Lost the plot...so back.

28 days to one year

£300 car bill. Hardly worth it for the 20 yr old car I drive, but I'm stuck in that 'can't afford a new one, have to keep fixing old one' trap.

I've somehow managed to accumulate £200 in my wallet over the last couple of weeks, so it won't hit me too hard, but it's an expense I could do without. Probably a good thing I had to spend it - gambling had flickered in my mind a couple of times.

Do you get paid cash-in-hand?

Not exactly. I am paid the same every week for my regular part-time morning work, minus tax and NI. But because we have so much cash coming in, I just take it as and when I like, from the till. As long as I take the same every week, it doesn't matter. Usually I spend the cash on shopping, petrol, or whatever. This last few weeks, however, I've built up a surplus due to being busy and also having a house full of food. It was a shame to spend it on something so 5h1tty as car repairs, but I suppose that's real life for you. I would've had to increase my overdraft in the past

Hey Milkman,

Just a quick post to thank you for writing on mine. I hope you are keeping strong and not depressed about having to spend on car repairs. That sort of spending always seems a waste doesnt it, putting something back to how it was. ...but i guess that is almost an analogy to our CG lives, trying to slowly get back to where we were.

All the best mate.

Dom

22 days to one year

Just checked my bank balance - £8 8 8. 88 in credit. How weird is that?? Is it trying to tell me something? It'll go down by £700 in the month as DDs and payments come out, but it'll still leave me a £200 surplus - the first in a long time. Still got the loans and the credit cards to pay, of couse, but I am defo 'on top'. I need to save £1500 for a new boiler for mid-Nov, I won't be able to do that much but £700 is doable. The rest will be on 0% cc.

Thoughts of gambling as always, but I'm enjoying seeing the debts come down too much to do it at present. To any newbies, it took 10 months to get anywhere near this point, I had one relapse and it was very hard, both financially and mentally for the first 6 months. I also have kept it a secret all this time, and have a family, which is not a nice thing to do (secret, not family). Better to have support, but not easy in my case.

debts:

Debt 1, loan: £3,925

Debt 2, CC1 (0%) : £2,900

Debt 3 CC2 (0%0: £2,100

Bank a/c: £900 credit

Opening debt: £13,500

Current debt: £8025

Great work mate, keep going at it, you've really taken a chunk off it! Just wait until your bank account is in credit without any debts as just happened to me! It will get there.

Followed a spam link to an online casino tonight. Didn't download, didn't play, just browsed. Then browsed eCogra. Bad bad bad. Don't know why I did it.

Still clean, 21 days to one year, but still tempted. In a weird way, it's getting harder as the finances right themselves. I'm going to have to be careful.

Thanks for your posts on my diary. I know from experience that it's very hard to resist the temptation when you appear to have money to spend. Don't throw away the chance for financial security on false dreams. You're so close to a year clean, and you should sit back and feel proud of that achievement. Steer clear of those gambling sites!

HI Milkman,

At least its on your radar and your aware that something is shifting. Do you want to go back to day one and juggling your finances again absolutly not.

Maybe its time to start thinking about/planning what you will do with the spare money you will have as your debt is reduced ?

I booked a holiday ?

You have acheived so much milkman dont ever lose sight of that.

Take care

Blondie

15 days to one year

Still clean; feel like I'm spraying money around like a geyser at the monent, though, and gambling has entered my mind many times. Going to be spending on a new bathroom soon, neccessary as boiler limping along now, and that's going to be 'on the tick'. Otherwise all wellish. All hard work at the moment.

Thanks Blondie and SirG, much appreciated. Don't want to go back to one year ago, but would like v much to go back to 15 years ago when I controlled myself and made a fair amount of money for a sustained time. I do realise that's not possible in my case, though.

I remember you asked me for my email address a while ago, so here you go: [email protected]. I'll edit this post as soon as you have read it.

Content removed by Forum Admin.

Milkman....I see you are coming up for a year. What a massive achievement. Well done. Looking back and wishing of better times in the past is no good! You need to live for today. Enjoy each day as it comes, be happy, don't wish away time and lastly....just do the best that you can do. Nobody can argue with that! Well done. Russ

11 days to one year

I find myself entertaining all sorts of stupid ideas about having some controlled gambling again after I've cracked a year. If truth be told, I miss the 'hit' that gambling gave me. I think there's something about CGs that thrives on the thrill of living on the edge all the time, of manipulating people and debts, and of generally being a control freak with money, although, ironically, it controls us. Being able to see it doesn't make the feeling go away, unfortunately. Also, I'm about to spend a lot of money on this boiler and bathroom next month, and it pains me to see the debts going back up. It feels like a step back, although it obviously isn't.

Bite the tongue, grit teeth, keep going.

Whilst going a year without gambling is a fantastic achievement there are no medals for it milkman.the only difference is it means so much to us comp gamblers.

Try looking at it as another successful day completed non gambling.

odaat friend,your last post had a few gambling gremlins itching away don't give in,you re reaching great heights now.do you really want to start again ?

Best wishes.

W.P