My first diary!

Yo,

Sitting here with a double decker in each hand,.......

90 days what can I say that has not been said already,

Hope you are treating yourself today, cause boy do you deserve it.

See a night of horror coming on lol

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxx

Good Afternoon Diary,

Day 90 - First of all many many thanks for the posts this morning. I had a re-read of my diary a couple of weeks back and saw certain people had been offering support pretty much from day 1 it's brilliant that it is virtually the exact same people still doing so. In no particular order Blondie,Shiny,Dunc,NT,Lucy,Rach,Charlotte,Ricky,Steg,Tomso,Wilsy thanks for all the posts. Castle if you ever return to the forum you are missed buddy and I hope the addiction has not recaptured you. If I missed anyone there I apologise all support is greatly appreciated.

90 days today because I tend to post during the day I am always a day ahead of myself so it will not be until bedtime tonight I have completed the 90 days. Tomorrow I will be out for lunch it was not planned as a 90 day achievement meal but I will take it haha! I set the milestone and I was advised at my very first GA meeting to enjoy my recovery so why not celebrate a milestone.

I have learned a great deal in my 90 days and I by no means claim to be an expert BUT you can very quickly learn the things you will need to know to give you the best possible chance to cope (notice not beat) with this addiction.

What is important to remember for any new member potentially reading this is coping with this addiction is not rocket science. The methods, tools, barriers, you need to put in place are very simple actually. Now don't confuse the sentence, coping with the addiction is far from easy infact it will be a lifetime battle but you can help yourself. The key is commitment!! You MUST (In bold and Capitals) want to give up!! This is the WILLPOWER, you will be told you cannot give up through sheer willpower and this is so true but you still need it. It's still an ingredient. You MUST (In bold and Capitals) take or seek any support possible!! You MUST (In bold and Capitals) take away at least one of the three key gambling ingredients TIME, MONEY, LOCATION! You do this and you increase your chances 100 fold of coping with this.

The reason it is so difficult to cope with this is because you will ALWAYS need to do this. There are no exceptions. You remove any one of the above factors and I'm pretty sure you will go back to gambling. Another reason why it's difficult? It's hard to give up your money, the power of control. 2 years ago I wouldn't do it, too pigheaded! Ended up £20,000 worse off! It takes a big person to accept help I have learnt that in the last 90 days.

I read another diary the other day and I had got a mention for something I had said. It wasn't my words really I have probably heard the same or similar thing said a thousand times. However, the point was the people who succeed generally are those who put the most into their recovery. I'm only 90 days in but I have a confidence that I will reach 180, 270, 365 not a complacency, a confidence. Why can I be confident? I will ensure my barriers remain in place. I will not have money, I will have internet blocks, I will attend GA like its a hospital appointment, I will come to my diary each day!

Note: If I ever slip I would like to someone to re-post the above paragraph to me. I could virtually guarantee if I did slip at least one of the above factors had been removed causing it .

As for Gamcare this place is brilliant! Support in abundance but no pressure if things are a bit tough. I have had times where I couldn't post to others, just gone through the motions wrote a few lines on my own diary and left it. People don't judge you, we are all the same here compulsive gamblers if you are struggling with something I can virtually guarantee at least 5 other people have been through it.

I will end with this old saying Keep Your friends close and your enemies closer! On this site you can make some great friends but nothing will be closer than gambling. You keep a diary everyday you will talk about gambling everyday. It's like at school I made friends with the hard as nails kid, I didn't like him but you respect him. Same as gambling you don't have to like it but respect it, co-exist with it. Every day say today I will not gamble! Don't say I never want you again, don't say I'm stronger than you cos that brute will bully you, beat you, grind you down. Just feed it's ego a bit say I keep this diary because of you and take it one day at a time. The addiction cannot be beaten it just needs to be lived with and respected.

You learn a lot in 90 days! I will see you all in another 90 I am confident! Until then I am off to eat my double deckers!

Flagg Day 90 - Going on and on and on!

If you get bored reading I just always wanted to be a philosopher ignore me 🙂

Hi Flagg

What a great treat me for today a huge long post to see what I av been missing , really pleased ur still doin fantastically well and still speaking many wise word , can see in ur post everything u av learned over the months bits from others and with ur own added input and thoughts , every word is true and will only help others and remind urself

Beside all this just wanted to say a massive thank u for supporting me in my dark times just wanted u to know it was greatly appreciated and it's helped me pull through

Hopefully will be sticking around but maybe not as much , for now though is good to be back

Thanks again

Castle2

Hey Flagg,

Thank u sooo much 4 ur post on my diary 2day. It was a really kind post and means alot 🙂

Enjoy ur lunch 2moro and celebration u deserve it!

U r doing brilliant, have fun 2moro 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

flagg. Fella may i say a massive well done to you in reaching 90 days this is a milestone which i know at ga is marked as a momentous one as they feel you are then tuned into the programme, well my friend you for me have been tuned in for some time and have in your quest to arrest your addiction built an armoury of an infantry to battle those urges each day your wonderfull humour and humility shines through your posts and gamble free life is giving you more! Keep making that choice flagg. No bet today, just for today. Duncs stepping forward never back.

Flagg,

What an amazing post to read this early in the morning. Ninety days bet free is fabulous and you deserve all the credit coming your way. Your post is spot on. We can do things to help ourselves and comittment is essential. I used to get so frustrated with new members coming to the site and not wanting to make the effort to change anything in their lives but wanted to stop gambling. As you say, we have to make changes and then have the comittment to see these changes through for the rest of our lives.

It is lovely to read your post and see how happy you are with your accomplishments. That is what this site is all about. We meet online and you get a feeling of how unhappy or upset someone is with their unmanageable life and then over time you see them growing into a new person. A person who is suddenly happy with their current life situation and their happiness beams out from the screen. I see this with you and you deserve all the success in the world because you were willing to work for it.

Looking forward to day 100.

Tomso.

Good Morning Diary,

Day 91 - Thanks for all the well wishes yesterday another great boost for me!

I tend to mention the numbers on a fairly regular basis. I have not really decided when I will remove the day count. Taking it a day at a time is working for me so for now the numbers remain.

My next milestone is set at 183 days as this will mark half a year.

Until then I will be here every day employing the same tactic which got me through the first 90 days!

Have a nice Sunday all!

Day 91 - Keeping the Numbers

Hi Flagg,

Thank you so much for the post on my diary yesterday....I was struggling Big Time and got replies so quickly and this gave my mind chance to focus on something else!

Have just skimmed last few pages of your diary....Great reading, going to read all of it now.

Numbers.......Yep I totally get it!

Sue...........crawling back into peaceful land! x

Hey flagg,

why break a winning formula eh, it has got you thus far. Laser quest was brilliant i tried to retain a sense of humour at all times and even laughed with the spotty teenagers who decided they wanted to gang up on me, even though i was on some of there team lol. A fun day was had by all.

Enjoy your day flagg

Blondie x

Good morning,

Well it probs will be when you wake up and get this post.

So today I will be keeping a close look out for you next post.

Cause will it be a count up or a count down to your next target.........

Ha e a great day .

Shiny xxxxxx

Just wanted to say...

^ Tomso - great post!!

Yo,

Just a quick good morning to you my friend.

So glad you had a good weekend ,

Enjoyed our date so much wondered if you wanted to pencil in the same for next Saturday, 2 double deckers a week sounds a lot more preferable than loosing our well earned wonga , but I do have concerns it will make you fat. Oh sosssssss just relised virtual double deckers are true to there word (unusual in this day and age) fat free ..........

Have a good day, off to work now, so if there are any shinnanagins going on today , like you I will have to view from afar when I return .

Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Morning Diary,

Day 92 - Very little to say this morning. Was on a real downer last night genuinely could not think of anything positive in my life! Stupid thoughts really and I attribute it to the end of a nice weekend! Feel a but chirpier this morning although I have a severe sore throat like I'm being stabbed over and over again, lovely thought that!

No gambling thoughts or urges, quite a serene time of year really no football, keeping my distance from the horses so it's onwards and upwards on the no gambling front!

Day 92 - Sore Throat!

Yo,

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit under the weather.

Maybe that was part and parcel of the dip in your mood last night.

I can honestly say, and I know the chef and that lovely sis of mine , would be more than happy to have you as the Flagg bearer of the barge.

Take care my friend, by the end of the day I am sure that young whippersnapper will be eating out of your hand .

Shiny xxxxxxxx

ouch ...xx

sending you some good vibes Flagg......theres a nasty bug doing the roads,...all had it up here...sore throat and headache to start......sure it wont develop into the bug but leaves you feeling washed out...had before i went away.

Take care..drink water and take loads of vit c

Rachel xx