my betting diary

wp,i know exactly where your coming from mate!!!!,i'm still in the position of having to think very carefully about having a haircut,i'm about 5 weeks overdue one!!!.It's only natural to wonder if it's all worth the effort we put in when it seems like we are only treading water,but it is:).You will get there mate.

Seano.

Hi wp,

sorry if I come across wrong there. I was meaning that when I scrimped and scraped too much, I would get so miserable that I would gamble for escapism. Was just sharing that experience, to say don't be too strict with yourself.

However, I'd no idea that things were literally THAT tight for you. I apologise. I've not been in such an extreme situation financially, so I shouldn't pass comment.

I have a lot of respect for your success in recovery under very difficult circumstances. You DO have something to show for 10 months bet-free though. They are 10 months that you will not have to exist like this again. Presumably, at some point your standard of living and your disposable income will improve? For example, say you have to live like this for 4 years, before things ease up a bit - you have done nearly a quarter of that. Do you really want to go back to square 1 and have the whole 4 years to do again?

Im not trying to make out that things are not hard for you, or be patronising. Just trying to point out the positives.

Take care,

f x

Hi wp.

Hey mate you ain't going wrong....your on the right track!

As for money.....yeah its hard.My life is better now but its not all down to cash.Holiday we had this year my parent-inlaws paid for.

Don't go to get my hair cut any more.....do most of it myself and the wife takes the parts i can't reach....i'm glad i still have some hair as my dad went bald in his 30's!

You know what wp life is a b**** at the worst of times but would it be any better with gambling????

I feel for you mate that money is tight and i really do hope that some day soon you will be able to enjoy the simple things in life again.....

You are totally right in saying we are all different...but we do have that one think in common....the dreaded evil!

I'm going to keep saying this to you wp... some day whether it be sooner or later things will fall into place that will suit you just fine!

All the best.

Viggo.

Life is so much better when we don't gamble and we are all in complete and utter agreement with this.

All this scrimping and saving will give us that extra bit of skill that many people don't have - a massive respect for money, no matter how small it is.

And it's a skill that will give us great grounding for a really positive future!

Enjoy a gamble free weekend.

GT

Hi wp, thanks for your support. The argument has been forgotten and it wasn't as bad as previous ones, so progress has been made. You should get your hair cut, I have a picture of you in my head as a member of zztop! I appreciate life is tough for you, keep strong and don't give in to those urges.

Hi wp

Been a wee while and sorry to read you are feeling P*ssed off at the mo. You will no doubt get passedf that soon though and get back to positivity but it is only natural to feel that way at times when the finances are so tight. The main thing is you are still moving forward and I am so glad to see that.

Really hope life throws you a bit of 'luck' at some point in that respect though as you def deserve it.

Kind thoughts

Eyes X

Hi wp,

Im with you all the way on the 'everyone if different' front, I would gamble my organs if I could of.

I get really P*ssed of phases they do pass, its just so annoying knowing what we've wasted in time, money and life etc

You are in a much better place by not gambling so dont get to worried about the finances.

Your luck will change, you are owed it my friend.

Keep going, we are all here for you.

Smokey

Hi WINNINGPOST

I know exactly where you are coming from in regards of how peoples addiction to gambling may al be different.

When i gamble..i gamble..i mean like every single last penny..then i got to asda and use the self servive till with my card with the 1-9 pounds i had left in my account i couldnt withdraw from a cashpoint.

A few weeks ago i did all my wages in..it was a thursaday evening..i had £1.90 left on my card. i did my weekly shopping with that..yes weekly...to last me until the next thursday..and i managed it somehow!!! after just doing £50 a spin goes on the roulette like there was no tomorrow!

I dont own property..sold my car...no savings..nothing really of value at all!

i pay my rent..pay for my childrens upkeep...and the rest since i got back into work as been gambled!!! sad huh?? time to change!!

and what is different now you say after all the weeks of not gambling. forget the money aspect( although you would be a lot worse off/ more in debt..beacuse we can always find the money)....remember the good old gambling hangover...the morning after a big loss. its worse than any drink fuelled hangover right? for me its one of the worst feelings in the world..waking hoping you had a nightmare.....you are making great progress mate..dont let it slip! take care.

neil

Special thanks to russ,gt,viggo,freda,seano,eyes,smokey and ade :-)... another day goes by with no contact from the ex...its over a week now since i saw the kids.,as every hour passes it emotionally drains me..,i am not gonnae whinge on about being potless as well....the one thing keeping me going is the odaat abstainence but even thats a struggle...i spent a whole weekend pondering what if ?? Because i had time on my hands but gladly didnt 😉 maybe being 120 miles away from parents and friends is starting to take its toll or maybe its time to get off my a r se and stop being so down.....one things for sure,its gonnae be a long long winter...its time for more counsellin i think...my 6 months is just about up...i find it strange how gamcare wont allow you any more counsellin after 22 sessions as if thats enough and all will be ok ...well my 6 months is nearly up so i can hopefully regain confidence in beating this evil by getting MORE counsellin....today i did not bet tomorrow i wont bet,take care folks we can do this 🙂

Hi wp,i'm sorry that your feeling down at the moment,that ex of yours does you up like a kipper all the time mate and my heart goes out to you:),i honestly don't know what to suggest that i haven't said to you before either on here, or in private,the only thing i can say on the poitive side of things is that you have immense inner strength!!!,i really hope you can get some more counselling to help you through the next few months.I keep saying it wp and i believe it's true.........things will get better:).

Seano.

Thanks for your post wp, it spooked me! I was indeed staying at the marine hotel in north berwick. We played north berwick which was just beautiful. It made me want to live there, amazing beaches and friendly people. Needless to say it was a work event....but enjoyable all the same. It sounds like you are really down at the moment. I don't blame you, not seeing the kids is tough. Like seano, I don't really know what to say to you fella. Maybe you could transfer all the positive posts you give everybody onto yourself? Keep being strong. Russ

Hi Winningpost,

Many thanks for posting on my diary. I always appreciate your kind words and support.

I am so sorry to hear that you are down at the moment. I really hope your ex gets in contact soon and you get to see the kids.

What you could maybe do is invite friends and/or family to yours some weekend for a few drinks? Nothing too pricey as I know finances are tight. My mate lives about 80 miles away and he invites us all up to his. We would all bring an item each of food each and plenty of booze then just listen to some music and have a good chat. Not sure if that could be an option for you?

I am really shocked that Gamcare won't give you any more counselling after 22 sessions. I would have thought it was as many as it took to help you over your recovery. I hope you manage to gather the strength to continue your great progress in fighting this terrible addiction Winningpost.

I am still quite new to the site myself and in the early stages of my recovery but one thing I do know is how great a guy you are Winningpost and as Ade pointed out - you are an inspiration to many. If I can be of any help at all please do not hesitate to contact me and I will see what I can do.

Stay strong mate, please don't give up and take care - together we can beat this.

Micky D

Hi wp.

As ever thanks for your post.

Really really sorry to hear how your feeling at the moment mate.

All this with your ex,not enough time with your kids and your money situation would be enough to make most people feel the way you do now.

That you do feel vunerable now its only normal mate with what your going through!

I can only imagine that being far away from family,friends hasn't helped either.

I really hope you do get the help(counselling) You want and need mate......thats the least you deserve.

You have so much on your mind wp and i do think its a good idea that you do get more counselling whether that be from camecare or hopefully some where else then.

When someone has come so far without gambling as you wp then there should be no limit on how much counselling is needed for you or anyone else on here.......camecare should be there for you.

Write down wp how you feel mate those days especially you are down(if you feel like it) until you get the counselling you need it might just help.

You know you have an army of followers on here who are here for you!

But on a bright note you haven't given up and you haven't gambled!

That in it self is such an achievement wp.

Wishing you my very best wp.

Viggo!

About 42 weeks now?

These negative thoughts are aparently (what the duck would I know???) common. It's the gambling demon at you... trying to drag you down so that you will look for a punt as a way of escapism. That's why people lapse after 12 or 18 months. (again what the duck would I know... I'm finding it tough at less than halfway through where you are)

Your last 42 weeks has been miserable and my heart goes out to you. The next year wil probably be fairly s***e too but that's because it was always going to be difficult trying to dig yourself out of this hole. Relationship-wise and debt-wise. Keep the head down my friend. You are doing really well, you truly are. The prize is there for you. See the bigger picture and let go of these stresses.

The work you are doing today is for a good tomorrow. That's for you and your kids !!!

Well done again.

Brian

hi wp, thanks for your posts and kind words.

I cannot imagine how i would cope in your shoes, and take my hat off to you - you are much stronger than you probably realise.

To have stayed away from gambling, when life is testing you to the limit, is AMAZING.

i too this week do not have the preverbial pot to wee in ( same for the last 6 months !)

but what would i do if i had any ? - be happy ?, or would it simply tempt me back into my old old familiar ways ?

who knows ?

you've come along way in these 42 weeks - it might not seem like that because of family problems, but you have - and to top it all, you help so many others as well.

Thank you.

all the best

tommi