My Recovery Diary

I am a 19 year old who has been to hell and back in a story that would take an extremely lengthy time to write about, we all come from different backgrounds and different things that lead us to be compulsive/problem gamblers. I’d never been interested in gambling always C*****e. In June ‘17 I had a pretty bad motorbike accident and ended up spending a long time in hospital. It was here my addict lifestyle really took its turn to gambling, football at first and eventually horses from all over the globe at all hours of the day and night. I told myself that with enough research and enough insight into it all I couldn’t lose and whilst I had a few good winners probably totalling into the thousands, I have also lost thousands. I keep telling my self I don’t have a problem and to go with £10 a week and build it up etc but as soon as I’ve got a few hundred quid I’m gone and so is the money. I had my self banned from all online bookmakers in the end so that I had to make an effort to go to the bookies and whilst my winning has increased in the betting shops ... you guessed it so has my losses!!! Anyway I keep telling my self I’m not a cg but I am. My life is very unsettled and always has been so I use gambling as a distraction. I hope that as the important parts of my life fall into place so will my addiction(s).

Today I lost £220, I told my self I’d bet on a horse that is unbeaten and was 1/1 but I arrived at the bookies 2 hours early and by the time the race started I’d blown 220. The horse wins and I’ve lost 440. I’d been doing 1-5 bets a day on stuff i was really confident in and had built the pot from £50. My addiction got the better of me!

anyway guys, this is day 1!!

1/10/17.