My Journey

hi womble

carl

Hey,

Thanks for the post as always. Not sure about yesterday but today I am thoughtful Flagg. It is you making me think!!

As I sit and type I have a pretty serious expression as I concentrate on the keyboard and I try to formulate the correct words. My thought was I wonder what expressions people have as they type? A bit random but I kinda thought reading your last post you pretty much grinned throughout the typing process.

Grinning, Smiling, Laughing in my book it's all progress. Keep doing it even though I now know what expression you have.

Flagg

Hi Sue,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok and having a gr8 wknd xxxx

Hi Diary,

Day 58

All I can say is........never want to drink again!

Thump..thump....thump

Great day out after work yesterday.

Remember the pimms...the perving....didn't make Nandos. I know I had something to eat by the state of the kitchen this morning.

Open butter pack on the side....sprinkles of parmesan cheese.......empty jar of mustard!

Going to chill rest of the day.......eat like a horse...and watch closing ceremony at olympics.

No thoughts of gambling!

Suex

Congrats on the 58 days Sue! Keep up the good work, if it hadnt been for one blip wee while back i'd be around a month free! Thurs 2nd Aug was a bad day for me, but now back on track, and thanks for your kind words after my slip.

Keep strong!

just a flyer hun

to wish you a wurzel free day...oooo ahhh ooo ahhh aye...

lol

arrrgghhh xx

R and D xxx

ps 58 and counting ..life begins after 50!

Hi sue

Hope ur well recovered from the hangover and had a great day chilling , beats having those hang overs from a gambling session and u don't get the day to chill just worry bout how much money we lost

Ur doin great

Take care

Castle2

Hi Sue,

Sounds like you had a great weekend.. albeit with a sore head! But it's good to let go every now and again isn't it? 😉

Hope you are feeling better today and enjoyed the closing ceremony!

Oh and yes.. I am a southerner and thoroughly enjoyed the glorious weather over the weekend!

Have a great day!

Lmm xxx

Hi Diary,

Day 59

I'm sure everyone will be happy to know hangover gone!

Closing ceremony was excellent....how proud was I to be British......shame it all had to come to an end!

Funny when we gamble ....It takes over so much of your life...things get left....put on back burner...we neglect our selfs. Well last week booked dentist appointment..........Went after work today.

Sat here typing now....very numb mouth...bad tooth gone.

Funny moment......Totally true......Receptionist to me "Is 2.30 next monday ok for next appointment"

Me....."Thats fine...but hope it still isn't".......Not sure if everyone will get it....but I thought it was funny!

Receptionist kinda looked blank at me!

Just incase....2.30....tooth hurty.....LOL

Happy Gamble Free Monday!

Sue xxxxxxxxxxx

Hiya Sue...

You also had me thinking a lot after I read your post to me...

Hopefully I won't take up too much of your diary here in explaining as I will have to go right round the houses to say what most can in one line... but to answer your question..I do gamble..its just that my choice of escape is different.

A few things come into this...

I honestly didn't realise women gambled ..and I know that sounds really stupid but I only saw it as a male thing.

When I started reading about it and the two types of gambling...escape and action ..I identified with escape gambling and a lot of women seemed to be escape gamblers so the penny dropped because my escape vices are also similar and solo occupations..Shopping,OCD and drinking ...all in that order of severity and I act on those vices when depressed,angry or bored.

(shopping is my worst..I would forgo booze for clothes and shoes any day of the week).

My ex was an action gambler which triggered my feelings of not being good enough as I felt he would leave me and want more action than I could supply that then triggered my feelings of low esteem and abandonment/death issues and turn to escaping into my own stuff.

If my ex could be at a Grand National event everyday of the week he would be in heaven.

My only "action" type behaviour comes out in the early stages of the newness of a romantic relationship.I get a high thrill then but find it difficult to sustain that over the long haul..(much better at this now)

I think the only difference for me is choice of escape Sue and also my belief in that it was a male occupation.

It seems that gambling can potentially serve as a one stop shop to offer escape and also a high of action combined whereas I have a variety of things to supply the same feelings that appear more socially acceptable.

What I mean by that is that they can be explained away and made excuses for and even laughed at as being "Just Rach..you know what shes like" but still equally destructive in loss and can lock me into a private hell of loneliness too?

I'm the same underneath basically is what I'm saying...and i'm addicted to dopamine. ....LOL

hugs

R and D xxx

hiya Sue,

Your so right we let so many things slip when we gamble and we come back of the cue or bottom of the priority list , Im slowly chaning that list nice to see your moving up yours also. We are important and the longer we stay away from gambling the more our self esteem grows.

Keep looking after youself your so worth it.

Blondie.

New goggles

Teeth done

Whats next on the list ?

xxx

Sue thanks for writing on my wall . Its good to have your support. Keep going you are doing really well. Onwards and upwards

thanks sue for your support, reading your story gives me great encouragement that i can stop also, its only my first day but iam feeling alot better than this time yesterday.

keep going we can beat this

Hi Sue, thanks 4 ur post on my diary as always 🙂

U r doing brilliant, I love reading ur posts they always make me smile 🙂

I'm glad the hangover as passed, let me guess if u r nething like me u said never again lol ...... It's funny how quick we 4get tho hey? 🙂

Thanks 4 ur continued support Sue, it means alot xxxxxxxx

hi sue

carl