Misery to happiness

Hi HTF

Just wanted to say how great you are doing

Staying strong and gamble free

Well done to you

Suzanne x

Thanks Suzanne posted on your diary staying strong.

My thoughts for today gamble free day 143

This sums it up for me

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow.

But happiness when shared is doubled.

If you want to feel rich just count the things you have that money can't buy.

Today is a gift that is why it is called the present.

Recovery is bespoke non judgemental and challenging my road to discovery and peace of mind continues.

Soldiering on hitthefanx

Took ages to find my diary nearly two months since I used it.

Gamble free day 209.

This has been the hardest week ever. Urge after urge head filled with if only . Just a wee spin or maybe .

Debt in head worry worry. New job stress stress. Well barriers in place no access no cards. But time on hands and lack of motivation to do other activities . Can't seem to shake it . Only I can help myself . Annoyed with myself that I have allowed my mind to be poisoned with the thought of gambling . Feeling in low mood gosh weird to write convincing self of all positives . Not working will keep reminding myself how cr** I felt . Gambling a waste of time and I can't win because I can't stop. Hitthefanx

Hi HTF

Wow 209 days what an achievement

I can relate to debt it's more on my mind than gambling

and the lack of motivation to do other stuff it's like being in a time warp wAiting for the debt to disappear

It is disappearing slowly but surely as long as we don't gamble

Stay focused keep strong because to give in will only bring more misery and debt

Because we cannot win because we cannot stop but we do win every day we don't play and that has to be positive for us

Forwards and upwards even if slowly

Take care

Suzanne xx

Day 274 on Sunday.

Started with 36k debt this year frightening to write

Had 12 debts and thought I would aim to pay 4 which I have.

Now paid debt 5 and by end of year should have number 6 boxed off.

Total debt left 26k thought I would write it feels good. Still a worry i have not shared this with my husband but my mum and sister. All blocks in place and no card go to bank for cash. Thinking about getting card again not certain yet . Will visit again at later stage in recovery. My husband knows I had a gambling issue but doesnt know how bad so we talk about honesty should I tell or have I just kept it as my own burden my problem . Would it aid my recovery not sure . I have managed this so far. Is it a secret to be kept just didn't feel like sharing selfish maybe . Hanging in there hitthefanx