 years. I expect urges every day for a long time, maybe for the rest of my life.

I may go out again next Saturday. I may not. But at least now I know I can. Recovery happens in steps. Some take longer than others. Thats ok.

Hi Captain,

Thats a big step and I’m glad you felt you could do it today. One step at a time my friend. Btw - how was the coffee? 

We are off out for a meal shortly, but I just wanted to stop by and say hello! 

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Back home now. Doesn’t even feel like I’ve been away. Although the break was nothing really exciting, I still feel kind of flat to return home. 

Gamban is working fine on all devices, so no temptation to be had here. 

Ive got a chicken cooking in the oven, going to have that with mashed potatoes and salad this evening. Going to also check out that drugs drama High - on iplayer. 

How do you feel after your venture out on Saturday? I know it was a big step for you. A step out of the comfort zone, the safe zone, the routine. 

I do think your urges will last a while. But I think we both agree on the fact that when you find some/more happiness and contentment in your life, that will help steer you in a better direction. Of course, even though it’s been 10 months since you gambled, in relative terms, it’s early days. But that’s taking nothing away from Saturday Captain. 

How has work been? I caught up with paperwork when we got back. I think it took me all of an hour. I then caught up with last nights Love Island ?? Deceit on Channel 4 starts on Friday night. It’s a 4 part drama based on a true story - might be worth a watch. 

Have a good evening Captain.

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Just a quick note before I too turn my lamp off. For the record, I also prefer darker, cosier nights. I was imagining you typing away to me (after your long day ☹️) with your lamp on; glad to see sending me a message took priority over watching Strike ?

We watched 2 episodes of High (the drugs mule true story) it was ok. It may not be your thing, but it was ok and passed an hour and a half!

My Daughter and Grandson are coming over tomorrow morning at 9:30, so I can’t be late on parade. 

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin. 

Sweet dreams,

Tizzy xxx