Life With Sports Bets Only

Captain, 

I wasn’t dancing, I was singing. ??? It wasn’t good ?

Ventured out again today to “you know where” lost almost all I won yesterday, but again, it could have been a lot worse!

I feel a bit fed up today, nothing to do with gambling. I think we all get days like that - don’t we? How have you been feeling?

Hoping to continue watching High tonight, but to be honest I feel like having an early night. OH is currently watching Coronation Street ? We really know how to live!

Be good,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain, 

A late reply from me today. 

I made coffee cupcakes for my parents and brother this morning. My brother lives close to my parents. We then went to visit them this afternoon. Chat was jovial. They’re currently struggling. My Father’s wounds aren’t healing. They gave him a small op yesterday and removed some mesh, with just local anaesthetic, then sewed him all up again. It’s four months since his big op. He’s 77, but before his op he was a very fit 77 yr old. Would probably have passed for 63. But, as I said to my Mum this evening, we have to be thankful for what we do have, and not what we don’t. 

So, a little confession from me tonight. I haven’t driven for over 17 months. A lot of those months were during the worst of COVID, so we didn’t really go places anyway. But since we have been venturing out, I had still not driven! We got a new car 3 months ago. Anyway, today I drove it to my parents. It’s about a 35 minute drive. The car is an automatic, so pretty simple really. But, I was pleased with myself. OH parked for me though ???

This evening we watched the last 3 episodes of High. It wasn’t bad actually. Easy to watch, no absurd, heavy plot. 

You mentioned yesterday about sometimes being in the chat room but not talking. I can relate to that. Sometimes I didn’t feel like talking either, but it helped, just being in there amongst like minded people. 

No gambling for me today! 

How has your day been? Did you watch more Strike? Did you have cheesecake for tea? I make a really mean banoffee pie, I’m sure you’d love it ?, if you like bananas of course ?

Time for me beauty sleep, sweet dreams,

Tizzy xxx

Good Afternoon Captain,

Thanks for the (extremely) early message. 

I’m sorry to hear you were down to a 4 yesterday. I hope that improves today! 

When I read you were “saving” Strike for Saturday night you reminded me of me - I do exactly the same. It’s all about having that “something”, whatever it may be, to look forward to! Although I personally wouldn’t have put Strike in that category ?

It must make you feel good when you don’t see anyone your (our) age working out to the extent you do. I’m sure that in itself gives you some satisfaction. I can imagine you’re quite competitive ?

We are off out to bingo this evening. I’m looking forward to that. It’s fun. We have some food there and speak to, and have a laugh with a few of the regulars. 

We also need to find something good to watch on tv. Deceit starts tonight, but I think that’s only a 4 parter ? - that won’t keep us going for very long - will it? 

How long were you married for Captain? Did gambling attribute to the split? I’ve never been married, neither has my OH. 

Another confession for you, this isn’t a good one, and certainly not one I’m proud of. I had an affair with a married man. I was single, we met on the internet. He gave me the usual line - I’m not happy, I’ll leave soon blah blah blah. It’s true that, when you’re actually in a situation you cannot see clearly. I thought he was “different”  If one of my friends (not that I have many real friends) got into something like that, I’d be telling her to get the hell out!! But, as I say, it happened. In the end it transpired his wife actually knew. There are some weird people out there Captain. And I guess even at our age we continue to learn…..

Tizzy xxx

Captain,

I know you’ll be tucked up in bed as I type to you. And yes of course I can handle two posts in a day from you ? they are always welcome, especially if they make me smile  

Didn’t lose tonight, so another plus. 

I baked millionaire shortbread this morning, again for family. I get a real buzz out of baking - even though I rarely eat it. I guess I enjoy creating something that pleases people/family. 

I then popped to the nail bar this afternoon and had a manicure.

When we got in from bingo tonight my OH asked if I wanted to watch the first episode of Deceit - I declined! I’d rather wait so I can at least watch 2 episodes ?

It’s so important for us to have something to look forward to. It really doesn’t matter what that is. Everyone needs to be doing things they enjoy  obviously a lot of things involve money, but not all. 

Thanks for your support Captain. I really enjoy our messages, our banter, our coffee ?

Tizzy xxx

Hi Tizzy, I've been reading forum tonight.

Even if bingo wasn't your problem in gambling i can see how others may be frustrated if that was there problem and seeing it in a light that it's fun and Social might trigger feelings of urges or anger.especially where you say you haven't lost almost feels wrong.

maybe instead  you could say you went out and solicalised had a great evening etc ?

However good to see you have also done other things and enjoyed your afternoon such as the baking and getting your nails done  

Lou xX 

Morning Captain,

I’ve obviously upset/offended a few people. My problem, as I’ve said to you in the past, I’m an open book. My mum says I tell people too much. She always says to me, only tell people what you want them to know. That penny has never dropped. When I have written to you, I more often than not forget (even though all my messages on your diary are specifically for you) that anyone can read my words. 
I would imagine you went through similar in your early days. 
As you and I have developed what I consider a friendship I wanted to tell you when I’d been, etc. Because I knew you would understand. Anyway, from now on I shall be “shopping” instead. 
Maybe my last confession was a bit “off topic” too. 
Feels strange, at 51 being told off ? But, I have managed to stop online gambling which is exactly what I wanted to do.

Happy Saturday Captain, whatever you’re doing. Retail therapy for me today!

Enjoy Strike later on ?

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Yes, I received that email too. Probably identical. 

I too replied explaining exactly why I’m here. But also confirming that I understand reading certain things I have been doing may trigger others. I wouldn’t want to do that - obviously. 

It’s easy to get carried away with chat. Well it is for me anyway. I can talk for England. 

I agree maybe I/we should keep a little more focused on our abstinence from gambling, but I don’t think anyone would be offended by much of our other chats and banter. It certainly helps me and no doubt has amused others that have commented. 

Sad to hear you’re going to lock yourself away today. Try and be positive Captain. Regardless of the past, you are doing so well atm. 

Sending you some Tizzy hugs 

xxx

Good Morning Captain,

I’m really sorry that the events over the past few days have had a negative effect on you this past weekend. You have merely supported me as best you could. I know that you may not agree with certain actions, but you don’t judge. YOU have been there. I feel bad because it’s me that has stepped over the mark, not you. I agree entirely with what you said in your previous message to me. I can only assume someone reported one of my posts and forum had to act on it. That’s ok , neither of us wish to offend anyone. No more confessions - unless of a gambling nature! 

So, yesterday we went out. Out out. I lost a four figure amount. Quite honestly Captain I know I was kidding myself that I could *remain in control* I’d just been lucky over the past couple of months. Land “shopping” had just replaced online slots. I hope forum have no need to moderate my words. I want to be open and clear, otherwise what’s the point? 

So, no more slots of ANY KIND for me. Deep down I knew I was still feeding my addiction. And I believe you did too! 

Today I feel a bit “anyhow”. Nothing much to look forward to. I know that’s not the case, but this is what gambling does to you isn’t it? I had the worse nights sleep in months. I continually tossed and turned during the night. I was really unsettled. The sadness I have within isn’t because of the money lost, it’s because I know I cannot play slots anymore. 

I don’t know if we’ve discussed this before, but what is your personal view on a person, like yourself with a sports betting problem, buying a scratch card for example? Or, if you met a lady and she loved a game of bingo and wanted you to join her? I realise it’s a very fine line. And it would be easy for a CG to become hooked on another form of gambling. I once spoke to someone who had a problem with slots. They stopped playing them, but then replaced that with buying scratch cards. But on the other end of the spectrum, some people think that if you’re a CG, you shouldn’t even buy a raffle ticket!

I saw a video of Roger Federer on google this morning. He’s having a third knee op, which will keep him out of the game for months. That reminds me, Agassi awaits! 

I hope your Monday isn’t too bad, and you’re feel a little better today. 

Tizzy xxx

Captain,

Four hours after writing my previous message I went shopping. My OH lent me more money. He obviously feels sorry for me and wants to do the best (in his eyes) to help me feel better. I’m not going to go into any detail, and quite frankly that’s irrelevant anyway; but I want to be straight with you. 

I don’t know if you can relate to this, I believe I/we possibly touched on it previously, but knowing I can go shopping makes the whole world feel better. Worries I have feel better. I feel more optimistic about my Father’s recovery, my own health worries, just things in general. Tonight, you are The Priest, I, (again) am the confessor. 

You’re spot on when you say that no “one size fits all” we, as CG have many things in common, but at the same time, we are all so very different. Like you, I respect any path that a person chooses. I’m also (like you ?) old enough and wise enough to understand that people will only do what they want to do inevitably, regardless of anything you or I say/suggest. 

Like you, I’ve never been interested in buying scratch cards, but over the years have possibly purchased 10! I used to do the lottery every week, same numbers etc. I stopped many years ago, like you, just lost interest.  Each individual *knows* what *floats their boat* shall we say. You’re right (again) in your mentioning the “buzz” word. Lottery, bingo, raffles, do not give me *MY buzz*, for others, as I say, it’s no doubt different.

We watched Who wants to be a millionaire tonight. Was ok. There’s a two part drama starting on ITV Wednesday, I think possibly concludes Thursday. It may be good for you for the weekend. 

Im looking after my Grandson tomorrow for a few hours. That will certainly keep me busy and out of mischief! 

I hope work isn’t too demanding on you this week. 

Sweet dreams Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Hello Captain,

I’m aware that GA promote just one route of recovery. Our way or the highway! I think I’ve mentioned before, I’m a member on some Facebook sites for problem gamblers. But I certainly wouldn’t try to argue with the stats. All CG know it makes sense deep down. But at times we choose to ignore that. 

Thank you for clarifying Gamcare’s take on things. Let’s hope the events of last weekend are put to bed and we can just continue “supporting” each other, with a little joke and banter along the way ?

In regard to the borrowing of monies from OH, I know it has to stop. It’s at an amount I never thought it would be. When I think about it, I’m surprised my OH lends it to me (I’m in no way trying to shift blame here) as I said previously, I think he feels sorry for me. Maybe it makes his life easier!

The last two paragraphs you wrote on my diary made me smile. You’re absolutely right. There’s so much about life to be cherished. Normal life, a life without gambling. 

The future can most definitely be bright. 

We watched the first episode of Deceit tonight. I quite enjoyed it, my OH wasn’t too keen. Interested to hear your opinion. 

“Every moment is a fresh beginning”

Tizzy xx

Evening BFF,

11 hour days is pretty long Captain, I don’t envy you that! I had Grandson again today from 11-4. Am pretty tired after that - and drinking a bottle of wine tonight. I was actually falling asleep in front of the tv (something I never do) so I’ve come to bed. Didn’t watch anything, probably wouldn’t have remembered it in the morning if I did. 

For me there are so many ifs and buts. I wish I could enjoy a flutter without having that feeling of “needing to get my money back”  if I lost. Our minds do not function like a normal persons mind. We have no concept of money while we are gambling. As we say time and time again, it’s merely ammunition. 

A person that goes out and buys £100 of new clothes is getting a much better *deal*, for they will get no repercussions for spending that money. Only a feeling of looking good in their new attire time and time again! 

So many times I’ve walked into an amusement arcade and wished I was *normal* By that I mean why couldn’t I go to the change desk and give a twenty pound note and receive pound coins and ten pence coins and play for fun? Instead I’d immediately head for the all cash section and put money into a slot like a Scotsman with no arms. Hours later, without a pound in my pocket I’d leave…

There’s no justification, just an addiction. 

Tizzy xxx

Hello Captain,

Its a late check in from me today. We went out tonight. It was ok. 

Baptiste, arrr yes, totally agree, hate the jumping back and fourth, past to present. A few things we’ve watched of late have done that also. 

When you talk about your working life, how you hate small talk etc, it makes me wonder what my impression of you would be if our paths crossed through work. 

I understand you’re a bit of a loner, a private person. I wonder if that’s because of gambling, or have you always been that way? ?

I think working from home more will probably make you want to be around people even less, which I don’t think is necessarily a good thing. Although I grant you, a lot do talk S***e. So I completely understand where you’re coming from. 

A lot of companies are now doing the “working from home” thing. My daughter does now mostly. I hope you choose the right option for you, as you say, a lot to think about. 

We are going to an engagement party (just for a few hours) tomorrow afternoon/early evening. Because of COVID we are still relatively careful and won’t be going indoors, in close contact with lots of others. We will stay in the garden, but the forecast isn’t good. I’m not really looking forward to it to be honest, so if rain stops play that suits me fine ?

Nothing else to report to my BFF.  I really look forward to your words on my diary. And I hope you smile to yourself sometimes when reading my replies. You certainly make me smile! 

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine!

Tizzy xxx

Good Morning Captain,

Glad to hear you ventured out again on Saturday, even if you did get a wet b*m ??? I love people watching too. But I think it is healthy to get out and “be” with people even if you’re keeping yourself to yourself. 

Unlike you I’m not a private person. You know, from things I’ve said, I’m very family oriented. I have no real friends. I have acquaintances, but only a handful of them. I have a Brother, and even though we are complete opposites, we could not be any closer. 

I had a best friend at school.  We did so much together. After our school years we drifted apart. About 15 years ago I tried to reconnect. Sadly things were very different. She’d had “new friends” and to me, didn’t seem like she was that interested in making any effort. So I gave up. I didn’t message her, and she didn’t me.  So I totally agree with the fact that generally there has to be some mutual interest of a kind to keep the friendship going. I agree, if you have a handful of really good friends you are lucky. 

When you are a gambler it’s certainly easier if you have have no real friends. 

So your Mum is almost 80, it’s a good age. One we all should be aiming to reach! I am so useless at Birthday presents. In the past I’ve also looked online for ideas - to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever found one that I considered to be “good”. Do let me know what find.

The party was ok. We didn’t stay for too long. Two and a half hours probably. My OH had a few drinks, I was the driver. But after going *shopping* in the afternoon, I was exhausted and asleep by 10 last night. 

It’s good to hear you sound a little more positive. I understand that the football season starting is obviously unsettling for you. There are continuous hazards along the way Captain, all set to try us. 

My Grandson is staying over tonight. Mummy and Daddy are off to a hotel for the night. It will be good, he’s so precious ❤️ 

I would imagine you were up relatively early this morning, doing the work you had to do.  I’m just about to take our dog for her walk as she’s sat patiently waiting whilst I write this to you. 

Have a good Sunday Captain,

Tizzy xxxx

P.S. I also smile when I see I have a new post from you! ?

Hey Captain,

Monday again! Is it just me, or as we get older do you find they seem to come around quicker and quicker?

I was up at 6 this morning with little man. He’s a treasure. Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments, but I love being a Nana ❤️

I know you’ll be working hard today. Do you get stressed, or are you pretty laid back under pressure? I rarely face pressure, it’s been a while since I have. Not really sure how I’d react these days. I think we change as we get older. 

You’ll be glad to hear Love Island finishes tonight, so I’m catching up with the last few episodes so I can watch the final live. Otherwise I will see who has won on social media. No one likes a spoiler alert do they?

On topic ? I think there are many people out there with gambling issues. Far more than anyone would realise. It’s far too easy to borrow money. Companies are almost begging you to get credit cards etc. It’s such a dangerous road to go down. And such a hard thing to stop. I’ve known for a long time about the dopamine factor, but I thought it was only when you hit a win. I now know it’s not. Normal people have little or no understanding of this. I compare it to a love affair. I used to actually tell people “I love online gambling”…. that’s how I felt/feel. I haven’t been in chat for months, tell me, do you see many people that are adamant they are going to stop, but the6 then disappear? Leading one to think they’ve just gone back to the clutches of gambling. ☹️

I hope you’re feeling “ok” Captain, and work hasn’t been too bad for you.

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Been following your posts for a while, & just wanted to let you know that I too often think about those desperate souls who come on here for a while then simply evaporate. Do they know something we don't, have they found a miracle cure that we don't know about ?. I doubt it, I think it's more about not being ready for recovery. One things for sure no-one turns up here or their first GA meeting when they're on a winning streak. There's a massive difference between being sick of gambling & being sick of loosing.

Best Wishes

Al