My diary

So stressed, tired and uptight! All I want to do is play slots, even just the demo! But I will not give in!! Haven't even attempted it so still winning.

New focus - what shall be my one week reward......!? 🙂

Well done Red on dismissing those thoughts. and keeping strong.

We do get rewarded every single day we don't play and that is a very big reward lol.

Suzanne xxx

You're so right Suzanne 🙂 xx

So stressed, tired and uptight! All I want to do is play slots, even just the demo! But I will not give in!! Haven't even attempted it so still winning.

Can't seem to shake it tonight 🙁 in such a bad mood. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Keep fighting...It will pass! Go for a walk, have a bath or simply just read, read, read...The addiction (or Mr Gamble as I like to call him) does not want to see you go (he hates this forum)!

Everytime you beat a day like this, you wake up stronger! Keep fighting - ODAAT

Hi Rednow I am new on here. Have had headache all day, going over and over how stupid I have been and feeling very angry with life. So understand how you feel. Thankfully the bad mood is going as I have a little puppy who loves me unconditionally and when I need a cuddle she is there bless. Your bf sounds very mature and loving so remember he is worth fighting this addiction for and having the future you both deserve. I used to be married and hid the extent of my spending until one day I told him I had to leave him, he was distraught and it would have been so easy to make up something to put the blame on him as to be honest he wasnt the easiest person to live with! however after a few days my friend said I should be honest with him about the debt and I was and although he ranted on a bit I told him once this was sorted he was never to throw it back in my face and this was a new start. I started a debt management scheme and once the creditors were sorted life was a lot better. However the marriage still failed and I am happy to have my own place which is paid for and a healthy pension. However I only had myself to answer to and it was so easy to gamble online and even justify it!! and money wasnt an issue however I could not justify the wasted time or the mood swings that stopped me enjoying my family and grandchildren.Also money doesnt last forever and I have thrown away so much money that I could have used on my family. You are in a lovely relationship so hang onto it and dont let this pathetic addiction become your life as you have the chance to do so many other special things. Tommorow will be a better day 🙂

Still feeling a little rotton this morning but just seen credit card balance and have dodged another overdrawn for now. Thanks for the comments they really do help and give me that little boost of positivity 🙂

Here goes, day 6, closing in on 1 week! I will not gamble today.

Day 6 Red, well done.

Keep going one whole week of winning tomorrow, how good is that.

Suzanne xxx

1 week will be amazing! Had another stressful day and all I want to do is relax with Mr G (ODAAT ;)) but he's not supportive of my goals lol.

Feel really down tonight. Anxiety is making me really insecure and feeling quite sick so sent myself to bed early. Pretty sure these are the feelings that I use gambling to escape from, so it's time to face up to them.

They're just feelings and they too will pass. (Hopefully) I will not use it as an excuse to gamble.

Practicing patience

Hi Rednow,

I can see you're struggling at the moment.

You may find it easier if you take away the option to play the slots.

If you had a drink problem and had alcohol in the fridge of course you would find it more difficult than if you had none in the house.

Im not saying destroy your laptop or anything (lol)

A number of things spring to mind;

Keep yourself busy on an evening (companies great - friends/partners)
Self exclude from the sites you use. Install this blocking software (K9) that ive heard about on here
Order a new bank card and get someone to scratch off the security number so you cant deposit

A week is a great start, I hope you keep it up. All the best.

Mark

Thanks guys

K9 is in place and don't have a laptop so I'm all set. Just being very honest with my feelings so I can really be aware of my triggers. Had aweful dreams last night about having to chase people and then being chased through someone's house like it was a sick game - I think the comparison is quite easy to draw! Feeling much better this morning so hopefully I'm over a big bump in the road.

It's Friday! 🙂

Congratulations on your week 🙂

& well done for not falling for Mr Gamble's lies 🙂 The 'dreams' may not be pleasant but once the heart stops racing, it's always nice to know they were just that!

Keep winning - ODAAT

Today is also a new month and I am determind to not have any gambling transactions on my bank account (which should be easy with the blocks in place).

Staying strong and determind!