Lifer

Hi,

Thanks for the messages.

Feeling back on tip top form today. Spoke to my boss earlier. He was very supportive and has offered me all the help I need during my recovery after the op and really put my mind at ease. Feeling much more positive and remained gamble free. Hoped for golf today but the lovely British weather has put paid to that idea.

Life is moving on and I can never complain of boredom these days. See my counsellor again tomorrow. That is really helping me focus on the present and future. When things are out of your control which you can't change all you can do is go with them. If they are in your control then it's obvious, take control and change.

Take care people,

A.N

Great to see your stil on top AN, hope your not missing the shiny one to much lol..

I think you should start practing scoober golf with the weather forecast for this week lol.

Blondie 🙂

Yo,

Could not open your utube vid , but to be honest the Internet in here is rubbish.

You sound so much better , which only makes my heart feel with joy .

Seems like its probs best for you to have the op, the better that ticker working , the more it beats for shiny I recon ........

Anyways hope the weather improves for both of us , you can get out and play a bit of golf and I can go out and look at some medieval ruin , ( sure that will be fun )

Laters Hun , take it easy ok !

Shiny xxxxxx

I am drunk tonight, very drunk.

Swapping one thing for another? very probably.

Tomorrow is another day. I intend to be stronger and learn from tonights experience. Back to work Wednesday, I must get this house in order. I really don't want to fall apart again.

Life is life. I am an addict, drink, drugs, s*x, gambling, food, you name it and I have been there. Not so strong now, don't know why. Feel better after sleep, I hope. (sorry everyone, I let you down again)

A.N

Hi,

Hung over after last nights session. Certainly not going down that route again. It's far too painful! Guess I deserve it for being a ****.

Off to see my counsellor now for my weekly head fix. Sounds like a drug! Hopefully get a round in this afternoon before work tomorrow.

Bye,

A.n

Yo,

Have a good day at work. Hope your session went well last night , you must be a bit peeved about this weather no golf I think .

Think we will have to find you , a winter hobby , now obviously we tried macramé never really hit the spot .

What a bout 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle, of a golf course , least then you can keep your eye in .

( oh shiny you are a bad bad girl )

Hugs , my friend ( well I was not do sure now lol)

Laters

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Hi A.N

Thank u so much for the support and such kind words it helped so much and was so touched by e everything u said , I shed a few tears myself the last few days but av given myself a shake down and now back on track

Just a word on relapse for both of us a lot of people who av go on been back at day one and made me think , u started ur recovery I know before me and mine is comin up to a year , in my eyes day 1 is the day we admit our problem and seek help the journey is so long with many ups and downs and I still stand by what I said we are on different to someone who has been gamble free a year to someone who has relapsed in a year

We know too much now to ever really go back to that life of misery yes we way av lost the fight at times but we will win the battle

And we will do that side by side , thank u again so much

Castle2

Yo,

Just a quick drop in to see how you are diddling .

Hopes all is ok,

Do not be a stranger ,

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxx

We seek him here ....we seek him there.....we cannot find that ANIB anywhere.

hope your ok hun

R and D xx

Hi A.N

Hope ur ok know u av not posted for a bit , one of the reasons I know why I partly relapsed was the fact that I knew I few around me had recently done so in no way did I blame any other individual the only person to blame was myself but in a way it kind of way made it feel as though it was more acceptable to myself like others around me had slipped so if I did it didn't matter that much in a way it was a good time to do it , obviously I had the reasons why I did as well but it I knew there were others at the time , to be honest I doubt many people reading this it will make much sense but am hoping it will to u , after my relapse I found the strength to come back on and admitted the whole truth bout it and it's helped me to grow strong again

I would av not been able to do that on my own my thoughts were that u had slipped and come straight back on and if u can be so brave with everything u av gone through recently then so can I and I did

We are both fighters and we know deep down what is right from wrong and long term we know gambling is wrong and it's not the answer to our problems

I really look up to u so much and always will so take ur time whatever it is and we will be here ready to support to u

Take care

Castle2

Ok hun...

page 3...

I give in....where art thou?

just checking in Ian...drop us a quick post if you can just so we know you are ok hun

I know you have a lot on your plate right now healthwise and am thinking of you xx

R and D xx

Mr. B

I hope you are well my friend, maybe stuck in a bunker!!

Fella I miss your humour but understand.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi AN,

Just popping by to see how you are and to post you a tune to blast those cobwebs away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AuxJH2Mj30

Hope you are well my friend

Paulds

Hi Ian

Can't lie....bit worried about ya...but hey...so long as you are ok thats ok

night

R and D xx

Good morning everyone,

Firstly, sorry for my inactivity on the site. Also, sorry if I let anyone down or caused anyone to worry,very selfish of me.

As you might well have guessed, someone's inactivity is usually down to relapse. I have relapsed and rather badly. I am still in the process of accepting the losses at the moment. The only way I can seem to function these days is to write a daily plan and follow it to the letter just like I did with a diet. If I don't I get sidetracked and forget about my goals and become fixated with my greedy needs.

It's not just gambling, it's money, it's material things, s*x, drink and lies. I am a full blown addict. Trouble is I am lying to myself. I have had help and support, psychological and emotional. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I am one poorly individual. I have become so desperate to sort myself out that I have forgot about what's really important. Family, friends, health and the real world.

I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself, so I am taking some time to try and regroup my thoughts. Whilst I am in such a mess, posting is difficult. I hope to get my head in a better place and will return when things are better. Nobody needs to hear this, it's not going to contribute or help anyone.

Back asap.

A.N