my betting diary

Hi wp,

Sorry to hear you are in the doghouse yet again! but glad to read that you are not letting it get you down.

I couldn't agree more about the little treats. That way you have something to show for all your hard work. I was in town today, and went for a tan session for £2 - i know big money eh? - I'd been watching the news earlier about the floods in Pakistan, and found myself thinking how shallow it was to spend £2 on making my skin a bit darker when it could have helped keep people alive. then I remembered - I dont have to be perfect, i dont have to justify every penny I spend, i deserve to treat myself, and as long as im moving away from that place where i was squandering hundreds a month on my addiction - well thats enough for now.

I hope you enjoy the match, you deserve it! go hibees! i think!? lol

take care,

f x

Hi post,

Correction the game cost you £17, you found a tenner on the floor remember!!! I saw the highlights as well, bloody hell get a foot in son lol. Glad to see that you are no longer in the dog house. Long may that continue.

Stay Strong

Steve

Thanks seano,hatch(17 weekends by the way odaat as you know) ,freda and yorkie ...last night planned a day in york and even invitation for my parents to join us for a day at edin zoo as part of kids hols....sounds good got some overtime in today and gets text sayin booked holiday away for week au revoir(prob sounds worse than it is as like i say travel agents not got much at present si said maybe cheaper with 3 of them going ) ...numerous phone calls and texts later unanswered and didnt want to seem i was hassling ,im still none the wiser 🙁 ....so tonight man city v liverpool on i thought stuff it few beers to watch match (as ive said payday rich for weekend skint for 3) ....interesting while watching match with my workmate i had to press a plunger with roulette wheel for 241/ 15 % off / full price drinks etc etc...this i felt uncomfortable with as my instincts told me it was a form of gambling....have i just wasted 252 days ??? Doubt it but it makes me wonder maybes im taking my recovery too seriously...anyways despite being miserable , today i did not bet tomorrow i wont bet we CAN do this folks....

Hi Post--I do not think you can ever take your recovery too seriously. Perhaps if anything though we need to accept that certain things in life happen. Perhaps we take parts of life too seriously at times.

Around our way I used to play both darts and skittles in a local pub. After the game, the landlord used to take a blackout card round to raise some money to pay for the supper--do you think it would be alright to have a go on that as a refusal may cause offence or do you think that I should just give them a quid towards the food without having a go? If I did have a go, is that gambling? I suppose the obvious answer is yes but is it wrong to have a go on the card?

Again I suppose it would depend on the person as this may trigger somebody to go back to gambling.

All the best mate

Stumper

Hi wp.

Hope your not feeling too miserable now mate.

And don't worry about the "roulette".Your 252 days or so are not wasted mate.Far from it....all the pain and emotions you have been through this year mate its something to be well proud of...the fact that your still Gamble Free!

You stay strong my friend.

Viggo.

Hi wp.

I appreciate your post mate and take full note of your former attempt to control your gambling by recording everything in writing.

I'll be entirely honest if my present approach fails.

I'm not sure why i picked your diary to post on when i had a 5 minute window on holiday. I guess it was because i was so proud of you for walking in the bookies and not returning to your former ways.

Keep it up wp.

Hi wp,

I cannot see any way at all that the roulette wheel affects your 252 days - but I know what you mean about feeling that way - I suppose it is a bit of the gambler's mentality - "all or nothing" eh?

Anyway - 17 weeks to go - we'll tick them off slowly BUT surely - as long as we take it ODAAT!!

All the best

Hatch

Hi wp, how are you doing fella. Sorry to hear you were feeling a bit down in your last post. It's a long hard road to get that trust and understanding back. It's good that you got out and enjoyed yourself over a few beers. Don't worry about the roulette thing, certainly not gambling in my eyes and no you should always take gambling very seriously. Stay strong fella. Russ

Hey wp,it's hard for you at the minute,and i admire the absolute strength of character that you have,...all the constant moving of goalposts that you have to try to deal with would try the patience of a saint,and through all of it you are still gamble free,that's a fantastic achievement you know!!!.

Seano.

Hey wp,

Were you drinking at a student bar there pal? Can't say I'm too big a fan of all the bright colours etc!

Your stoicism in dealing with all the messing about is admirable mate, and even facing down the bookies and winning the other week. Don't worry about being skint for most of the month, I bet half the country has their best week straight after payday!

Keep your chin up, and keep dealing with everything thrown at you.

All the best, and your 252 days are definitely still intact.

Ryan

Thanks as always my friends....3 diaries have left this week alone and with stumper taking a break the diaries are certainly much changed these days....i do find it difficult to post myself as much of my problems lie both financially and relationship for now but both are still connected to my devious gambling past i suppose.....some of you are very fortunate to have understanding partners as well as little debt but its all my own doing and its up to me to make changes one way or another in my life(ive never been one for decision making) ..a couple of interesting diaries on here are even facing prison due to this evil addiction..very scary stuff.....i have to be honest and state i have had one or two gambling thoughts myself maybes off reading other not so fortunate diaries but im more determined to keep them at that,just thoughts...guards and barriers up the fight goes on !!! .today i have not bet tomorrow i wont bet,we CAN do this folks 🙂

hi wp

Thanks for your post mate, well if i am an inspiration so are you!!

Your last post says it all, i go a little green reading about families who support not disown. But hey, such is life and all that!!

Your doing great in your recovery, seen many come and go whilst i been on this forum, myself included, lol...But for me this forum is a huge part of my recovery and i found myself drawn back to it, far better than gambling tho!!!

Anyway im waffling, bit of insonia tonight, sorry..

take care mate and thanks again for posting, ands

Still finding it a struggle after all these months (plenty time on hands this week for relationship reasons ) but thats what these diaries are for when struggling POST its far better than throwing your monies away ...today i have not bet tomorrow i wont bet.,we can do this folks 🙂

wp, you know the routine fella, you know what's needed. I appreciate that you are going through a tough spell. Can you remember when I had five days at home by myself. I struggled with that, I can't imagine how you do it. Stay strong fella and keep your chin up. Things will get better. Russ

wp,

There are times when we're going to struggle - we have to take that as read.

I, for what its worth, go back to the start of my diary and just read the first few pages. Transporting myself back to that dark place I was in - when I first cam back here. Also read a few other's "first pages" - hopefully, it will give you renewed vigour to fight the disease.

Keep it going mate - you're work on here is invaluable and we need a wp to aim for in our continued fight!!

All the best

Hatch