Still here. Still clean. Debts slowly, oh so slowly, going down. I have a lot of work over Christmas and this will add some more money to the pot. I am halfway with the counselling (24 sessions is the toal) and that definitely helped in the beginning; now it's keeping me stable.
Full of woe and grief for my last gambling sessions but my counsellor tells me that these kind of feelings are not productive, so we are working through that at the moment.
Last gamble: July 29th. Debt, 17k
Hi milkman,
Well done on your abstaining, at least the debts are going slowly down, and that has to be a big positive.
Take care
Suzanne xx
Just done a full check on my finances, which I do from time-to-time, to make sure everything's in order and the 0% deals haven't expired. To my horror I 'forgot' about a credit card I am paying back, all ok on the payment front but suddenly I'm 1.5k worse off than I thought. That made me mull over all the sums and then the gambling and it has left me feeling pretty down. Also, my halifax 0% deal expires in March and there's still 4.5k on the card, and I can't see a way of getting it down...It's brought me down to Earth a bit, I was starting to get a little extravagent with the spending this Xmas, but I really need to go back to basics.
Hi Milkman,.
Thanks for your supportive message on my diary, keep doing what you are doing you are doing brilliantly staying gamble free.
Take care and stay safe
Suzanne xx
Found myself drooling over a pop-up ad that appeared yesterday, mesmerised by the spinning reels, even though slots aren't particularly my thing. Didn't gamble.
5 calendar months next Sunday. Still stable at the moment, have moments of longing when I check the debts and want to wish them away. It's almost better to NOT check them and let them diminish over time, looking at them makes me hungry for faster action. Anyway,hoping to lob a grand at them after Christmas because I've got a lot of work coming up. Currently 17.5k.
Hi Milkman,
We should not look at the debts but it's hard not to keep checking them, but at least they are not accumulating, while we are not gambling, they will go down, slowly, as long as we stay away from gambling.
Wishing you a very merry gambling free Xmas and new year.
Take care
Suzanne xx
Just remember that as long as you do not gamble, your debts will continue to decrease slowly but surely. I hope you have a lovely Christmas with your family. Dare I ask what your plans are for 2015?
Thanks 'I wished' and Pelle.
My plans for 2015 are v complicated, Pelle, but involve 'a long journey and time away'. You know what I mean. I am doing well but it gets me down sometimes; I am in the same position I was a year ago. Still, I am not in The Zone at the moment.
Hi Milkman,
Thank you so much for your post on my diary. It means a lot to know that people are reading my posts.
That one inparticular was from the heart....
Keep strong
Ade
I've done lots and lots of extra work these last few weeks and I have saved 1500 quid - enough to knock 8% of the debt off. That's good...but also sad seeing the money disappear into the black hole I created. I spent ten pounds on a very posh cheesecake from an expensive deli as a reward to myself, not that I can afford it but I really like cheesecake and I wanted just a small frivolity as a reward. Wife thought I'd gone mad but explained it was just a present to self from a Christmas tip (kind of true). Ten pounds wouldn't even pay for 10 seconds gambling in times past.
5 months tomorrow, no gambling
You deserved it.
A ten pound cheesecake is at least cheaper than a 19k cheesecake like the one you bought 5 months ago.
You married now, then?
Not married, Pelle, just easier to say 'wife' instead of 'partner' all the time.
I am now 5 months and a week into my recovery. I am able to speed up my repayments very slightly; also, I have quite a lot of work now, and for the near future, which has enabled me to relax just a little. However - I am 16.5 k in debt, and lobbing 200 quid at various CCs as extra payments only scratches the surface. It can be depressing. It is also the Danger Time, as I know from my past dalliances. Everything seems to be OK so I start wondering 'what if...' and then it all goes horribly wrong.
Last April I was 15k in debt. I had one blow-out and I have spent all year paying for it. Hopefully, this coming April (all being well) I will be 'only' 13k. That's an improvement - but I've gambled over 10k this year in one binge, excluding the 10 I was up at one stage. Madness. It's true that there's no substitute for 'the feeling', and that's why it's so hard to quit - harder than cigarettes, and I should know that. Even now, in my stable and contemplative stage, I can't really bear to think 'never again'. My priority at the moment is just pay off the debt and don't gamble until I do so. My faulty mind is being addressed through counselling, but it isn't enough and I'll have to really add barriers as my recovery continues.
Hi milkman,
Very well done on 5 months
Take care Suzanne xx
Financially, both of us are currently in a worse position than when we joined this site in October 2011. What have we learnt?
I was debt-free last April but, as with you, massive blow-outs caused things to spiral out of control. Again.
You still seeing your counsellor?
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