So day 16 of no gambling and it feels great. Told my partner about my secret gambling 8 days ago. He was very supportive and then had an angry stage, which is to be expected. We have talked through everything and got a plan for finances etc.. self excluded/blocks in place, credit cards cut up. Today is not a good day. Not because I want to gamble or have any urges to as I really don't. It's the last thing on my mind. However, my partner has flipped his lid today about money. I thought we had worked it out and I'm not stupid I know he is going to be mad about what I've done. It just reiterates what an idiot I have been by blowing a load of money to achieve nothing only misery and upset. All week has been great between us and then today it's not. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to get used to this and I have no one else to blame but myself. Hope we can recover from this.
I totally understand your post. Don't be so hard on yourself you've made great progress. You did well not going out to gamble after a argument. Your partner was probably annoyed that they didn't realise the person they care about had fallen into the trap of addiction. We forget the affects it has on those we love. It's hard for you right now but that misery will turn into a better life. 16 days is fantastic keep it up. I totally get you when you say blowing all that money for nothing but misery I'm exactly the same at this moment in time but there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Keep at it your doing well x
Sorry to read this, and being about a week behind you in having come clean, I cant offer much reassurance that things will improve. Something someone posted on my thread rings true, which is to remember that we've lived with this knowledge for a long time, and to them they are only just learning about it and anger comes before acceptance, so as unpleasant and hard as they are, I guess we just need to stay calm and quiet and accept the other person where they are right there.
Day 18 check in. No urges or temptations, which feels great. On the down side I do feel really low today. Just want to cry and can't seem to hold it in. Guess the true effect of what I have done is hitting me. Feel so guilty about letting my fella and children down. Feel so selfish that I'm feeling upset that my fella hasn't asked how I am and he just keeps getting angry about the money but also feel it's important that I put all this down on here whether good or bad. I know this is going to take a long time to get easier and I will come out the other side feeling better and positive. Thank you Kellie and Panders for your posts they mean a lot. Very true that I've known this for months and my fella is just taking this all in and I understand his anger. He did tell me he loves me on my way out the door to this morning to work. So here's hoping we get through this destruction I've caused. X
Ask yourself sweetie how many times you've walked away from gambling in tears, frustration and had sleepless nights? 18 days is amazing be proud of how far you have come and remember you've done the hardest parts. You've admitted to yourself you had a problem. You've joined the forum and you've come clean to your partner now your on your way to recovery. I ain't saying it's easy far from it have you self excluded yourself from the places you were gambling? This is hard but psychologically there's no temptation being placed in your way. I have banned myself. Your going to have down days no doubt about that but please look at the positives in all of this. It's took courage and Strength to get where you are yeah we all feel selfish when we realise how much money we have wasted on this awful addiction. Thing is we can't change that and getting angry won't solve the situation. Your winning everyday by turning your life around. You can't change the past we can all learn from it. If it's any help this is an illness and am I going to let it beat me? Am I heck I'm going to kick its bloody a*s! Seriously your doing so well and once the anger stops your family including yourself will be so proud x
Thank you Kellie. I am doing well and I'm not going to let this beat me. Day 19 going strong. X
Every day will be a bonus long as you are gf so pat yourself on the back its a start.Yes your husband will go through a wave of emotions remember its a lot to process but hopefully in time long as you continue to do whatever it takes to get yourself back on track he will see the effort you are making but dont take anything for granted just take the rough with the smooth.Be on your guard,dont get complacement and remember this is a long hard battle that can be overcome with big rewards bigger than any rewards gambling gives which we all know there isnt any.good luck
Thank you jayd, your comments give me hope and strength to get through this, there are no benefits to gambling, I just felt miserable the whole time mainly, I don't even remember getting a buzz from it. This gives me determination when I remember how it made me feel. Been a couple of emotional days between me and my man but we are talking and being strong for each other and at the moment I can't ask for more than that. Day 22, no urges to gamble, seeing the adverts on the tele constantly for the online sites makes my blood boil. No intentions of going back there. X
Day 25. Keeping busy, mind focused on money saving strategies, gas and electric, insurance and mobile phones. Saved £150 a month by having a good shop around now my mind is focused on other things rather than panic and fear about losing money gambling. It feels good. X
Hiya, so pleased to hear you're still doing well. How are things with your husband? Tricky for me too as my husband is still trying to process what he learned just over a week ago and I'm so much further down the road than him but he's struggling 🙁
Hi Panders. I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same as you. My fella is still trying to process everything at the moment. He is fine some days then has mad angry moments. I think the only thing to do is take the rough with the smooth and ride it out. It's hard when you want their support but feel like you are receiving nothing from them. On the flip side, I guess they are still taking it all in and I think my fella particularly at the moment doesn't want to offer much support as I brought it all on myself. He also reiterates how much trouble I could have got us into with debt, which I cannot disagree with him. I'm hoping for us and yourself that as time goes on and we continue to show them we are committed to this and to getting our lives back on track without gambling being a part of it then things will start to get easier/better in our relationships. 26 days being gamble free, I know I can do this. X
Day 28. Stressful weekend with my man having an angry couple of days with me again, but this week has been good so far. Take the rough with the smooth. No feelings or urges to gamble. It's a long road ahead but no feelings or urges to gamble so very pleased with this. I can and will do this.
Day 33. The strength to carry on being gamble free continues. Thinking of how I felt, anxious, sleepless nights, scared, keeps me going that I never want to feel like that again. X
Day 39. No gambling. All is well apart from my partner still getting angry ever now and again. I think this will be the case for a long time coming, he is finding it more difficult than I am, which I understand as he is still taking it all in. I hope we get through this. At least I don't feel the need or the want to gamble which is a positive . X
Hliya, so pleased to hear that like me you've still GF, 34 days for me and I am feeling really strong, struggled with the lack of emotional support from husband but just when I thought I needed to say something about it, things turned around after we had a financial review and he told me he was proud of how little I had spent. We have a joint goal and he's seeing it as a challenge to save costs too which had united us on a different level. x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
