My recovery diary

Hello lou xx how are you doing xxx

Thanks for popping by Debsy hope your well.

Im just really struggling right now to the point it feels unbearable 

Lou x

That sounds awful. Is there any support that the phone line could offer

Hi Lou,

Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. Just recently i did also but my counsellor really made sense in explaining how brains work and what we can do when feeling low.

I know its difficult but try and change one sad thought with a positive one. Doesn't have to be something major..even "i made a cup of tea for myself today" - shows self care and willingness to hold for that hope. Hope is very important and actually quite connected with a thought. We can do a lot more and change the thinking..which automatically changes emotions (super important!) and ultimately actions...allow yourself some breathing space..deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth..allow yourself grounding..see your surroundings and aknowledge little details. These can also help you to assess your feelings and help you understand that there is a lot more to continue fighting for.

Most importantly - be kind to yourself. Maybe call a friend or any support services. Chats helps a lot..its distraction and can truly turn the day upside down.

Wish you well, please stay safe

S&B xx

Thankyou both 

And SB i actually spoke to someone earlier on the phone and they discussed the same instead of thinking how you want to fix everything in a day..just focus on a little goal each day as you said. I struggle with the basics a lot but instead of focusing on one of them i end up getting overwhelmed with my thoughts.  I am a bit calmer this afternoon.

I got a harry potter lego set for christmas and i started it because i didnt want the person to think i wasnt bothered as i did like it so i started it just to show them but i am actually finding it a really good distraction. So ive done a bit more of it today and that has helped.

Speaking to someone today, using chat and doing the legos helped me through today more. Ive been wuite upset and low recently but i havent gambled although i came close.

Thankyou to everyone thats been supportive as well 

Lou x

Ive decided to be brave and go for a secondment at work..going to be applying tonight..but been thrown off because ive been told by my mental health team gp has actually prescribed wrong dose of antidepressant so i will have to ring gp tomorrow and try and resolve that, but thats frustrating..but it means my dose will be even higher so hopefully that can help.

Meanwhile i think im 153 days gf. 

Finding a lot if what is in the media stressful lately its so hard to escape from it as well ..you turn the radio on..its there..you go on social media its there..some things are triggering and thats when i miss the 'gambling zone'. I wont gamble but thats how i feel. 

Hi Lou I read your post about doing Lego I found doing puzzles was my go to place just thought I share that with you                            
   Scotty??

Hi Lou glad to see u doing soo well

Thankyou scotty and adam.

Not feeling physically well today..i really hope i can get to sleep tonight and sleep it off. 

161 days Gamble Free ! I really have resisted some urges,the blocks have helped but i think its the determination to stay on the recovery path and not let one urge mess it up thats helped.

Today has had positive and negative emotions as a lot had happened i dont want to post too much here about the stresses. It has been an exhausting day. 

However I have also found out i have an interview for a new position at work i applied for.

On the work front things feel a lot better compared to the last year or 2 and work is a big aspect of my life it helps gives me a focus.

I have come a long way over a year but at the same time i am still ashamed i ended up as bad as i did mentally and gambling. I am still struggling but i am trying.

Lou x

162 days 

Amazing milestone Lou x   and an inspiration for others 

well done!

Best Wishes,

Fiona 

Forum Admin

Posted by: Forum admin

Amazing milestone Lou x   and an inspiration for others 

well done!

Best Wishes,

Fiona 

Forum Admin

 

Totally agree with the kind words posted by Fiona. 

In my eyes you are an absolute treasure Lou and your honesty, courage and resilience has inspired me on many occasion. 

Admiration and respect to a gamcare warrioress first class.

From

Aum x 

Morning Lou and may I echo Fiona and Stephen in saying ... you're doing great 🙂