Life With Sports Bets Only

There is no future only a past

The childhood days why couldn’t they last

Every day I wake up and want to bet

Every night I go to bed and want to forget 

The good memories of achievements they keep me alive 

The promotions and prizes for which I used to strive 

Before bad decisions and becoming a CG 

When the world promised so much and I was young and free

Had I turned different corners by now I’d retire 

Sunbathe on a beach or just sit by the fire 

As it is work fills my time and for that I am glad

As more time to sit and regret would just make me more sad 

So if you are young and reading this and addiction is giving you trouble 

Quit now and don’t stay in the gambling bubble 

Don’t postpone don’t dither don’t wait 

Or your life can go downhill fast and then it’s too late 

Hi Captain,

Your poem is very good. But sadly very true, especially for you. I know it’s easy for me to say, but gambling has affected so much of your past. Don’t allow it to affect your future. You are making progress, as others have said, you’re approaching a year of abstinence. What an achievement. I know it’s not easy. I know how much you struggle. But you cannot allow this b*****d of addiction to ruin the rest of your life. You need something to look forward to. You need something to “excite” you!! A woman could possibly help!! I don’t like it when I feel you’re low ?

I’m ok.  Visited my parents this afternoon. Dad had to see his surgeon again today, it just goes on and on. They need to operate again as his tummy is getting worse. Just no sign of healing. But it won’t be for around 6 weeks as it isn’t urgent. ?

You are too fussy when it comes to tv BFF! Beggars can’t be choosers my friend - or maybe that’s why I watch too much rubbish - I’ll give most things a go!?‍♀️?‍♀️

There is light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels just happen to be longer than others…

Tizzy xxx

Hey Captain, 

Missing your words of wisdom. Just hope you’re busy.

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Nice to hear from you. 

I know you’re not in a great place. And yes, I understand you’re abstinence is because of necessity.  It’s a hard road Captain. I get it. I have no doubt at times it really hits you. Unbelievable really that whilst we’re digging our holes (I realise yours is extremely large) we don’t care. How can that be? It’s crazy. But it’s what it is. For you, you have to make the best of “your world” now. I know at times you do. I really do understand a lot. 

I had yet another big loss. So again, that’s it. So today is day 2 - slot free! ?

On a brighter note, just looked up Departure and it looks pretty good! All set to record ? We watched two episodes of The Nightstalker and it was actually pretty good  

How’s your Mum now? Has she had her very special birthday? 

Have you tried your new running shoes? ?

The weather is going to cool down after this weekend I believe. Although it’s highs of 22 today! I still have the fan on every night,(haven’t required air con unit - didn’t want to be whisked off to outer space unnecessarily) but that’s due to my age ???

I hope you have an “ok” weekend Captain. 

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain, 

Thanks for your message; always good to hear from you. 

Sorry to hear about your Mum. One can understand how something like this can shatter a person’s independence and confidence. Hopefully in time she’ll gain some back.  And I sincerely hope she’s able to enjoy her special day next week. On the topic of parents, my Father goes for his pre-assessment on Thursday, so hopefully it won’t be too long before his op.

I understand your pessimism with regard to me giving up slots completely. I am in no way at rock bottom. But, I now have no access to cash, which for me isn’t a bad thing. We both know that if anyone can find a way, a compulsive gambler can. Time will tell my friend. I’m optimistic. 

This fuel shortage is absolutely crazy. We were fortunate, like yourself and managed to fill up late last night, on our way home from bingo. I know the media haven’t helped. But it goes to show how people are their own worst enemy, with no thought for the next man. Had we not managed to find fuel, we would have had to stay at home until this whole thing blows over. 

We had a few drinks tonight. But it always makes me tired and I generally end up in bed about 9pm! ???

We have our flu jabs booked for tomorrow, other than that a lazy Sunday for us. 

Speak soon BFF,

Tizzy xxx

They shut my account down they stopped my fun

I no longer see the horses run

Football teams play I don’t care if they score 

Without a bet watching is a bore

Not gambling leaves me so empty and sad

Recall the memories when my life wasn’t all bad 

Appreciate autumn colours and the blue sky

A sea view and the birds that fly

But I can’t fly with them I’m stuck in this life 

I’m better alone than with a partner or wife 

Each morning I wake up have to face another day 

Wish I was a kid just go out and play 

We only get one shot can’t turn back the clock 

I stay in a lot with the key in the lock 

Count the hours till it’s time for bed

Dreams are better than reality it has to be said 

I’m not one for taking pills that’s not my way 

I’ll just survive and trudge on until natural death day 

Hi Captain,

You were up early today, writing your poem. A bit morbid at the end I have to say. I hope for your sake, in time they may include more positive things. 
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have in your life, try to focus on what you do have. Don’t compare that to what *you could* have had, had you not become a CG. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you really are better off than a lot of people. Ok, you’re not going to be the richest person in the graveyard when you die; but what’s the benefit of that? It must like Groundhog Day over and over, but I do believe in time, things will improve. 

Of late your messages have become shorter. It makes me think you’re not having many good days. Hence you don’t really have a lot to share with me. I know we message often, obviously that can have some impact. 

We watched the last two episodes of Manhunt last night. Unsurprisingly it was *ok*. We still have 2 episodes of Vigil to watch, I’m hoping that will be better. Kate pointed out there is another drama starting - Angela Black, but unsure if it’ll be “your thing”…???

Is the petrol/diesel shortage still affecting where you live? I keep thinking it’s got to get better, but sadly it continues. Our neighbours were booked to go on holiday to Yorkshire yesterday, but they haven’t gone, in fear of getting up there and not being able to get fuel to bring them home. They could take cancel, so they’ve just lost their money. I think I’d have taken a chance!!!

You wanted Autumn, you now have Autumn ???the weather has definitely changed. It’s been raining here off and on all day today. 

I hope your Mum is improving. 

Speak soon Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain, 

I needed my long johns on this morning when I woke. I’ve stopped myself putting the heating on during the day so far, but don’t think I’ll be holding off for much longer! We’ve had it on during the evenings for some time ?

It’s payday today. So, even though no slots for over a week, now will be the testing time. Some people (maybe you’ve come across some) who spend their wages on payday, spend the rest of the month skint - so unable to fund any kind of gambling activity, but they *believe* they are abstaining! Payday comes around again and the cycle continues. 

The thing is, you and I have been around the block, literally, where gambling’s concerned. We’ve both seen and experienced so much over the years. If we ever met for a coffee, I’m in no doubt once we started talking stories, we’d talk for hours! But even typing that, it’s like an excitement, reminiscing about *good times* times we had great days. Why oh why do we still think of gambling as our *friend*? It definitely wasn’t. But I guess, on good days, nothing in this world can beat that feeling; and I mean nothing!

I’m sorry your Mum is currently in limbo with her healing. It’s so tough getting older. My Father has his pre-assessment today, so hopefully he won’t have to wait too long for his op. It’s almost six months since his original op and he’s literally been living a life in limbo ever since. 

Another drama started on ITV last night, again, not sure if it’s something that would appeal to you. We haven’t watched it yet. We watched the last two episodes of Vigil last night. It was pretty good. 

Free day for me today, I may watch a film this afternoon! Hey, how’s about Arsenal’s win on Sunday. That certainly gave us the boost we desperately needed! 

Any update on work? Are you still working from home? Anymore talk about having to venture into the office? 

Hope you’re having an “ok” day. 

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain, 

Another week comes and goes. We went out tonight. No slots for me for 9 days now. I have moments of weakness - I ask myself shall I? But currently staying strong. I think you once said to me that something in your life leads you down the gambling path. Like something is missing from your life (tell me if it wasn’t you, I think possibly a counsellor may have told you this) I do often wonder why! We’ve spoken about it lots. You believe you know your reasons, or maybe some of them. I don’t. I love my OH. But, if I could have either a life with him no gambling, or endless cash and endless gambling it would be a very difficult decision ????

I watch a lot of gambling videos on YouTube. I know it’s not the done thing, but it relaxes me (believe it or not) before bed. 

A few years ago, when I first moved in with Mr Tizzy, I hadn’t been to bingo in months and months, possibly a couple of years. I couldn’t believe the *desire* I still had to play the slots when I went back. I think I thought that because I hadn’t been to bingo, or played slots for a long period the draw wouldn’t still be there - it was, just as strong as ever. So I guess it’ll always be there, whether I watch videos or not. 

I made a big batch of coffee cupcakes today. I wish I could send you pics, they look amazing, just like bought ones. I took some to my parents and to my Brother and his partner. They all love them. Mr Tizzy is going out tomorrow night with a load of guys, I am going to my Daughters with the wives for a takeaway and girls night. Cupcakes will be our dessert ? Then we’ll pick the men up later on. 

Rain is forecast here for the next week or so. Tomorrow is supposed to be pretty awful. Autumn is definitely here. 

 I hope you have an ok weekend Captain and are enjoying your new book.

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

We got in around midnight last night/this morning. I had a good evening catching up with the girls we’re all around 50, except for my daughter! 

I got into bed about 12:30, but before I went to sleep I read your last post. It did make me smile. I’m glad when you get a message from me it brightens your day; likewise. 

Not good you were at a 4/10 yesterday, but glad you didn’t feel the need to go back to bed. Let’s hope we see more 6’s soon ?

I found your use of the word “geezer” amusing. But, I agree with your opinion that you could write a better book than Shilton. To be honest, I haven’t read the book, but I believe I probably could too, from what you’ve said. Must be a bit hard up! And yes, using the expression “if this could help one person” - codswallop! Writing a book that was a lot more in-depth would help people more, for sure. 

I also smiled at the thought of you walking about in the rain getting soaked ???

I understand what you’re saying about me *needing* more. I guess for most of us, the normal things in life just don’t cut it - for whatever reason.

We’re going out tonight. I hope you have an ok evening.

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx 

Hello Captain,

Thanks for checking in. 

Really sorry to hear you’ve been unwell. I hope it’s nothing too serious. 

Take care of yourself. 

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

I hope you’re still on the mend. Completely understand you not wanting to elaborate on what was wrong. It is a small world at times! 

Now, reflecting on your last post, I have to disagree with you. I do not believe everyone with an addiction, gambling related or alcohol related, whatever, is missing something from their lives. I certainly believe some do. But not all. I believe the excitement, the draw, the buzz gives way more excitement than anything else in this world can *whilst you’re in its clutches* It’s an addiction. And for the record, I don’t believe all affairs (as you also mentioned that) happen because something is missing from the relationship, or that one party is necessarily unhappy. Of course, again, sometimes this will be the case. And I think at the time of Mr Tizzy’s affair something was missing from our relationship, I was missing - it was at the peak of my gambling addiction. But on saying that, I believe that even if our relationship had been “perfect” (if that’s at all possible) he still would have had the affair. Obviously I’ve not studied gambling addictions, and I’ve had only a couple of telephone meetings with a counsellor, which quite honestly weren’t all that. This is merely my humble opinion. 

We have our little Grandson staying with us tonight as Mummy and Daddy have gone to a hotel for the night, so I need to get a reasonable nights sleep ? before 6am ???

Wishing you an ok Saturday,

Your BFF Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Thanks for today’s post. I got good vibes from it. 

I'm glad you were able to get out and run today. What is the distance? You make me smile using the word “geezer”. Well, you actually said “old geezer” in reference to what spectators may have thought when they saw you running. I’d like to add I’m impressed! I guess the competitive side of you has to accept your body can’t possibly “compete” with one thirty or so years younger. It sounded like you enjoyed it, let’s hope that continues and you run many more!

Its pleasing to hear you also ventured out to the event at the park. Anything out of the norm breaks the monotony. Hopefully in time you will discover other pastimes you may enjoy ? 

We often get back to discussing your situation. Your life as it is now. And I know your life is far from improved even though for a year you’ve not gambled. I believe if you had a spare couple of hundred pounds a week, and was able to have “a little flutter” daily you’d be a much happier man - or so you think. But you and I both know that’s not how our stories go. It’s f*****g hard Captain. And I guess for you personally, because you’re such a loner and don’t connect with people it’s even harder. You’ve only got yourself to keep you occupied. You just have to continue doing what you’re doing. And, hopefully in time you will gradually have more 6/10…possibly dare I say, we could get you to a 7! ?

I don’t want to stop slots. Currently I’m not in a situation where I have to. If I didn’t have my OH things would be very, very different for me. But, I haven’t played online for over 4 months.

How is your Mum? My Father had an important blood test, checking for tumour markers. It came back clear, which we’re all over the moon about. Some good news finally. Just waiting now for his op on the 28th and hopefully his wounds will finally start to heal. 

We’re going to visit my parents tomorrow. I’m going to get up early and make them a coffee cake. We’re going away on Tuesday. 5 days up in Liverpool, then a few days at a lodge more local to us.

I guess I should get some sleep. 

Sweet dreams Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

I hope you’re relatively ok. We’re currently up north. Been visiting OH family etc. 

I just wanted to check in and say hello. I’ll message properly when I have more time. 

Take care of yourself,

Tizzy xxx

Hi BFF,

Can’t lie, it’s nice to feel missed ?

The sun is shining this morning, but it certainly has that Autumnal feel outside. 

We visited OH mother yesterday. It’s pretty sad. I don’t think she recognises him/us. OH is very accepting of the situation. If it was my own Mum, I’d be in bits. Not that that would change anything. 

Our break away isn’t that exciting. Yes, it’s nice to get away from the norm. I do think about gambling. I friggin love gambling. Why does it leave us feeling like this? Why does everything else in life appear boring in comparison? I think I’ve mentioned before, I once said to OH I’d love to win the lottery (I rarely play it) because that would enable me to gamble online constantly. 

I don’t know where my heads at. I haven’t played online. That’s a plus, if only a small one. What will it take for me to stop completely? Will I ever be prepared to stop? 

How have you been feeling Captain? Have you been in chat recently? 

I hope you’re ok ?

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx