Moving on..Day 1 and on

Thanks for your support guys.

Doing well at the mo. Not gambled again since my last post. It seems a lot more easier to escape now than it was in the past. Disappointed in myself for not just saying no in the first place, but proud of myself for saying no later on and self-excluding like I did. Am I a problem gambler, still? Yeah. I signed up to a site and lost myself in it again, I won't deny this. I found it a very troubling. Constant thoughts rushing through my head on this bet and that bet, that was the worst. And whilst I only punted a small amount the gambling just went on and on until the inevitable conclusion. I'd win bets and then place the winning on further bets. It is all kind of silly when I know I'm just going to end up losing it. What is the point of that?

Anyway, gamble free again. *relief* 🙂

I have returned back to the sanity, once again, and it feels good knowing I won't be wasting my time and money on that insane garbage. I never needed it in the first place, and don't need the rubbish it brings along with it again.

The after affects of my previous life as a gambler are still felt now. The sometimes horrible and humbling cleaning job I have to do top up my earnings, that alone speaks volumes of where I've ended up. A couple of years or more ago, I'd have laughed at the suggestion of doing that, but now I have to avoid signing on again.

I won't panic or get depressed and actually feel I'm in a good place in my life at the moment. I can rebuild from this point on and grow again.

Maybe this was all a blessing in disguise? Regardless of whether it is or not, I truly believe that through hardship and adversity we come out as better people.

Hey Alex,

Thank you so much for the kind words. I hope your doing great! Never give up Alex, be proud of your yourself! You have been a tremendous supporter of me. Did you ever reconnect with fishing? I always find fishing is very therapeutic to me. It's help keep me away from those slots. Great to hear from you again.

Chicagoguy

Still doing well. Since my world cup slip, I haven't given gambling much of a thought. It isn't so much the battle it was 2 years ago and I'm glad I've come this far, as back then I was constantly pining for another bet. Times change and people change too, I suppose. Very happily bet free. This could be my last post, I'm not saying for certain, as I don't know what the future holds. Maybe it's just time to move on is all.

Over the last year, I've probably gambled a handful of times and it always left me feeling empty at the end. I don't want or need that again, so choose not gamble. It took me a while to get to this point and whilst recovery is ongoing, I see myself as being past the worst. I guess this is goodbye diary as I don't need to post anymore.

Wish everyone the best in their journey's ahead.

Signing off for the last time

-Alex

-And yes, Chicagoguy. I have reconnected with fishing. Took me a while, but I have. All the best, friend.

To all the people I've met here, thanks for your support and I wish you best. You know who you are. 🙂

Good luck Alex and all the very best for the future.

Your friend Feb.x

Alex

Fella it has been a pleasure to read the contributions you have made to the forum,I am so pleased you are in a good place at the minute.

This journey is bespoke,you have to do what suits you,tailor it to work for you.

the doors here revolve,you know where to find it should you need it.

The only thing that matters is the end result

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Alex,

Hope all is well with yourself. You've been there for me from the very beginning and i thank you for all your support and kind words. Take a good care of yourself, keep making the right choice and you can't miss.

Take care

Sandra x

Thanks again to all you guys for your support. If I need to return I will, but as of now, gambling just isn't for me. It took a great deal of time to reach this point and whilst I slipped recently back in June, it only reinforced what most of us know already, which is that it's a waste of time and energy.

Being a gambler (now ex- gambler) and overcoming my problem with it has been an interesting experience. It hasn't all been bad. A lot of good has come out of me stepping up to deal with my problem. At the beginning, although I never saw it, something fantastic was happening, it's only now I really appreciate it. That is, that I can live a life without the constant nagging of my thoughts to gamble. It took a while but I think I'm there now. The idea of gambling is just so alien to me now, that I kind of wonder how I got so caught up in it. Escapism, grief and depression played a part, I've no doubt. Just over four years ago, a lot of things went down, really quickly and life changed so much that I couldn't cope with too well. That was pretty much the start of it. Much has been learned from it, I guess. A life lesson in how not to cope with your problems.

Anyway, without going on too much, it's been joy to be part of this community and to have the help I needed when I really needed it. I thank you all again.

'Don't give up, giving up'

-Alex

Hi Alex,

Hope you're doing well Pal.

Thought I'd just check up on you as I'm back on the forums following a very annoying relapse this weekend after 1 year of blissful no gambling.

Thrilled to read you're in a good place and managing to stay away from gambling. Only watch out I'd give you is that 2 months ago I was exactly the same mentally as you. Wondering how I ever got caught up in such a stupid habit. However, it really does only take one little slip for it to start getting its claws in again. Always try and be mindfull of this and never let your brain think you'll be able to gamble responsibly. We can't....at least I can't!

Although I havent 'messed up' big time, and havent got into any debt or lost anything too unmanageable it is just a scary (but needed) reminder that I will always be a compulsive gambler and the only way to beat it is to do nothing. No watching poker on TV, No playing with friends, no fruit machines, no horses....nothing. One little buzz from a fruit machine could perhaps awaken the thing in your brain (whatever this is!) to make you want to play again.

So anyway, stay vigilant and really hope you stay on the road you're on 🙂

Poker Kid

Thanks for the message of support, Pokerkid. I'll definetely stay vigilant. I still get urges every now and then, but my very worst days are well behind me and I wouldn't want to repeat them again. I know as soon as I gamble again it'll just be one big downward spiral back to it becoming an issue again. Thankfully, my senses prevailed back during the world cup and my relapse was minor.

Overall, I haven't gambled for most of the time I've been on here and I am commited to stay well away from gambling. I've gambled under maybe under 100 (maybe less, maybe more- unsure) since I deciced to tackle the problem back in late 2012. That loss is so minor, I'm not troubled at all by it. During my worst, I gambled that over a night at poker, or over a weekend. Still small change to some, but to me a lot. I've spent maybe a week or so combined as a gambler again in total over the last 2 years during this recovery. That is it.

Today I don't count the days, I'm relieved to say it's not a problem anymore and I feel partly over it. Those relapses were like that first cigerette after you've quit for a while. Okay for a while then utterly gross.. I stubbed out that habit too recently. 🙂

I am doing well and want it remain this way. So no more bloomin' poker or bets for me. Haven't bet in a while now and it's something that just doesn't bother me. No more am I troubled. Withdrawal long gone. I have move on, but..I REMAIN VIGILANT ALWAYS.

Stay strong people. Hope all is well with old friends here. You're not forgotten. Bless you all and thank you 🙂

All the best

Alex

Hi Man,

Get in there!

Made up for you. Sounds like your blitzing it 😉

Like to I've only had one relapse in a year now. It was a slightly classic 2-3 day binge weekend just gone, but I only lost 300. your comparison to the first cig in a while since you've given up is BANG ON! It felt awful and very quickly reminded my why I gave up.

I am taking it seriously though, and hence going to get back to my diary and support people on here as a way of therapy I guess.

Since giving up I managed to buy a flat, set up two businesses, get promoted twice at work, start playing rugby and tennis competitively again and much more....All in a year. Amazing how much time you have when you're not staring at a screen engrossed in poker!

Keep strong and good luck bro

PK

Small update. All things good. Still bet free. No inkling of a problem emerging again at the moment, for as far as I can tell I'm done with it. Still have the odd urge but these are few and far between, and not much of an issue. Last bet was months ago now, can't quite remember when but I'm pleased I stopped when I did as that all consuming gambling problem could have returned if I let it. Scary thought that. Gambling became a nightmare. When I think back, it just seem so unreal, like I was possessed. Glad to be rid of it. Glad it's over.

Wish others well. Have a nice Christmas and new year.

-Alex

Hi Alex,

Wonderful to hear from you again and really pleased to read you are staying safe and moving on.

Wish you all the best for xmas and New year, may it brings more happy and peaceful moments in your life.

Keep up the good work

S x

Just a small update, as they're necessary from time to time. Still good. Life has changed considerably over the last year and for the better. My last bet was during the world cup, when I briefly went back to my old ways. Still have the odd urge to gamble but am so far able to keep these urges from becoming actions. Poker is a big one for me still urges wise, as I did like a game, but now obviously haven't had one in over maybe a year or so. Still going to keep strong. Have a lot going for me now, which I couldn't have said this time last year. Should I stay strong and focus on things that can be productive I know I'll do well again. Work wise, one of my jobs is ironic, as I've found a job cleaning in a 'gambling establishment', a massive place - casino, slots, bingo etc. Can't say much more than that or name it for obvious reasons - though it's actually a very nice place to work. Yet, the irony is, in a way gambling led me down this path, as at one time I was doing alright and would never have applied for these kind of jobs. Yet, I'm happy. Having this job is enabling me to start over with my graphic design stuff again. It's both sad and funny to me, that I'm cleaning poker tables in the morning. Maybe that explains my poker urges. Haha. Anyway, all is good. On the right path. Future is a little more positive now. Hopefully going to be self-employed again and working on the design work soon. That's my main priority.

Till another time,

Stay strong

Alex

Hi Alex,

My fellow soldier right from day one 🙂 and how amazing to see you doing so well, am over the moon for you and really get a lot of inspiration put of your post.
Keep up the good work and keep choosing life...things are defo going to the right direction.

Ps. Hope you don't get any comments like " u missed a bit" lol..that's with cleaning those tables 😉

Take care and will look forward reading your next update

Sandra x

Over a year since I last gambled. That was during the last world cup. Crazy when I think about it. I've done it, yes...to a degree, that is. The reason I've returned is I still have that naggin' urge, though very rarely to gamble. Relief is, I self-excluded everywhere so the chances of me gambling are slim to none. Still being careful, I'm writing this post to stay well clear of gambling again. It's easy to fall back into it. I really wouldn't want to have to go through that nightmare again. In a sense I was lucky, I got out before it did anymore harm to me. It did cause me problems. Left me skint and skewed all focus away from what was turning into a very profitable job, but I got out. That was when I hit the jackpot. I shouldn't forget that. Gamble free for 365+ days (MOVED ON, I THINK!)