My New Life - 22nd Oct 2017

13 days free from gambling.

Almost 2 whole weeks.

It’s Saturday, which means that I’m thinking about betting more than I have been doing recently.

The only thing I can do, for the time being at least, is to steer well clear of the sport today (somehow) and focus on other things instead.

I’m going out for a meal tonight with friends so that will be nice.

It’s tough going at the moment though.

I’ve just got to try and ride through the storm and keep focused on what being free from gambling actually means. Less stress, anxiety, financial worries etc.

Another mini battle coming up today but I’ve got to come out on top. By hook or crook.

Keep at it Moorey. Get through today and enjoy your meal tonight. Just think how you'll feel eating with your friends later trying to cover up the guilt and anxiety you will feel if you give in. Keep strong.

Must admit I’m struggling this evening. Got another unexpected car bill today which has left me deflated. In the past that kind of thing would lead me to gamble recklessly to try and win myself a quick £50-£100.

These are the big tests for me during this recovery. Especially during the early stages of my journey. I’ve just got to keep telling myself that whilst I’m not gambling, then things will continue to pick up. Maybe not now, maybe not in a week or a month. But surely over time, it will eventually.

Day 13. My biggest test so far.

Need to stay strong and NOT gamble.

Hey Moorey!

You answered your dilemma with your own logical thinking:

"I've just got to keep telling myself that whilst I'm not gambling, then things will continue to pick up".

Couldn't be more true words...have patience, allow yourself breathing space.
Gambling would only make things worse.

Stay strong!

Keep it up Moorby and keep GF.

Imagine how you feel with a car repair bill and a big gambling loss to go with it?

You can do this.

The days are stacking up quickly. Already on Day 13 wowza.

Trust life to throw in an obstacle like that... I'm glad you're thinking logically about it all and avoiding that temptation.

Keep it up, think how much easier that bill will be without blowing another load of money.

Thanks for your encouraging words Pasimetus, Muststop123 and Adam808.

You’ve given me plenty of food for thought as I hit 2 weeks gamble free.

Yesterday was pretty tough. Today won’t be much easier with all the football on either. I seem to have come across some bumpy roads in my quest for a gamble-free life.

Nobody said this would be easy though. I just have to make sure I don’t gamble. It’s one simple rule.

I’m in the process of planning out my day, making sure that I don’t leave myself much spare time.

Moorey

So, 15 days ago I made my last bet. Or rather, I had my last spin on roulette.

During that time I’ve had to reflect on a few things in my life.

Such as ‘What does gambling actually do for me?’

The answer is NOTHING. Or certainly nothing positive.

All it does is create unnecessary anxiety and financial stress.

But it also takes away my precious time.

I’m a far better person when I’m with people both in body and mind. Rather than constantly checking my phone for goal alerts etc.

Then there’s the fake front you have to put up when you’ve just lost heavily. It’s all so painful at times. I hate it!

So why do I continue to do this to myself when I know that it’s bad news?

Christmas means so much to me and my family. I’m already envisaging a gamble-free Christmas, with over 60 days under my belt.

On those thoughts I’ll drink to that (Cherry coke tonight haha!).

Moorey

I've just had my first gambling related dream since my recovery began 16 days ago....

I dreamt I had just put a £9 bet on a football match. I won't go into the exact details of what the bet was but it left me sweating on the outcome as I watched the game. I was absolutely gutted as I knew this meant I had to restart the counter at 0.

Nedless to say I was mightily relieved to wake up to find it was all just a dream... 🙂

Well done on the 16 days, Moorey, the days are stacking up.

Odd you should mention the dream. I had a similar experience at about the same number of days. I think the gambling demons realise you are being strong while you are awake so try and haunt you while you are asleep. Only happened once really vividly to point I woke up convinced I had gambled away a big chunk of money, so relieved when I realised it was a nightmare.

Keep up the fight.

Muststop123

I can’t lie, having been to watch my local football team tonight, I had some big urges to place a bet on the match I was watching.

Particularly as the guy sitting next to me was watching on in what looked like ‘excitement’, as his bet seemed to be winning....

Thankfully I stayed strong and those urges passed.

But it goes to show that you can’t ever rest on your laurels, whether you’re 1 day GF or 1000 days GF.

I’ve got a solid base of 16 days gamble free and I don’t want to let this good start slip. I feel like I’m making some decent progress.

Day 16 over and out.

I win again! 🙂

I must say that one of the biggest reasons why I couldn't bear to even contemplate putting a bet on tonight was that I'm enjoying being a part of this wonderful forum. It's a big part of my daily routine and I am getting so much more out of reading about people's individual battles against their demons than any win I may get from gambling. More to the point, I'm getting so much more pleasure out of people clocking up gamble free days and hitting some big numbers.

I feel like I've made some good friends on here. Friends who totally understand the struggles that I am going through. When gambling, I feel totally alone and at times very scared and helpless.

On here, I feel huge comfort and reassurance.

That's why I will continue to abstain from gambling. My life is simply much happier and far more fulfilled without gambling.

Hi Moorey, thought I'd check in on your diary, wow 16 days congrats...you should read back all of them days from day one to see just how far you have come in a short period of time. The gambling devils have already tested you on mulitiple occasions with your car repair, gambling related dreams and going to watch your local team play. You have passed all the tests so far! Don't rest on your laurels buddy and keep smashing it!!

Well done on what must now be 17 days.

I know what you mean about this forum. I get a real high every morning seeing all the GF days mount up for so many and the active support for those struggling even if it is a kick up the **** for anyone who is getting tempted. Very different from the feeling of loneliness you get when gambling - that sound of absolute deafening silence ringing in my ears in the early hours of the morning when I realised I had gambled away another chunk of money, desperately asking myself why I had not stopped earlier when I was up rather than gamble every last penny frantically looking for bonuses or comp points to gamble.

We can be different people and have much better lives.

17th day of being gamble free and for the first time I’m starting to feel a genuine dislike towards gambling and what it does to you.

Just thinking about it actually makes me feel sick.

I’m not naive enough to think that I’m ‘cured’ forever and that I can relax and live happily ever after....

But to actually feel like this today, I feel is progress because I’ve never ever had this previous feeling before.

I feel so much more at ease with this lifestyle. It suits me far better than the one I was leading just 17 days ago.

Life presents us with enough difficulties/challenges at times without us voluntarily adding to those....

Feeling really positive as I close out Day 17.

Have a couple of nights out coming up this weekend which would have fazed me a little while back. But knowing that I won’t be gambling anytime soon, I’m secure in the knowledge that I can have these two nights out without worrying about the state of my finances. They haven’t changed and won’t change until next payday when I can begin to save again.

Goodnight my GamCare family.

Moorey