It has been many times before I've felt myself go, right that is it. No more gambling for me. However the next day there I go again, getting irate because the last bet on my accumulator goes the wrong way, or the odds on favourite Horse falls at the last. Then there are the times I get into a spiral and just deposit £100 after £100 to some dodgy looking casino website thinking my numbers will come up soon enough.
Well that is enough, I make myself miserable doing it, I feel rubbish before, during and after and worst of all I can't talk to anybody about it as my partner would no doubt leave me and my friends think I'm actually a successful gambler.
Reading some of the diaries on here my debts don't seem to be as deep as some however a debt it still a debt and whilst I won't list what I owe and where, it is safe to say I owe a four figure amount on my credit card which is not a great place to be.
Tonight I've signed up for gamstop and self excluded from all existing accounts I have. This is going to be seriously difficult for me to do but here goes.
P
Hi Pete,
I noticed that Deirdre has already replied to you in the new members section and encouraged you to contact the Helpline or Netline.
It looks as though you have set up a big discrepancy in how people view you and how you actually are and feel. This makes it very difficult to be yourself and to find a way to get better.
You seem very convinced that people would reject the real you, if they knew. It doesn´t look like hiding is the answer though as nothing changes.
Maybe you could take a step by just telling one person about what really goes on with you. One person who you trust. That could be a good first step. What do you think?
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Happened again. Relapsed over the past few days and gambled more. Feeling absolutely useless and like there is no end to the tunnel. Rarely do i get upset but all i do is let myself down. Cant even begin to think how i will get out of this now. If anyone has any support services i can contact thatd be great
How did u relapse with ur blocks in place u need to multi selfexclude from all bookies which is easy with just one phone call
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