My diary

Having to come clean all over again was awful. Just made an appointment for local counselling through gamcare. I'm in bits now! Addmitting I've got a problem all over again. Maybe I didn't fully accept it the first time around? Anyway, help is in place and there is nothing left to hide again.

Day 2 - trying again

In it together wants2stop 🙂 xx

re-gig day 2

Thinking a lot today. Tired from work but OH is a star and cooking dinner. Assessment counciling session tomorrow. Nervous. But a step in the right direction.

Still sorting finances. 1 day at a time

Good on you Rednow.

I'm pleased to see you've hooked arms up with W2S and will be able gee each other on.

Also good on you with regards to the councillor. No need to be nervous more proud.

Hope you enjoyed your feed from OH and I'm sure all he wants is a happy non gambling OH

Good luck today x

Thanks guys xx

I'm sure that is all he wants volcano. Need to remember that when I'm battling with the debt guilt and feeling the urge!

Councilling went well and told OH about an unexpected bill.

Honesty all the way today - feels good. Wishing everyone a gamble free weekend 🙂 let's focus on starting next week on a positive xx

Well done Red & keep good work up!
Honesty is indeed best policy and you have it in buckets ☺

Hope counselling provides you with much more understanding and you can start healing process more quicker. It's great to have somebody to talk to and know that they listen and advice you from proffesional point of view.

You are doing great!
One day at a time - keep on winning

Sandra x

Glad it went well 🙂

Day 4

Thanks for the continued support guys. It's really needed in these early days. Heavy night last night. I didn't gamble but can't say I didn't get the urge! But the OH was a star and refused to leave me alone all evening to ensure I didn't cave. I will get strong enough eventually to resist on my own but just knowing he's is also on guard is an extra block, one I don't want to lose!

Another gf day - 1 day at a time

Just wrote this on Reddys thread and decided I need to take my own advice as well! So for future reference -

Hey Reddy, just read your thread and know the feelings all to well! You're doing the right thing recognising the urges now after the first big loss and coming on here to manage those urges. We've all fellen in to that same old trap!

You seem like a very level headed person (working out how to manage the loses and thinking about it in ways which lessen the blow e.g how it works out over 12 months) which can sometimes make the mistake feel even worse. We feel like we can beat/out smart the system in some way to get back what we lost but ultimately even the biggest win would be wasted because we cannot stop. Trust me. After my first couple of big wins (20p spin turned to £200) then to my first big loss (£400 in to over draft). I am now 18 months later £14,000 down and in councilling all due to chasing.

Let it go dude. £100 a month is not a big deal, equates to a nice dinner/few drinks out at the weekend.

Like you I was sensible, I have a good income, amazing boyfriend and I can't believe I've risked it all so many times due to my own inability to admit I was a mug. It is a mugs game.

Sorry didn't mean for this to turn in to a rant! Lol. But please trust me when you have those little urges that no good will come from risking it again.

We need to remember - anything worth having, never comes easy. I'm looking to the future with you!

Have a peaceful gamble free weekend 🙂

Hi,

Thanks for the post on my thread. It is one of my favourites on there.

"Let it go dude" love it! It's just what my sisters would say if they could see inside my head. I've not been able to tell them yet, think tho if urges get worse they will be in charge of my money.

Wish u well with stopping gambling for good. It really is total uneccesary risk and stress like you tell me. I'll be thinking of that when I feel urges! Thanks

Day 5

Glad I put a smile on your face reddy and thanks for the good luck wishes. Today has been up and down but I keep thinking about councilling on Thursday and this brings me back to reality and what I want for the future. No amount of risk taking will get me to where I want to be, only hard work and discipline will do.

I will not be a mug and think I can cheat/gamble my way out of the debt. I don't have an edge because I cannot stop. All the precious wins (which have been considerable on more than one occasion!) didn't solve my problems and they never will.

One day at time I will win this time without gambling!

Day 6

Feeling really down and fed up today. OH paid off last credit card and now have had to get another one due to last slip. I wouldn't mind but he now has the cleared credit card and in the past has been just as bad with money as me. This is playing havoc with my anxiety about my debt now and I'm fully aware that it's at these times I feel the urge to frantically try and win it back.

I know that will never work but it's the despair that get its grip on me! Breathing deep and putting my trust in my OH. I certainly can't trust myself!

1 day at a time - being still and changing focus. Actually looking forward to councilling.

You will trust yourself.....

Monday blues mixed in with guilt. You can't push the process and as you rightfully said, one day at a time...

Focus the word for today....

All I want to do right now is play demo slots! But instead I've come on here. Have sold some stuff today so tomorrow I will finish work and get on with packing and posting it. I will stop using slots to pass the time. Much more productive things to do. Tomorrow will be 1 week gamble free 🙂