A bit of cheesy title I suppose but that's how I'm going to view this diary. I had been gambling heavy for 9 years ish. I've since quit, gone through self exclusions, blocks on devices, counciling, gamcare etc all helped in some way but it's all about willpower ultimately. I know I need to stop and I dread the day where I let my daughter down because I've had a bet. She's only 20 months so I hope she never meets daddy the gambler. That's why I'm back on here, urges keep coming and that'll always be the way. I know how to deal with them but knowing and doing are 2 separate things so I need to stay on my game and focus. I know that if an urge strikes while I'm a little down, stressed or angry then I'm gambling. They're the times when I'm most vulnerable, as I use gambling as an escape. But I can't do that, I can't cope no more with the problems it brings. Life is full of problems and stresses, I just cant add gambling to an already tough life.
Don't want to end on a downer so I will say when I quit 2 years ago I had double the debt I have now, I have a beautiful wife and my daughter, my princess. So I know I'm better off than most and missed opportunities are missed but I need to make the right decisions to not miss out on anymore. I will be debt free in 5 years approx. (yes not a further 2 years unfortunately, the debt repayments have gone down as princesses turn out to be quite expensive!!). So I've got a better handle on things now and life is certainly going in a better direction and of course that is due to not having gambling on my brain 24/7. I'll pay off everything and I'll be proud of that and I'll give my family the life they deserve.
D.
Thank you bluescreen appreciate your post and wish you all the best.
England today. Betting temptations are rather high, I'm skint, my wife and I both had lower pay checks than normal and had more expenses than normal so not a fun month so am thinking of winning the difference. I've tried this 100's of times and it's never the correct move. Repeating the same actions and expecting different results - the definition of insanity aka my mindset. I know it's insanity yet the urge is still there = I'm an addict, this is an addiction, addictive behaviour is never going to be the way to live your life. So I must stay stopped and never start again, it leads to destruction!
No more gambling for me.
Addiction is an emotional response not a rational one. Your mind conjures thoughts to justify the urges.
Let the thoughts come and go. Surf the urges, let them come and go.They’ll soon die down if you don’t feed em
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