Mr Grumpy: Round 3 and a half

Well... payday has been and gone, and in my case... not happened, a strange kind of relief really, if anybody rings me about money.. I haven't got any!

I haven't done anything "bad"... changed my bank account, changed the account on my payroll... didn't receive a bank card, went in yesterday to see what has happened... bank account doesn't exist. So my wages are floating about somewhere in the ether, and may not be with me for another week or more... maybe fate?

Sorted out one card... but a whole lot of direct debit people are not going to be happy!... still..... feeling calm about it. There's nothing I can do about that.. so...

16 Days gone of saving money towards my debts, feeling ok... a few thoughts still, similar to lots on here, but no major urges.

Block Block Block... it's the only way for those disposed to online gambling.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS! (courtesy of Weaslehawk)

Well done Jon mate, keep it going, enjoying reading your progress

Andy (Wilsy)

Hi Jon, just wanted 2 say well done u r doing gr8 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Day 17:

Whilst I know that I have been a problem gambler, ( pub bandits 18-43 )... no other serious gambling till 4 months ago when The online casino hit me. I remember the day.

If I was bored I would have a few bets on the horses on **** ****... ( it was fun guess work) but only a tenner... on a saturday... rarely... and only 50p e/w bets... then I won £30... then I went on the casino.. roulette... then I won £500..... then I lost £1000... then I chased... all in the space of 3 months I lost about 5k. It happens so quickly. The best thing I did was recognise I had a problem.. still relapsed once in the last 4 weeks ...even though I went through the sickening moments of realisation as most on here have and sometimes continue to do.

So... day 17... having some wine and playing bridge... only drinking rarely now.. as i think that helped instigate my rapid decline... but I enjoy a drink now and again. Bridge is becoming more enjoyable again... I lost interest when gambling... there was no "fix"... but it's coming back.

I know I now need to get a life... as the old saying goes...

Minor rant over... not much of a rant really, more a wine motivated splurge... however, I am drinking... but I am not gambling.

Another Day Towards Creating A New Me... the old one.

Jon

Day 18:

The weekend approaches.

Enjoyed wine and bridge, but, as I read on someone elses diary, solitary drinking is probably not the way forward. Time to start making more effort with friends and family.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS!

Jon

jonb2412,

i m on the same boat with you, i m a binge gambler, spending thousands euros just in one night.i m 25 days free.i know what you mean when you are feeling depressed about the loss.i m feeling depressed too.i guess its a part of the process of the recovery.if you have lost only 50 quid you woundnt bother now.but you realised you ve got a problem.this is the most important thing of the recovery.early days are tough.25 days ago i lost 4000 euros...my wage is 1400 euros...its a pain in the ash...BUT i m on day25 at the moment and nothing-i say it again-NOTHING- will stop me now.i cant wait to be on day 100-200 etc.but we-gamblers-are impatient.lets take it one day at a time.what is lost, is lost.period.dont look back.past is past.we can change the future.

take care mate

mike

Thanks Mike, and well done on your progress.

3 WEEKS:

Ups and downs. Have felt tempted these last few days, still thinking " if I could just...." but keep telling myself " I cannot win because I cannot stop".

Tho I walk in the shadow of debt, I shall fear all evil.

I need to get a hobby, connect with old friends. Before this happened, I was going to play golf all summer, now I have to sell my golf clubs. All in a short time I managed to turn my life totally upside down. So I look forward to next summer, when hopefully I will have enough to start playing again. So for now.. I need a cheap hobby.... preferably away from the computer.

Anyway, happy with 3 weeks, and like I said, ups and downs.... so not all downs... some ups.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS

Jon

well done jonb2412,

you look determined this time,3 weeks gamble free means that you are looking forward to get rid of gambling this time.

stick to this forum and take it one day at at a time.we all here the same problem.do you know how many times i ve told to my self:'what if i havent played this money?what i would have bought now?' but i then say to myself what is done, is done now.lets change the future, our future.

take care

mike

Hi Jon2412 thanks for the post, I been reading your diary, I guess I started 40 years ago on pub bandits but many years ago graduated to the arcades and bingo hall bandits, I worked up the scale as you do till the 500 jpots and wow I won some big money but also lost some big money, don't know if you have noticed but gamblers always tell of their wins but never their losses. Last year I did start the internet gambling for about 10 days and ran up huge amount on credit card over 2 grand, I stopped but putting a free block on for a month and then never bothered again, o*g it is so dangerous for gamblers to do internet cause you dont even see the money go.

Anyway you are doing real good and keep up the positive, I love my wine too!!! Nothing like a glass of red, or in my case the whole bottle haha. How about starting a new hobby, I have started to teach myself clarinet just for fun, something else to think about, tc and keep positive.

oops sorry missed out the b in your name

Thanks Mike and Juiette ( that joke could run for a while)

DAY 22: Football.... bank holiday.... rare sunday drink. Not drank in the afternoon for ages and ages... but the bottle I treat myself to on Friday... still has lots in... sooooo. And as this could be the last important weekend of football for my beloved MUFC...( apologies to all the southerners)... I should numb myself to the inevitable pain..( What is Hernandez playing at?)... so it's half time... should be 4-0 up... but ... oh well... need to win about

11-0 ..... I think.

Still a few thoughts... but if it was easy to quit, we would not all be here. Thank

( insert the name of your supreme being here) I have put blocks in place... K9... although I am thinking I should get a better one at the end of the month.

For anybody reading this that has "online" problems like me... BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK... it is the only way.

Here's wishing everyone strength, control and life.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS

Jon

You're so right, blocking really is the way forward in our recovery journeys.

My main demons were the FOBTs in the bookies and I feel so safe in the knowledge that I am now self-excluded from all bookies within 30 miles of me.

If only they came up with a system where you can only bet with an account like online...

Your blocking project seems to be going really well, keep it up!

NT

Hi Jon,

Thanks for the post. Shouldn't that be Jonb2112 then?

Yeah I am a huge fan of rock music from the late 60s onwards. Rush are a fantastic band, mostly love their old stuff. Freewill is my anthem at the moment and the lyric suits where my head is. So if you clicked on my you tube link you would have got it.

Anyway, keep going. Keep blocking whenever you can, never get complacent and don't hate yourself. What's done is done. It's what happens now and in the future that matters. By the way your love of ManU is where our things in common stop. LOL. Shame about the title, Best wishes.

IanB.

Hi Jonathan

You response to Andy10 on Supporting page was spot on. I could not find the right words but you put it perfectly. Nice onemate. Let's hope Matty finds the help he needs to move on with his life.

Take care

Hi Jon, thanks for posting on my diary, glad to see you are keeping strong, hope you are having a fab bank holiday. Keep strong x