Will be thinking about ye today, hope everything goes well.
Any news on the baby front? I hope the birth goes well. We are considering a water birth unless something goes wrong, which is always possible. Any thoughts and advice? I am dreading the whole birth experience: watching my wife writhing in agony, loads of blood and God-knows what else all over the place, having abused hurled at me, etc.
No news.
Our first wasn't at all like you described, except for the blood. No abuse, not even any writhing, obviously it wasn't relaxing but I can honestly say that my OH 'enjoyed' it. She's a bit quirky at the best of times, but she has got a very good state of mind about childbirth, and that was definitely the key. I was you 2 years ago, so i know this isn't what you want to hear, but you should try to relax and enjoy it - there's only one first time and it's special. Don't wind yourself up with horror stories. If these midgets can manage it, your wife can too. Think how hard it is for unicorns.
Pelle your watching way too much TV its not that bad, I only remember feeling so proud of my OH while it was happening she was fantastic.
Jim, keep us posted on the arrival of Junior
108
no baby
No gambling
Looking forward to hearing this...
baby
no gambling
GT
**sigh**
Day 109
no gambling
no baby as yet
no mattress (was supposed to have been delivered 'before 5', and our old one is outside awaiting collection)
**update**
Had a serious 'pang' tonight, one that got me as far as checking out online casino reviews at a certain website (gooners). I'm self-excluded from the ones I used previously, but obviously there's dozens out there.
Will stay away, I promise myself. I wonder if stress is anything to do with it...had a cig on Tues, not like me since I stopped a year ago. It is possible that I may need a rest from this site for a couple of weeks, dunno, not sure if it's helping reading about people's lapses because it's fuelling (potentially) mine.
What do you think?
Jim. I got that.
I'm my heart I know 100% that this is down to stresses in your life right now. Its life changing stuff, but life changing in a great way, similar to the life change you made over 100 days ago. Gambling again puts you back to a place you know you don't want to be. Please be careful. Remember your post to Shorty8 this week after her lapse, you could see it coming in her posts please don't let that be you. Read your initial posts again. If you really need a break from here (and I hope you don't) then let's keep in contact daily on mail. I will mail you as soon as I get to work in the am. Please please please think of all you have achived. Remember why you came here first and why you want a better life for you, your OH and your soon to be two little ones.
Hi Jim, I'm glad my OH gave you some clarity. The conversation opened my eyes as well. I've been busy patting myself on the back for a while now. We know how much strength it takes to give gambling up...but as my wife said, in their eyes we are just becoming normal!
Can you give me a clue as to your old username...as I don't know who you are? Thanks Russ
Ahhhh, great to hear from you and well done on your progress so far. The longer you go the easier it becomes. That's not to say you should ever be complacent. Enjoy the return to normality! Russ
Hi Jim.....
I am on day 9 of being gamble free. I have just read your entire diary.
Firstly, I tip my virtual hat to you, as you have shown great strength during some difficult and stressful times in your life.
Secondly, reading your posts have come at a timely moment for myself. I also have many external stresses around my life in general at the moment, including becoming a father for the second time. Having an example of someone who shows it can be managed through the assistance of friends, wider family and honesty of how they are feeling is a great inspiration.
Lastly, just a simple thanks for posting throughout as it has just bolstered my mood for the weekend.
Have a great gamble free weekend
Stuart
thanks Stuart...not sure I deserve such fulsome praise, but I'm genuinely pleased if my own personal battle has in any way helped anyone. Shame you can't see the first 61 days of my diary under my old name, sadly deleted but with a much more urgent tone (Ithought I was going to lose the house).
Day 110
Still haemorrhaging money, £110 on a new diverter valve for the boiler today, it never seems to end...No baby as yet, they will induce if it's not here by Tuesday. Mattress arrived at 9.30pm last night!
I have to admit that reading about Shorty's lapse and her chasing of the money made me hungry to gamble. When I lapsed 110 days ago I'd been reading about someone else's lapse, and I'm pretty sure that it was the trigger. I'm OK now, but last night I came closer to gambling than I have at any time in the past 110 days. Specifically, it was her description of changing 50, 100, then 500 pounds and then winning £150 profit at the end of it. Despite my strong words and resolve, I'm extremely vulnerable underneath.
Hi Jim
Well done on overcoming the urges last night. No one said that you'll ever be cured of gambling addiction, its just a case of living side by side with it and always keeping it at arms length. Just remember the most important person on this forum is you and do what you have to in order to remain gamble free. You said 'winning £150 at the end of it', unfortunately there is no end for a CG when in action until everything has gone, so this 'profit' is still owned by the casino, just merely being looked after until the next time.
Big well done on 110 days mate, Good luck with the birth of your new baby on Tuesday if that's when he/she is to arrive.
All the best, keep well and stay strong
Keith
Day 111, beginning of 112
No gambling. Won't have the opportunity to gamble today, so I can safely put that for 112 too.
No thoughts of gambling since Thursday night, except when I've come on here.This is a diary, right, so I'm recording my thoughts but they're not levelled at anyone in particular, just for me to get them on 'paper'. I've been a bit p1s5ed off with the site, because I've spent a fair bit of time replying to newcomers (both here and in the new intros forum), giving more detailed replies which i hope were supportive and helpful, and all the recent ones I've done the people have just never come back or gone out and gambled the next day.
Now I know this isn't about me getting a reward for trying to help, it's not that, and I know that people like GT and JamesP (and others) are selfless with their time and do it tons more than any of us...it's more frustration that people aren't willing to help themselves, even when they're in the most dire of circumstances. I also know that I was that person months and years ago, I don't need telling off for my thoughts, I'm just noting it down because I'm not sure it's doing my recovery any good...it sometimes makes me feel like it's ultimately useless and all any of us is doing is buying time til the next lapse.
Rant over.
On an entirely different note, still no b100dy baby.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
